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This subject is near and dear to my heart as a coworker of mine states that she absolutely will not date anyone who is not of her particular race. At first, I ignored this girl as a simple-minded person that obviously has not had enough experiences to see that it is both ignorant and racist to say such a thing. Eventually, after working side by side for the last year, I have fallen in love with her. Unfortunately, I only write this post as a way to vent, because I have tried fruitlessly to win her over. Through hanging out harmlessly as friends she slipped and started to show me affection. Once she realized this she never again agreed to go anywhere with mutual friends if I was present. She admitted to me, through no badgering or instigation from me, that she liked me and that I was a "great guy". Finally ending this one-sided conversation with "anonymous, I would absolutely date you but you are not ______ (her race). Nothing that I have said or done has been able to change that. In the end, I actually left my position because I could no longer bear to work with her. I still think of her every day and wonder what would have happened if she had just followed her heart, instead of this idea that she can't be in an interracial relationship. I do believe that this is absolutely racist. Webster defines racist as "a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race". I think it fits, not only that, but I believe it is the result of parental training. I hope that noone here on this board would ever encourage their children to believe that only people of their race are worthy of dating/marrying. Sorry this post is so long, guess I've got a lot of this on my mind.
I assume you're talking about Black people, well, there are proably plenty of black people who would not want to date a black person who is like that (the gang banger type).
Where I get disappointed is when, for example, white folks say they would not want to date someone like say, Oprah, just because she's black.
Why would you assume it was black people?? Freudian slip??
I wonder about that. I think it is if you take this dictionary definition about discrimination:
Discrimination: the act, practice, or an instance of discriminating categorically rather than individually b: prejudiced or prejudicial outlook, action, or treatment <racial discrimination>.
So when one says I don't want to date anyone of the (fill in the blank) race, which discriminates catergorically as opposed to individually, is that a bigoted action or thought?
A preference for one race is not really a bigoted thought, in my opinion. Again, though a preference, NOT an exclusion towards ones race.
I'm not sure how I feel about the counterpoint that, well, I'm just not attracted to (fill in the blank) people. However, there may have been something negative towards that race in that persons mind to trigger that thought.
It's just my two cents. Curious for answers that stick to just answering the question, does not dating someone of a certain race equal predijuce, bigotry, discrimation in your view?
A preference is not racism. But PC dictates otherwise. I don't care though, I will stick with my own preferences. Nobody controls my choices but me. THAT is freedom to choose.
A preference is not racism. But PC dictates otherwise. I don't care though, I will stick with my own preferences. Nobody controls my choices but me. THAT is freedom to choose.
I agree. If say a black person perfers to date a black person no one thinks twice about it. If a white person says " I perfer to date white people" then it seems to sink into racisim. I think people can't control who they are attracted to. So if say, a white person is attracted to black people then it is what is.
There is a reason why there are sayings like live and let live.
This subject is near and dear to my heart as a coworker of mine states that she absolutely will not date anyone who is not of her particular race. At first, I ignored this girl as a simple-minded person that obviously has not had enough experiences to see that it is both ignorant and racist to say such a thing. Eventually, after working side by side for the last year, I have fallen in love with her. Unfortunately, I only write this post as a way to vent, because I have tried fruitlessly to win her over. Through hanging out harmlessly as friends she slipped and started to show me affection. Once she realized this she never again agreed to go anywhere with mutual friends if I was present. She admitted to me, through no badgering or instigation from me, that she liked me and that I was a "great guy". Finally ending this one-sided conversation with "anonymous, I would absolutely date you but you are not ______ (her race). Nothing that I have said or done has been able to change that. In the end, I actually left my position because I could no longer bear to work with her. I still think of her every day and wonder what would have happened if she had just followed her heart, instead of this idea that she can't be in an interracial relationship. I do believe that this is absolutely racist. Webster defines racist as "a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race". I think it fits, not only that, but I believe it is the result of parental training. I hope that noone here on this board would ever encourage their children to believe that only people of their race are worthy of dating/marrying. Sorry this post is so long, guess I've got a lot of this on my mind.
how sad. if she feels something for you, sh will regret it in the years to come. you will be the one that got away.
I wonder about that. I think it is if you take this dictionary definition about discrimination:
Discrimination: the act, practice, or an instance of discriminating categorically rather than individually b: prejudiced or prejudicial outlook, action, or treatment <racial discrimination>.
So when one says I don't want to date anyone of the (fill in the blank) race, which discriminates catergorically as opposed to individually, is that a bigoted action or thought?
A preference for one race is not really a bigoted thought, in my opinion. Again, though a preference, NOT an exclusion towards ones race.
I'm not sure how I feel about the counterpoint that, well, I'm just not attracted to (fill in the blank) people. However, there may have been something negative towards that race in that persons mind to trigger that thought.
It's just my two cents. Curious for answers that stick to just answering the question, does not dating someone of a certain race equal predijuce, bigotry, discrimation in your view?
Excuse me? So, the fact that I'm not physically attracted to a black woman, that makes me a racist?
If we're going by that logic, I'm a homophobe because I'm not sexually attracted to a gay man.
There's nothing negative that went on in my life between black people and I, I just don't find black women attractive in a romantic way. I can appreciate their beauty, but that doesn't mean I want to be in a relationship with one. That's my preference, and I don't see why that should be considered wrong in any sense.
I mean, why aren't you calling out straight folks for not being attracted to the same sex? Like I said, that's the same logic you're operating by. How about leaving people to their own damn business?
This subject is near and dear to my heart as a coworker of mine states that she absolutely will not date anyone who is not of her particular race. At first, I ignored this girl as a simple-minded person that obviously has not had enough experiences to see that it is both ignorant and racist to say such a thing. Eventually, after working side by side for the last year, I have fallen in love with her. Unfortunately, I only write this post as a way to vent, because I have tried fruitlessly to win her over. Through hanging out harmlessly as friends she slipped and started to show me affection. Once she realized this she never again agreed to go anywhere with mutual friends if I was present. She admitted to me, through no badgering or instigation from me, that she liked me and that I was a "great guy". Finally ending this one-sided conversation with "anonymous, I would absolutely date you but you are not ______ (her race). Nothing that I have said or done has been able to change that. In the end, I actually left my position because I could no longer bear to work with her. I still think of her every day and wonder what would have happened if she had just followed her heart, instead of this idea that she can't be in an interracial relationship. I do believe that this is absolutely racist. Webster defines racist as "a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race". I think it fits, not only that, but I believe it is the result of parental training. I hope that noone here on this board would ever encourage their children to believe that only people of their race are worthy of dating/marrying. Sorry this post is so long, guess I've got a lot of this on my mind.
What if I PREFER a certain group over any others? Is it discrimination. Probably. But is it racism? I think not. I'm a white guy. I have an attraction, a preference for Latinas. My first girlfriend was Latina...but she was the ONLY one I dated. So, even though I have this attraction, I've not dated inside the preferred group.
I'm a black guy and I find white women more attractive. Does that mean I'm a racist or a self-hater? Is that discrimination? I've always prefered non-black women.
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Broken Hearted
