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I keep seeing this mentioned here and elsewhere. It looks common that the person ends up being much heavier, older, whatever, than their pics.
I on the other hand have honestly never had this problem. If anything every woman I've met in online dating has looked better than their pics, if anything. Not that looks are everything, but who are we kidding? We don't live in a 1990's After School Special. They matter...at least somewhat.
Maybe, I'm just lucky, but I don't think that's completely it. While far, far from a dating pro I think I have some skill in finding women online who I'd want to go on a date with.
These few tips are going to come off as super shallow, but since a thread about looks is going to be shallow to some degree anyway then...oh well.
Tips
Avoid users with only one photo: This should be obvious. Even Jabba the Hut himself could probably take at least one selfie which makes him look beautiful. I only ever met with one woman who just had a single photo. She turned out to look better than the photo, but in that case it really was just luck.
Look for users with photos that have a lot of variety: Generally you want to look for someone who has at least three photos and with at least one of those photos being a full body shot. By full body shot I'm not talking some shot from the beach where they're wearing next to nothing or one from winter where they have on a huge coat. Just a shot of their full body in something like pants and a shirt.
Look for signs that the photos were recent: Sometimes the captions are the only way to tell, such as a photo caption saying, "Me earlier this year on vacation" or something. Other times it may be from some big recent event, which is kind of rare, but helps. Of course with the caption people can always lie and say an old pic is recent. However, people can lie about anything and if they're that blatant about it, their looks may be the least of your problems with them.
Look for photos that look like they were taken with a regular camera: Those ones that look like they were taken in a studio can be misleading. Although I think them actually being bots may be the bigger problem than being misleading about physical appearance.
Look for physical traits that would bother you: Everyone is different of course. For instance super picky people could be thrown off by something as small as a guy's arms being a little too short. So if there is some physical trait that would really bother you scan really hard for it. Sometimes it may be hidden in just one photo so the person may then be able to say it wasn't technically an omission. I'm lucky in that I'm really not that picky and the only things that would really bother me would be glaringly obvious.
Be patient and don't just message anyone: This one actually applies to more than just looks. For guys the percentage of dates you get from first messaging someone will almost definitely be super, super low. I've seen guys boast that they ended up meeting 25% of everyone they first messaged. For that I say it's either bullcrap or they're literally messaging anyone with a pulse, regardless of looks. Or they're Leonardo DiCaprio. One of the three. If you're a guy and just want to meet a warm body you might have a percentage that high or even higher, but otherwise look forward to getting tons and tons of non-responses.
Like I said, I'm far from an expert at dating or anything. Heck, my three latest ones led to exactly nothing. However, when it comes to meeting people who look either like their photos, I've succeeded at that and honestly don't think it was just dumb luck.
So thoughts? Other advice? How important is it that a person looks like their pics to you?
A lot can be done with a camera. Especially for women, since men are more visually oriented.
That said, one of the best things that can happen for a guy on a date that started online is when the woman looks BETTER than her pictures. THAT is a good first impression. If a woman is having more trouble impressing first dates than landing them, the first thing I'd tell them is to put more "normal" pictures on their page. I'd say the opposite to someone that was having the reverse issue.
I am not photogenic and only look like my photos sometimes. On the up note usually the reaction to meeting me in person is that I look better than my photos. I am generally a "cute" person but my shine doesn't come out it photos.
Some people are photogenic, some people aren't. I'll admit I have used photos that are a few years old occasionally, but I can't tell the difference other than knowing the outfit or having a slightly different hairstyle. I have hardly changed in 5 years other than picking new favorite lipstick colors. And getting better at knowing my angles.
What I do hate is people who use old pictures and have clearly aged.
I am generally a "cute" person but my shine doesn't come out it photos.
Same here. I don't translate as well on paper as I do in real life, both with looks and personality. I do have pictures of me that are just the top half, and I do have a couple that are recent that show I don't weigh 700 lbs. My oldest shot is 2 years old and I included it because it's a fun picture of a gal in my tour group and I "rocking the Kasbah" - we're playing air guitar in front of a kasbah in Morocco. I don't know how that picture turned out with as hard as the guy who took it was laughing.
I'm not photogenic, but lately, it seems pictures of me have been looking a bit better. My BFF took a selfie (man, I hate that word!) of us not too long ago and I've received a lot of compliments on it. It is by far one of the best pictures of me ever taken.
Interestingly, however, when I made that my main profile pic on OKC instead of the one I had which is still cute but more playful, I got less profile views and messages.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408
What I do hate is people who use old pictures and have clearly aged.
For me it's those who post a picture that makes me wonder by exactly how many years they are lying about their age in their details. Or I think "Wow. You really are NOT aging well if you are only 36!"
I've never tried online dating but I've messed around on dating site before. Usually the profile pic will be very pretty and when I click into their profile, their other pics look that of a whale. It's the angles man. Holy ****.
I do not date but I would imagine it's becuase the people choosing the pictures are the ones posting them.
It's a naturally baiased opinion based on one perspective.
I have never had this problem. It is just common sense, she must have one close up and one full body shot in normal clothes else I assume she is obese.
People that do have this problem will not read and/or follow your very long recommendations.
I expect this will become more of a problem as years go by. Ten years ago not a lot of people took digital selfies. Now most everyone has an electronic archive of photos of themselves. In 2020 there it will be very easy for someone to just post ten year old photos of themselves without any way to know otherwise.
Most every woman I have met online have looked fine, attractive or cute at least. Most were bigger than the pictures (angled selfies), but that's never been a deal breaker for me. A few have not looked like their pictures.
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