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I always ask what kind of relationship he is seeking. I have gotten some honest answers and I have gotten some vague answers. Most men don't want to waste their time with a woman who they know is not where they are in terms of dating. I am not out to change anyone's decision about what they want. I move on if we see dating differently. If he says what he thinks I want to hear, I will listen and watch until I can figure out his real intention.
I've had several instances where a guy has asked me what I'm looking for in a guy, and I tell him what they are and when I ask him the same question, he answers back along the lines of "Basically the same in a woman". Is it me, or does that sound half-assed? I mean I understand that there are SOME things that I look for he is possibly looking for as well, but nothing he can come up with on his own??? When you ask someone what they're looking for after they've asked you, do you expect their answer to be at least slightly different from yours, and have some originality?
A man with originality wouldn't ask that in the first place. He might ask something like "what are you looking for from dating--something casual, serious, etc?" so he can see if you're on the same page. But asking what you're looking for in a man implies what traits you like. So what is he going to do with that information? Try to become that guy if he likes you? Use the information to appear he is that kind of guy to manipulate you? Very strange question to ask a woman.
A man with originality wouldn't ask that in the first place. He might ask something like "what are you looking for from dating--something casual, serious, etc?" so he can see if you're on the same page. But asking what you're looking for in a man implies what traits you like. So what is he going to do with that information? Try to become that guy if he likes you? Use the information to appear he is that kind of guy to manipulate you? Very strange question to ask a woman.
I agree. It seems like the list of traits isn't going to be very helpful unless she says something pretty unusual. Nobody is going to say, "Dang, I'm not honest/trustworthy/kind/intelligent/hardworking/good-natured. I'm actually kind of a liar/flake/dummy/slacker/jerk, so I don't think this is going to work out."
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Originally Posted by JustJulia
I agree. It seems like the list of traits isn't going to be very helpful unless she says something pretty unusual. Nobody is going to say, "Dang, I'm not honest/trustworthy/kind/intelligent/hardworking/good-natured. I'm actually kind of a liar/flake/dummy/slacker/jerk, so I don't think this is going to work out."
I never had to ask because all guys usually say it right away.
I had lots of guys talk about marriage on the first date which I found a bit scary.
I did too and said I would make a great mom to his daughter.
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