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Yea it must be scary knowing men are catching on to how we have exploited by females.
Exploited? He basically ordered a girl from a catalog. He had to know this was not true love, for God's sake. Don't men wonder why the same guy who can't get a date here can land a gorgeous girl in another country? I think you'd have to be foolish to think they are coming here to marry you even though they are way out of your league looks-wise, but it has nothing to do with money and citizenship.
Most marriages in this country have both partners as bread winners, in many cases (as in EVERY marriage in my extended family) the wife makes more than the husband. Your silly statement above is based on 1958 when men supported the family wholly, this is not the case now. There are plenty of cases where the female is the main breadwinner and has to pay off the man in a divorce, too.
I will acknowledge that custody laws here are extremely unfair to dads, however. I just don't think money is to the degree it used to be anymore. In OPs case though, he basically bought a very expensive prostitute and should have known that's what he was doing from the get-go.
Why in the world would you choke her cat unless you have a few screws loose? Your whole post is virtually unreadable due to the lack of paragraphs, but I made it that far. And then I gave up.
I have been one of those naïve men I see referred to on here. I thought I was getting an old-fashioned woman, beautiful and yes, I guess...somewhat submissive or at least goes in for traditional roles. For about 3 years this was still true, but after trying to work with her in my business found out we were at each others throats all the time. I founded company, have mucho experience at entrepreneurial endeavors but this doesn't mean woman will follow your lead and allow you to LEAD!! So what does Mr. Naïve try to do for peace and prosperity....turn the business over to the strong-willed woman, back out to have some peace for God's sake. I was trying to find something else, another entrepreneurial endeavor to go for so that I do not become a restless, worthless pre-retirement age man slowly fading into obscurity. I became irritable, trying to get info about MY company from my wife who is now running...like pulling eye-teeth, she wants to answer to no one. This got worse and worse until I got fed up one day, almost choked her cat, vicariously representing her, told her I was sick of her, she packed up and moved into our downstairs condo. Things bebopped along, still trying to find a niche for me but alas....everything was remaining static and I was miserable, told her that I was gonna try and retake over my company and run it myself, at first she said oh, ok! I'll do it today, being a smart ass as it would take a month at least to make transition with her accounting changes. We sat down today and tried to talk with her about settlement of divorce without lawyers, tried to ask what she wanted, she refused to tell me w/o benefit of her landlord/lawyer's advice, so...here we go!!! Before she left, I got so mad as usual dealing w/her as she was divulging nothing, like normal. She is so stubborn, will dig in those heels, and refuse to talk w/o lawyering up. So, warned her that they are the only ones who win but she had made up her mind, after filling me fulla bull**** about her prior life, so chock full of yoga and Buddhist thinking, tho I was beginning to see thru her shell of righteousness and light, so got so mad grabbed her as she was leaving to try and get her to talk to me about what she wanted. Well we all know that once she has talked to lawyer...bets are off, she now wants much more...suggesting alimony!!! We are not wealthy, told her could not do that but was being fair, bought her new car, we bought condo together, sell together, offered her $10K out of savings of $50K only because I need it to help open a gym/fitness center, but all the while KNOWING that we could not go forward with her trying to run MY company. So now who knows what lawyer is gonna try to fight for her to get. $5K her citizenship, almost $5K for yoga certification and another $3,500 for opening yoga studio for her. Bought a $25K car for her, paid another $3,500 for her real estate licensing, boy, 3rd divorce and have not learned thru this hard head YET!!!! Oh yeah, $5,000 for wedding rings, plus paying for her insurance monthly. Advice on fighting back with the anecdotal evidence of gold-digging Russians coming to get citizenship and then kick husband to curb???!! ADVICE???
I stopped reading after what I bolded. You're a sick person OP get some therapy.
LOL I am not getting married. Also calling out female privilege in society doesn't mean I dislike women I have several female friends and they agree with me our society is set up to cater to them.
I believe Eazine's comment was to the OP, you know the one who this thread is about. You're not one of those "it's all about me" guys, are you?
Don't wanna get married? Don't. No one is making you.
When my parents got divorced, I was 11, and when my Mom decided to let me come live with her and went to court to challenge the existing custody arrangement, the judge apathetically heard out both sides, eyes practically rolling back into her head, and then looked at me, then age 13, and asked, "Who do you want to live with?" I said, "My Mom." Done.
I find that when the kids are past a certain age, that is often how it goes. Now when they are small it's different, and while sometimes the Mom does put in the lion's share of housekeeping and child-rearing (usually in addition to working) there ARE cases where unfit Moms wind up with custody when they should not. Those cases are wrong. I wouldn't say the whole system is skewed to benefit women, but in some cases, there does seem to be an improper bias. In others maybe not so much. Oh, and I know of at least one case where a woman making more than a man was ordered to pay him alimony. I think we've come a long way with that one. Men aren't necessarily the breadwinners anymore, and it changes things, as one poster pointed out.
OP needs to get his anger under control and keep his hands off the cat and the (soon-to-be-ex) wife. Also take accountability for the things he chose to go along with over the years. People don't take you for a ride unless you let them. Get a lawyer. Use paragraphs. All good advice.
Real stats back up my arguments the majority of marriages end in divorce and are a bad financial move if you are a male. If you are a female marriage and divorce can work out very well for you financially.
In terms of marriages being a "bad financial move" if you are male, I live in Washington State, which is considered to be a "community property" state. The divorce laws here are set up so the default presumption is that in a dissolution of a marriage that has lasted less than about 5 years, the parties will take out of the marriage what they brought into it. As the years of the marriage increase, so does the percentage of the community property that each party will take out of the marriage- until it hits 50/50, at about 20 years or so.
Of course, this is only the default presumption, so particular circumstances can change the distribution. I only mention this because, Washington, being a "big, bad community property state", has set things up so that marriage doesn't automatically mean "giving up half your stuff". I don't know for sure, but I'd be surprised if a lot of other jurisdictions didn't have similar set-ups.
You seriously expected a Russian woman to be submissive? I've been to Russia and several other countries formerly under Soviet control. I don't think submissive is in their vocabulary, quite the opposite. Sorry, don't feel sorry for you at all. I don't understand why men continue to do this.
Last edited by david0966; 09-23-2015 at 03:18 PM..
Seriously. I'm half Russian and from what I remember of that side of the family, even the American-born ones will give you a run for your money! The OP's mention of stubbornness is of no surprise, as compromise is commonly viewed as weakness.
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann
Or.. Any for that matter. Like a wagon with four square wheels.
Don't get me wrong.... its part of the reason why I fell for a Russian woman. Absolutely non-compromising, trust, loyalty, and family oriented. Some of the strongest women (and most men)I have ever met... Treat them right... they absolutely know how to make a husband happy... absolutely passionate. Treat them wrong and be prepared for the consequences. Absolutely no weakness shown outwardly and they certainly don't expect it out of their husbands.
I've dated others but there was no experience quite like dating a Soviet born Russian woman.
The difference with the OP was that the Russians I've known were already making a life for themselves on US soil by choice. The thing with mail order brides is that many have obtaining a better life and opportunity as a primary goal. If this means marrying someone, then so be it. Pair that up with what I know with Russian women, Its going to be all about climbing ahead in life.... and do so with determination.
I really don't know what to say to the OP. I fully expect that she will go for everything she can get in the divorce... no compromises. Nothing the OP posted surprises me. Especially with how the OP showed his anger towards her. I hope you have a good lawyer.
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