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But OP has clearly expressed that he doesn't wish to live with a woman..
I'm not convinced he understands that you can live with a woman and not be legally tied to her. All the reasons (unless I missed it way early in this thread) he posted recently seem to be around fear of Alimony and loosing out in court. May be its not being so negative as much as being cautious. There are quite a few people who went into marriage without caution and ended up in a lifetime of hurt.
I'm fairly frugal (because of the environment I grew up in) while many of my coworkers love to spend money... money comes up a lot during lunch. When I say things like "I don't really need a new watch.. old one even damaged is fine...", many of them see me as being a kill-joy/negative. It really isn't that... it is that I'm hypersensitive to financial risk. Just different perspectives.
I think one can provide a healthy environment for a child that includes a mother and father and excludes marriage.
I'm not convinced he understands that you can live with a woman and not be legally tied to her. All the reasons (unless I missed it way early in this thread) he posted recently seem to be around fear of Alimony and loosing out in court. May be its not being so negative as much as being cautious. There are quite a few people who went into marriage without caution and ended up in a lifetime of hurt.
I'm fairly frugal (because of the environment I grew up in) while many of my coworkers love to spend money... money comes up a lot during lunch. When I say things like "I don't really need a new watch.. old one even damaged is fine...", many of them see me as being a kill-joy/negative. It really isn't that... it is that I'm hypersensitive to financial risk. Just different perspectives.
I think one can provide a healthy environment for a child that includes a mother and father and excludes marriage.
While it's true that a couple doesn't have to be legally married to have a family, I think jotucker is going to have a hard time finding a woman who would want to raise a family with someone who keeps her at arms length and has one foot out the door. Not being married doesn't mean people won't get emotionally invested or that your can keep all your toys to yourself. Nobody wants to be taken advantage of, but when it comes to relationships you do have to let your guard down a little.
It's a lot to think about. To be perfectly honest with you and everybody on this forum, there's a part of me that might want to have a kid or two down the line, but I might honestly want that situation to have NO TIES to an American woman nor The Family Court.
The Family Court and its laws are not fair in relation to men and I do not like the fact that a woman (if she wants to) could rip a guy over at any time she pleases, for whatever she pleases. Just like you bought up how a woman could fight hard to where I'm paying child support out of the rear, for a kid I can only see two weekends out of the month (4 days a month). That's the system, and nobody seems to care about said system because it hurts MEN, and nobody cares about MEN in today's America. If women were getting ripped off through this system you would see protests daily outside of every Family Court in the country. A man gets ripped off and is told to just "man up and take it".
It's why I really do not want to enter ANY legal relationship with any woman in the US that ties said relationship to the Family Court. It's why I'm not getting married, it's why I will never allow a woman to live with me, and it's why I might not create children AT ALL or if I do, I might create them with a surrogate mother.
Where'd you get these ideas from? Did your mother screw over your father in family court?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1xolisiwe
Why are you so focused on the negative? There are many people who get married and STAY married!
I have a positive outlook on life which is why I'm quite happy to sign a prenup, coz in my head it's null & void because I won't be getting divorced. Try focusing your energy in a more positive direction by telling yourself that yes, the above could happen, but you're going to work hard on your relationship so you don't become another divorce statistic. In the unfortunate event of a divorce, then you would have chosen your partner so carefully that you can have an amicable Childcare arrangement without having to go through family court. There are also some fathers who are awarded custody of their children, but hopefully it won't get to this.
If you keep thinking negatively, then it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy coz your energy isn't going to be spent on building a good relationship, but on trying to avoid getting done over.
While it's true that a couple doesn't have to be legally married to have a family, I think jotucker is going to have a hard time finding a woman who would want to raise a family with someone who keeps her at arms length and has one foot out the door. Not being married doesn't mean people won't get emotionally invested or that your can keep all your toys to yourself. Nobody wants to be taken advantage of, but when it comes to relationships you do have to let your guard down a little.
Agreed! There's being cautious and then there's being pessimistic. Most people don't want to be in a one sided relationship and from what OP has described, it's all about what he wants. If you enter a relationship with an "it's all about me attitude" then I'll spare you the trouble of having to go through it, coz it's already doomed!
I'm not convinced he understands that you can live with a woman and not be legally tied to her. All the reasons (unless I missed it way early in this thread) he posted recently seem to be around fear of Alimony and loosing out in court. May be its not being so negative as much as being cautious. There are quite a few people who went into marriage without caution and ended up in a lifetime of hurt.
I'm fairly frugal (because of the environment I grew up in) while many of my coworkers love to spend money... money comes up a lot during lunch. When I say things like "I don't really need a new watch.. old one even damaged is fine...", many of them see me as being a kill-joy/negative. It really isn't that... it is that I'm hypersensitive to financial risk. Just different perspectives.
I think one can provide a healthy environment for a child that includes a mother and father and excludes marriage.
Not sure why he's' worried about all that stuff when he can't even find women he's interested in dating beyond the first few dates.
I'm not so sure the OP is for real. Alimony issues would be irrelevant if he found someone of his same "station" in life to have a relationship with, i.e. someone in a higher-end job, stable, finances solid, etc. Instead of discussing practical solutions to finding a suitable mate, suddenly he starts pushing the cliche manosphere complaint buttons. And disappears from the thread as soon as someone makes suggestions about how/where to look for the kind of women he's interested in.
So, IMO the OP isn't sincere in his original inquiry, and is just posting to provoke people. He's welcome to return to his thread to prove me wrong.
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