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Old 09-30-2015, 07:11 AM
 
73 posts, read 57,088 times
Reputation: 21

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
Have you gone through therapy with a specialist that deals with childhood sexual abuse?

yes i have been seeking help
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Old 09-30-2015, 10:26 AM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,891,306 times
Reputation: 8594
That's what it is going to take for you to get over these issues because that is where they stem from. Good luck to you.
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Old 10-02-2015, 08:45 PM
 
92 posts, read 83,264 times
Reputation: 118
Forgive me for finding this post intriguing. I've always wondered why some women sleep around like that. Is it a constant need for validation and attention? Is it some kind of need to be liked or approved of?

If so, you should change your mindset about the whole thing. The truth is that men care about sex but we don't respect the women that give it to us too easily. For sex to have meaning it has to be a challenge and it has to be connected with emotion. In that kind of a context, it never means anything. It doesn't even mean that they find you attractive.... It might but it might not. For guys sex is like hunger. We get hungry and we look to satisfy it. If we haven't eaten in a while or we've been drinking, we sometimes settle for what's available at 2am. Get my drift. These guys are just using you.

The saddest part of this post is that you are hurting someone else in the process. It's one thing to be working through your own issues. It's another thing to have a person that cares about you and to be sleeping around behind his back. From a guy's perspective, that's as low as it gets.

The only way you will ever be happy is to learn to accept yourself. No one is perfect or ever will be. Find what makes you happy and pursue it. Stop caring about what everyone thinks. Be honest with yourself.
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Old 10-03-2015, 10:12 AM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,659,779 times
Reputation: 54735
OP, find a therapist that deals with borderline personality disorder. You have all the signs, symptoms and risk factors.
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Old 10-04-2015, 01:49 PM
 
179 posts, read 294,782 times
Reputation: 146
Quote:
Originally Posted by howlingtothemoon View Post
i can't stop cheating..... i just can't no matter how hard i try i can't stop doing it it makes me feel good about myself
i seriously need help someone give me advice i have been on and off with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now and i have cheated over 14 times
he knows about alot of them but he doesnt know i have actually been sleeping with so many other men
Find someone who will understand your sexual needs - that you can't be monogamous. There are people who are looking for open relationships, too. Just be honest with your partner, and use protection. That way, it's not cheating. It's only cheatinf when you agree to be monogamous but are not being monogamous.
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Old 10-04-2015, 02:35 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,891,306 times
Reputation: 8594
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrontierMan View Post
The truth is that men care about sex but we don't respect the women that give it to us too easily. For sex to have meaning it has to be a challenge and it has to be connected with emotion. In that kind of a context, it never means anything. It doesn't even mean that they find you attractive.... It might but it might not. For guys sex is like hunger. We get hungry and we look to satisfy it. If we haven't eaten in a while or we've been drinking, we sometimes settle for what's available at 2am. Get my drift. These guys are just using you.
Immature, clueless boys think like this, not men in a general sense.
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Old 10-05-2015, 02:49 AM
 
92 posts, read 83,264 times
Reputation: 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
Immature, clueless boys think like this, not men in a general sense.
Yeah you're right. Adult men love being with women who sleep around, don't have any integrity, and don't respect other people. Very mature.
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Old 10-05-2015, 03:23 AM
 
1,285 posts, read 1,285,189 times
Reputation: 1730
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89 View Post
I don't think you understand the way the OP sees her problem. She wants to stop, but finds herself unable to do so, even though she is aware of the pain she is causing others and herself.
If she really wanted to stop she would go to a different therapist and join a group and learn how others have dealt with her problem. Until she finally decides to work on it, she will continue to do what she does. All I was talking about were some simple solutions she can try until she is ready to go to work. Break up with the bf, she doesn't respect him, and he doesn't even respect himself. Other than the bf, she is no different than other women who feel validated when they are desired by men. Imo, it's just like getting a boob job, nose job, etc she is doing it to feel good about herself.

I guess I figure that most who post threads want to see a variety of responses. Many here will be shocked by stories like hers. Ive met many women over the years like her, all eventually grew out of it. When she is ready she will stop, or she will join a swinger club and have open relationships. Or she can cuckold her bf
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Old 10-05-2015, 10:33 AM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,891,306 times
Reputation: 8594
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrontierMan View Post
Yeah you're right. Adult men love being with women who sleep around, don't have any integrity, and don't respect other people. Very mature.
Mature men understand what a double standard is. They wouldn't judge women "who give it up too fast" as having no integrity and not respecting other people when they are doing the exact same thing themselves.

Of course immature little boys don't have the cognitive ability to recognize what hypocrites they are when they do this.
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