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I know right? I'm tired of that bull. I haven't had a date since I was dumped a couple months ago. I guarantee I will never go on a date again. Then again, I'm 42 and chubby so I don't count. When men say that dating is easy for women, they think of pretty women.
Have you ever tried to travel without a significant other as an adult? Sure, it can be done. Yes, it is done. However, it isn't really all that easy to do. This New York Times article underscores the problem for singles. By the way, the author is female.
The key paragraph:
"For solo travelers, this G-rated makeover underscores a broader problem: the travel industry is just not that into you. Singles typically have to pay supplement fees on cruise ships and endure hotels where the Jacuzzi is little more than a kiddie pool. Sure, there are singles tours, fitness boot camps and other adventures that facilitate mingling. But if you’re like me — not looking for romance, but simply yearning for a lazy Caribbean escape — the options are few. At most places you’ll feel as if you’re on someone else’s family vacation or, worse, honeymoon."
Oh that explains it. I was so puzzled about your comment about traveling alone till I read this but I don't go on those kind of trips TG. Last summer I went to Scotland by myself and loved it and stayed in hostels. Problem solved. I also camp by myself sometimes. Not a problem and I'm female.
It is not that we are afraid of you. It is more rejection and intimacy. It is not like we think that you're going to eat use for additional nourishment and if we did; there would be guys who find that hot.
I find seriously asking a woman that I like out to be extremely intimate.
I can flirt without a problem. I can hit on a woman no problem. I do it all the time, but actually saying, "Would you like to go out some time?" is very difficult for me. It puts myself out there in a very uncomfortable way. I'm actually a pretty confident person and when people have described me; they usually use the word "confident" and sometimes "cocky" even and, unfortunately, a few times as "arrogant".
Here is the little mental "Catch-22" that plays out in my noggin: If I like a woman; I want to ask her out. However, by asking her out, I need to factor in the possibility of rejection. Best way of coping with rejection is to view it as no big deal. However, if it is not big deal, then what is even the point of asking in the first place?
I have no problems talking with women in the same way I have no problems talking with men. I have no problems flirting. But when it comes to "putting pen to paper", my confidence fades and my demeanor changes to the point that when I actually ask her out that she thinks that I'm about to give her bad news. Like her dog just died. I'm pretty sure you can imagine that a guy asking you out with all the enthusiasm of a terminal cancer diagnosis doesn't achieve the best results.
It's not even awkward. Awkward can sometimes be cute and endearing. Awkward can come off as, "Awww, he's nervous because he really likes me." I come off like I lost a bet and this is something I have to do and I am really hoping that you are getting the hint.
This is the main reason why I haven't had any serious relationships and the handful relationships I have had are because she made the first move.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014
Typically when a "not so attractive' female gets a lot of attention/has a lot of guys chasing her, it's because of one thing. She does things that other females don't typically do, and she does them on the first date.
I hear about guys who are attractive, who have great careers, who have savings, investments, and who drive new luxury autos. Yet these same guys can't buy a date. Something gets messed up between their mind and their mouths. They are awkward in any flirtatious environment, and women just don't find it worth the time to even try. Every time I read one of these threads I think of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho......
As for saying women have it easier, those people don't date much, or know many women intimately.....it's a load of sheet.
In fairness, Patrick Bateman got laid. Some of these guys seem a bit more Elliot Rodger who in theory should have at least been able to have sex once, but his seething narcissism and creepiness and latent mental illness created one of the least attractive men on earth.
Back to the rest of your post.
Women tend to have higher standards. Like I said, it is not a bad thing. It's also generally believed to be rooted in evolutionary psychology.
She is subconsciously thinking of the long term and thinking about biological compatibility. Which is one of the reasons why guys tend to like the same things, but there is such a vast variety of taste in regards to women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck
I know right? I'm tired of that bull. I haven't had a date since I was dumped a couple months ago. I guarantee I will never go on a date again. Then again, I'm 42 and chubby so I don't count. When men say that dating is easy for women, they think of pretty women.
None of it matters. You're still utterly miserable because you are not getting women on any level. Your lifestyle is far from magnificent.
The travel industry isn't geared towards those traveling alone. You are very restricted on what you can do travel-wise without a significant other. Also, it's not really feasible to travel with a significant other until at least 6 months into the relationship.
Your clothes don't matter unless you approach.
Your car doesn't matter unless you have enough social skills to get a prospect to see your car.
I wouldn't say I'm utterly miserable - when I'm not thinking about dating, I'm very happy
I wouldn't say I'm utterly miserable - when I'm not thinking about dating, I'm very happy
everything else you said is right on the money
Well, it would seem that you are, in fact, pretty miserable since you seem to be thinking about dating constantly judging by your all of your posts and threads here.
Have you ever tried to travel without a significant other as an adult? Sure, it can be done. Yes, it is done. However, it isn't really all that easy to do. This New York Times article underscores the problem for singles. By the way, the author is female.
The key paragraph:
"For solo travelers, this G-rated makeover underscores a broader problem: the travel industry is just not that into you. Singles typically have to pay supplement fees on cruise ships and endure hotels where the Jacuzzi is little more than a kiddie pool. Sure, there are singles tours, fitness boot camps and other adventures that facilitate mingling. But if you’re like me — not looking for romance, but simply yearning for a lazy Caribbean escape — the options are few. At most places you’ll feel as if you’re on someone else’s family vacation or, worse, honeymoon."
The most common travels that I've observed singles not in relationships do is travel to see their families, assuming that the person in question lives a fair distance from their parents/siblings/extended families. The singles that I've talked to about this consider it an ordeal to a degree.
The next common option is traveling to where a friend lives. Not a bad option. The common restrictions are the friend's schedule and where that person lives.
Traveling to a new locale with a sibling/cousin/friend is also a choice for a single. Again, you are very dependent upon the other person. Often times, the logistics are hard to make this option viable.
Then, you get into alone options. Probably the most common one is the group tour. United States residents might do this for a European or South American trip if they want to go and don't have a significant other. Basically, you are seeing another continent with a bunch of strangers.
After that, you're looking at options like singles cruises or going to the Club Med in Turks & Caicos (the big singles Club Med that is covered in the above NYT article). You might be able to get some casual sex on those vacations, but the odds are against anything more than that.
If you travel alone outside your home city, you're really lacking for companionship. It's hard to do a lot of things. Some singles either don't use all their vacation days, or they use vacation days to stay in their hometown and re-charge locally, which isn't an awful option.
As for what I said on timelines, it is just a generally guideline. Couples move at different speeds. Not everyone gets married within 6 months of meeting someone. The point is that you really need to have a solid foundation in the relationship before going on an extended trip with someone.
So prepackaged tours don't cater to singles.....well....I don't see why someone would go thst route. That isn't travelling...that is being herded.
When I lived in Europe, sometimes I'd just find an affordable train ride to someplace. Same when I was single and in the States...jump in the car or head to the airport or the open road.
Single people not using their vacation days is a different topic than not being able to travel.
No I was saying that's awesome for myself. My confidence has been way higher ever since I've gotten into this industry
I don't want a woman to see me as a free meal ticket anyways. It's cool that she appreciates my ferocious drive and ambition but I want her to be crazy about who I am as a person
.
I think you should date yourself, propose, and then marry yourself. Then, and only then, will you have found the perfect person for yourself.
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