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Yes. Im actually in group therapy for it along with other people with the same issues. Apparently, for us, the source was dysfunctional families in childhood.
"Social anxiety" = worrying too much about what you think others are thinking about YOU.
Place the focus on other people when you are out and work on learning more about THEM. That's what relationships are supposed to be based on anyway ... mutual interests and caring. Take yourself out of the equation.
Are there any people on here with moderate to severe SA? How has it affected your dating life? I am female, 20's, but always found it hard to find a boyfriend because of this. I've been able to attract men one way or another but having SA makes it difficult to get to know people and find the right match.
I have tried very hard to get over my SA but still struggle and rarely go out. Being an introvert also doesn't help, as I like my alone time. But then I find myself getting lonely so it's like a cycle that's hard to break.
I have no problem with ladies with SA. If you're in the Maryland area hit me up
Definitely. My anxiety has gotten better, professionally. Like dealing with anything business related.
But socializing simply for the sake of it, is as bad as ever. Usually whenever I am out, I am not paying much attention to people, and have my music in while in my own little world. So, that is surely not inviting. But that's how I entertain myself, and it relaxes me.
I am fine with talking to people - if they come to me. According to my mother, I get that from my father, who is also shy, but overcompensates- as my mother says. But going on both my parents, I am worse than my father. Which I jokingly comment I got the worst traits from both of them. Both of them have anxiety. Then I also got the depression from my mother.
This sort of baffles me. I know a guy who has SA but you would not know it when he's at work. It wasn't until we were outside of work that it showed that he had SA and I couldn't understand how someone who deals with the public daily in his professional life could have SA.
Why is it comfortable socializing in a business environment vs a social one? I would think strangers are strangers regardless of the setting.
Yes. Im actually in group therapy for it along with other people with the same issues. Apparently, for us, the source was dysfunctional families in childhood.
It's great you're getting help and yes the guy I know who has SA did have a troubled childhood, so there is truth to that.
This sort of baffles me. I know a guy who has SA but you would not know it when he's at work. It wasn't until we were outside of work that it showed that he had SA and I couldn't understand how someone who deals with the public daily in his professional life could have SA.
Why is it comfortable socializing in a business environment vs a social one? I would think strangers are strangers regardless of the setting.
Hard to explain. But I can try.
Being around someone who's being paid to assist you, or see to you is just easier. I am not shy going to a dentist, or doctor, diner, speaking with an employee, or boss. Making appointments, etc That's just easy. Asking for help if I can't find something in a store. Plus it helps that you need to do those things. There's nothing personal, vulnerable there. Least not for me. It's like how some shy guys may have trouble talking to women, but they are perfectly comfortable paying a hooker.
Business is just different from Casual. Just like the former names states. Business is just business.
Like sex. It's always sex. But whom you have it with, and under what context can change things a good bit. Sex with a hooker is probably going to be way different than sex for the 1st time with a girl whom the man has feelings for and wants to continue seeing. Thus he's probably liable to care more what she thinks of him than the hooker. 1 was business. The other has more feeling tied to it, and room to be nervous how they come across, and how accepted they are.
You're going for sharing yourself personally with other people. Trying to get together with people to form personal relationships - platonic or sexual, can be more challenging than being around or talking to someone for profit, or assistance, with nothing more expected. The latter is alot less personable, then if there's a mishap, it's not as upsetting.
Being around someone who's being paid to assist you, or see to you is just easier. I am not shy going to a dentist, or doctor, diner, speaking with an employee, or boss. Making appointments, etc That's just easy. Asking for help if I can't find something in a store. Plus it helps that you need to do those things. There's nothing personal, vulnerable there. Least not for me. It's like how some shy guys may have trouble talking to women, but they are perfectly comfortable paying a hooker.
Business is just different from Casual. Just like the former names states. Business is just business.
Like sex. It's always sex. But whom you have it with, and under what context can change things a good bit. Sex with a hooker is probably going to be way different than sex for the 1st time with a girl whom the man has feelings for and wants to continue seeing. Thus he's probably liable to care more what she thinks of him than the hooker. 1 was business. The other has more feeling tied to it, and room to be nervous how they come across, and how accepted they are.
You're going for sharing yourself personally with other people. Trying to get together with people to form personal relationships - platonic or sexual, can be more challenging than being around or talking to someone for profit, or assistance, with nothing more expected. The latter is alot less personable, then if there's a mishap, it's not as upsetting.
You explained it very well.
But mostly, for me, it's that you have to come up with chatter out of the blue. I can't just meet someone and have a whole bunch of small talk to throw at them. But people expect that.
My SO would always talk about how easy it was to speak with/in front of people at work because you just have to concentrate on the work; you know the information, you know what you're going to say, and that's all you have to deal with. I didn't really get it until I had to do it myself with clients. You're just dealing with facts; it's nothing personal, you know exactly what to say, so it's pretty basic and just handles itself. Getting personal is a whole different story altogether.
How can you tell the difference of wheter you have social anxiety or are just shy?
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