Question for women 35+. (looking, attract, settle, people)
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Tell me about it. I am dating someone smoking hot over 40... lovely, kind wonderful, sexy and yes, the sex is out of this world.
I really think a lot of guys who get on here are doing it to try to tear down women out of revenge for lack of attention. They are the ones who are very unlucky in love and have this hope that some day, the tables will be turned on their enemy: women. I have a cousin like this and it's pathetic what he thinks. They can't get any female attention for whatever reason, so they start listening to and buying into this "sexual market value" crap that someone made up and posted online (so it "must' be true). They think women have (as another poster put it) an expiration date.
This stuff comforts them, they start to believe it's true... because it tells them, "hey, someday the tables will be turned and YOU will be in demand the same way you desire women now." They buy into this idea that all the women who ever turned them down will some day be "punished" by a lack of male attention. It feeds into a feeling of revenge as well as false hope.
The problem is that's just made-up feel good crap someone posted online. It's not the real world. In the real world people (men AND women) who take care of themselves physically and are outgoing and friendly personality-wise will be successful in attracting the opposite sex. Doesn't matter if you are 20, 30, 40, 50, or even 70. There's is no magic number when men are more desirable and women are less desirable. It's all about the individual as a person and how you project yourself.
The answer, stop believing this crap and get off your butt and DO SOMETHING about yourself. Don't sit around waiting for the magic day when you "get your revenge." It's not going to happen. Work on your personality (maybe join Toastmasters), hit the gym and eat healthy... take care of your body. Be sociable, volunteer and grow your heart a little to care for someone other than yourself. Etc, etc. If you still have problems, get a dating coach either a friend or a professional (or maybe even therapy if your problems are that severe).
Of course, that will all fall on deaf ears. This stuff is like religion to some guys. It is to my cousin. He won't listen to me at all. Thinks magically, someday, women will be clamoring all over him. He's like a brainwashed cultist believing this crap and he's going to end up an alone, bitter old man. I can't talk sense into him...of course neither can his brother or dad. I can see the bitterness happening to him already.
It reminds me of the Aeosop's Fable, The Fox and the Grapes.
Tell me about it. I am dating someone smoking hot over 40... lovely, kind wonderful, sexy and yes, the sex is out of this world.
I really think a lot of guys who get on here are doing it to try to tear down women out of revenge for lack of attention. They are the ones who are very unlucky in love and have this hope that some day, the tables will be turned on their enemy: women. I have a cousin like this and it's pathetic what he thinks. They can't get any female attention for whatever reason, so they start listening to and buying into this "sexual market value" crap that someone made up and posted online (so it "must' be true). They think women have (as another poster put it) an expiration date.
This stuff comforts them, they start to believe it's true... because it tells them, "hey, someday the tables will be turned and YOU will be in demand the same way you desire women now." They buy into this idea that all the women who ever turned them down will some day be "punished" by a lack of male attention. It feeds into a feeling of revenge as well as false hope.
The problem is that's just made-up feel good crap someone posted online. It's not the real world. In the real world people (men AND women) who take care of themselves physically and are outgoing and friendly personality-wise will be successful in attracting the opposite sex. Doesn't matter if you are 20, 30, 40, 50, or even 70. There's is no magic number when men are more desirable and women are less desirable. It's all about the individual as a person and how you project yourself.
The answer, stop believing this crap and get off your butt and DO SOMETHING about yourself. Don't sit around waiting for the magic day when you "get your revenge." It's not going to happen. Work on your personality (maybe join Toastmasters), hit the gym and eat healthy... take care of your body. Be sociable, volunteer and grow your heart a little to care for someone other than yourself. Etc, etc. If you still have problems, get a dating coach either a friend or a professional (or maybe even therapy if your problems are that severe).
Of course, that will all fall on deaf ears. This stuff is like religion to some guys. It is to my cousin. He won't listen to me at all. Thinks magically, someday, women will be clamoring all over him. He's like a brainwashed cultist believing this crap and he's going to end up an alone, bitter old man. I can't talk sense into him...of course neither can his brother or dad. I can see the bitterness happening to him already.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,913,481 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
This stuff comforts them, they start to believe it's true... because it tells them, "hey, someday the tables will be turned and YOU will be in demand the same way you desire women now." They buy into this idea that all the women who ever turned them down will some day be "punished" by a lack of male attention. It feeds into a feeling of revenge as well as false hope.
Overall, once again, I think you are 100% on target. I have gotten attention by women in my 40s that wouldn't have given me the time of day in my 20s. But they're not being punished... well, maybe they are, I might be a punishment. Its because I'm not the same person. In my 20s I was more into, I never hit the gym, I ate like crap, I was depressed and self medicating.. and yeah, did I date and party? Sure, but not the same type of women. I was a bitter SOB.
Things are still tough in many ways. It's easy to date ,but hard to find a relationship, but in the end I like myself much more, and so life is better. I can't imagine wanting to punish anyone. And looking around, I see my 35 yo, and 45 yo lady friends, and they're, for the most part (there are a few exceptions) living and loving life. None, absolute none, feel washed up or unatttractive.
Just a question for the older women here, back in your younger prime years would you say you were very attractive and got lots of men looking at you and trying to date you? Does being older and thus getting less attention bother you?
You are assuming that a woman over the age of 35 receives less attention. Your assumption is wrong. There is a confidence that comes with age for many women. Mature, adult men find this confidence attractive.
My guess is that few would put you into the category of mature or adult.
Tell me about it. I am dating someone smoking hot over 40... lovely, kind wonderful, sexy and yes, the sex is out of this world.
I really think a lot of guys who get on here are doing it to try to tear down women out of revenge for lack of attention. They are the ones who are very unlucky in love and have this hope that some day, the tables will be turned on their enemy: women. I have a cousin like this and it's pathetic what he thinks. They can't get any female attention for whatever reason, so they start listening to and buying into this "sexual market value" crap that someone made up and posted online (so it "must' be true). They think women have (as another poster put it) an expiration date.
This stuff comforts them, they start to believe it's true... because it tells them, "hey, someday the tables will be turned and YOU will be in demand the same way you desire women now." They buy into this idea that all the women who ever turned them down will some day be "punished" by a lack of male attention. It feeds into a feeling of revenge as well as false hope.
The problem is that's just made-up feel good crap someone posted online. It's not the real world. In the real world people (men AND women) who take care of themselves physically and are outgoing and friendly personality-wise will be successful in attracting the opposite sex. Doesn't matter if you are 20, 30, 40, 50, or even 70. There's is no magic number when men are more desirable and women are less desirable. It's all about the individual as a person and how you project yourself.
The answer, stop believing this crap and get off your butt and DO SOMETHING about yourself. Don't sit around waiting for the magic day when you "get your revenge." It's not going to happen. Work on your personality (maybe join Toastmasters), hit the gym and eat healthy... take care of your body. Be sociable, volunteer and grow your heart a little to care for someone other than yourself. Etc, etc. If you still have problems, get a dating coach either a friend or a professional (or maybe even therapy if your problems are that severe).
Of course, that will all fall on deaf ears. This stuff is like religion to some guys. It is to my cousin. He won't listen to me at all. Thinks magically, someday, women will be clamoring all over him. He's like a brainwashed cultist believing this crap and he's going to end up an alone, bitter old man. I can't talk sense into him...of course neither can his brother or dad. I can see the bitterness happening to him already.
Bravo! "Someday you'll want me and you'll be sorry, by golly!"
It makes no sense whatsoever, because these women don't know them, and if there is one good thing about getting older, it's that you really don't care what people you wouldn't possibly be interested in dating in the first place think of you.
And yes, your cousin is in for a rude awakening. Twenty-something schlubs don't magically turn into 40-something studs. Without any effort at self-improvement and sex appeal, they just become older versions of themselves. Not sure why a boring, sexist, out-of-shape, nasty person would think that adding gray or thinning hair and subtracting testosterone would make him more appealing to the ladies. Bizarre in its complete lack of logic.
It's ironic how a young woman can complain when she gets attention, and then yearn for it when she's older. This is one area in which I'm sure we can all agree men are far more consistent in.
Just a question for the older women here, back in your younger prime years would you say you were very attractive and got lots of men looking at you and trying to date you? Does being older and thus getting less attention bother you?
I can't say I miss the days of guys hollering at me from cars, no. They were usually older than me anyway. Guys my age usually liked the 5'2" blonde cheerleader, not the weird skinny girl who was taller than they were. I was rarely approached for a date but I always had a boyfriend, so I don't know how that worked out. Getting older bothers me in some ways, but it's also a relief to be more invisible now. I don't like feeling that my body is the reason someone is talking to me.
I get just as many men checking me out now as I did back then. I have no problem getting dates, but I have a problem getting decent men. Once I turned 35, I expected a drastic drop in the number of interested men in online dating too, but that hasn't happened yet. Even the youngsters contact me non-stop. But I don't equate quantity with quality. I'd give up all the attention for one decent guy who actually sticks around.
Tell me about it. I am dating someone smoking hot over 40... lovely, kind wonderful, sexy and yes, the sex is out of this world.
I really think a lot of guys who get on here are doing it to try to tear down women out of revenge for lack of attention. They are the ones who are very unlucky in love and have this hope that some day, the tables will be turned on their enemy: women. I have a cousin like this and it's pathetic what he thinks. They can't get any female attention for whatever reason, so they start listening to and buying into this "sexual market value" crap that someone made up and posted online (so it "must' be true). They think women have (as another poster put it) an expiration date.
This stuff comforts them, they start to believe it's true... because it tells them, "hey, someday the tables will be turned and YOU will be in demand the same way you desire women now." They buy into this idea that all the women who ever turned them down will some day be "punished" by a lack of male attention. It feeds into a feeling of revenge as well as false hope.
The problem is that's just made-up feel good crap someone posted online. It's not the real world. In the real world people (men AND women) who take care of themselves physically and are outgoing and friendly personality-wise will be successful in attracting the opposite sex. Doesn't matter if you are 20, 30, 40, 50, or even 70. There's is no magic number when men are more desirable and women are less desirable. It's all about the individual as a person and how you project yourself.
The answer, stop believing this crap and get off your butt and DO SOMETHING about yourself. Don't sit around waiting for the magic day when you "get your revenge." It's not going to happen. Work on your personality (maybe join Toastmasters), hit the gym and eat healthy... take care of your body. Be sociable, volunteer and grow your heart a little to care for someone other than yourself. Etc, etc. If you still have problems, get a dating coach either a friend or a professional (or maybe even therapy if your problems are that severe).
Of course, that will all fall on deaf ears. This stuff is like religion to some guys. It is to my cousin. He won't listen to me at all. Thinks magically, someday, women will be clamoring all over him. He's like a brainwashed cultist believing this crap and he's going to end up an alone, bitter old man. I can't talk sense into him...of course neither can his brother or dad. I can see the bitterness happening to him already.
Thank you for such an awesome post!
There are actually a bunch of posts on this thread that are great, but this one stands out. It's nice to read all the positive things people have to say about how great they feel about getting older. I've generally enjoyed life the older I've gotten too.
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