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As I and others have asked - have you told him you love him? If not, why does he have to be the first to say it? And I don't agree that 6-9 months is necessarily a long enough time for him to say the "L" word. If he's been hurt before, it would be very scary for him.
In his last relationship, the one where the girl repeatedly hurt him, he said "I love you" within the first month.
I haven't said I love you because he was the one who insisted from the start that we take it slow. So the way I see it, the onus is on him to say the words first because if I were to say it first, I would feel like I was rushing him or pressuring him.
I agree that actions speak louder than words. And I certainly appreciate that he is loving to me in deed rather than being someone who says "I love you" but treats me like ****. That said, I still need to hear the words. If someone is not saying "I love you," it does beg the question, "Why???"
It boggles me that a couple can't talk these things out and have to ask other people. Sigh. It seems, people have lost the ability to communicate these days
It boggles me that a couple can't talk these things out and have to ask other people. Sigh. It seems, people have lost the ability to communicate these days
I communicate with him about every issue I have. But "I love you" is something I want him to say to me without me having to communicate to him first my need to hear it.
And how does someone talk about it anyway? "Hey, you haven't said I love you. Why? When are you going to say it?" That sounds manipulative, almost.
He is not comfortable with saying it yet!! Obviously. For God's sake don't go saying anything to him about it. The guy is nice to you, treats you well, and now has introduced you to his family. He seems to like you, just taking his time. Leave it alone unless you want to mess things up.
I communicate with him about every issue I have. But "I love you" is something I want him to say to me without me having to communicate to him first my need to hear it.
And how does someone talk about it anyway? "Hey, you haven't said I love you. Why? When are you going to say it?" That sounds manipulative, almost.
But you love him right? Are you being direct and telling him that?
A guy is a moron if his girl tells him she loves him and he doesn't get the hint.
I communicate with him about every issue I have. But "I love you" is something I want him to say to me without me having to communicate to him first my need to hear it.
And how does someone talk about it anyway? "Hey, you haven't said I love you. Why? When are you going to say it?" That sounds manipulative, almost.
Well, then the way I see it it is that you need to sit down and talk to him. Tell him that you understand his need to take things slowly but that you are in love with him and need to know whether he thinks he can/does reciprocate those feelings. If he says no - you have your answer. If he says "I don't know yet" that is also an answer. If he can assure you that he is close to having those feelings - then proceed with caution and agree on a time in the near future (say- 3 months) to revisit the conversation. It can't hurt for him to know that you love him, but will not wait forever for him to love you back. It's standing up for yourself and not letting him always dictate the conditions of the relationship. If you need to move on - he needs to know that you will after a respectable period of time.
I communicate with him about every issue I have. But "I love you" is something I want him to say to me without me having to communicate to him first my need to hear it.
And how does someone talk about it anyway? "Hey, you haven't said I love you. Why? When are you going to say it?" That sounds manipulative, almost.
He could very well go on for years without saying it; what then? If you're unhappy about the situation....you need to speak up. Expecting things to magically happen without say isn't going cut it in a relationship.
In a sincere tone: "Hey Hun? Do you love me???" (If yes) "how come you haven't said it?"
He could very well go on for years without saying it; what then? If you're unhappy about the situation....you need to speak up. Expecting things to magically happen without say isn't going cut it in a relationship.
In a sincere tone: "Hey Hun? Do you love me???" (If yes) "how come you haven't said it?"
See....simple
Oh, god. That doesn't sound so simple! I'm gonna have an anxiety attack. 🙊
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