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Dude I am telling you it all comes out in the wash.
Which is more likely to meet someone who is physically dangerous to them while trying to date, men or women?
Is it more heartbreaking to be treated like a sucker and used for sex and then dumped when you feel something for someone, or to be told "no thanks" right off, and not waste time getting all invested?
I'm assuming here that all of this is you being grumpy about your own circumstances. And you know why you're not attractive, no matter WHAT you look like? It's because you try awfully hard to place blame for your problems on others, and you have a fatalistic and negative outlook if your line of reasoning here is any indication. I've never seen your face in my life, but I wouldn't go on a date with you if you looked like Brad Pitt (even "Legends of the Fall" Brad Pitt!) I feel like you'd spend too much time complaining about other people and that you would be way too transactional about a relationship, and completely have no interest in knowing me as a person...and you come off as incredibly shallow and superficial.
I'm not saying you'd want to date my "average" self anyways, I'm just trying to make a point here. I would love if ANY woman would reply and contradict me. Ladies? If Jersey4Life were YOUR idea of visually super sexy, given the things he has said here, would you date him just because he's good looking? Anyone? Let's start a poll! Get some data!
Oh, and that is exactly why Zeta Jones is the PERFECT example. She didn't need a man for his money, she could have picked a much hotter guy from among her Hollywood cronies, WHY DID SHE CHOOSE MICHAEL DOUGLAS? I'm betting it's his personality.
It's not a great example because she's famous & wealthy herself. Famous people marry other famous people except for some exceptions.
And I'm just basing everything on what I've seen & heard. I see what goes on with social media & how a lot of women these days go on instagram & facebook seeking attention & literally have thousands upon thousands of followers that constantly tell her how beautiful she looks. Social media has changed the way a lot of women's perceptions & expectations of dating are these days. What woman who gets constant attention from a lot of men online, is going to choose a man that she feels is beneath her? It's made for a very bad dating landscape. It's not just me stating this. Go look online & do research on social media in dating & how it's changed things. And I want to add, of course it's not all women like this, but it's a lot of them that are like this these days.
And I also don't appreciate you trying to get personal with me in your post. Says a lot for you to even go there.
It's not a great example because she's famous & wealthy herself. Famous people marry other famous people except for some exceptions.
And I'm just basing everything on what I've seen & heard. I see what goes on with social media & how a lot of women these days go on instagram & facebook seeking attention & literally have thousands upon thousands of followers that constantly tell her how beautiful she looks. Social media has changed the way a lot of women's perceptions & expectations of dating are these days. What woman who gets constant attention from a lot of men online, is going to choose a man that she feels is beneath her? It's made for a very bad dating landscape. It's not just me stating this. Go look online & do research on social media in dating & how it's changed things. And I want to add, of course it's not all women like this, but it's a lot of them that are like this these days.
I am very active on Facebook, and I don't see this.
Because I don't have friends who are shallow and superficial. I have friends who are weirdos, punks, horror and sci fi geeks, artists, musicians, and writers. One of the fattest men I've ever personally known, who used to be a very close friend of mine, married a beautiful woman. Granted. She had kids before him (which is a good thing for him, he loves kids and can't have his own I don't think) and she's had some issues with alcoholism, and she was poor when they met. He isn't rich but he helped her get a good job.
The point is though, she had guys in her life who might have been better looking than my friend. Guess what? They didn't STAY. I was married for 18 years to a guy who considers himself ugly. His looks never mattered to me. I had his kids and built a life with him simply because he STAYED. Decent looking women can get a guy to come over and give her sex, but to keep one coming back and sticking around in her life...that can be difficult.
And if all you see is people sorting the beautiful from the "average" or "unattractive" then I feel sorry for you and for your friends, but it sounds like you're in the right company. Just know there's a whole world of people...probably outside of New Jersey...who have more substance than that.
Kinda explains the whole "Jersey Shore" thing a little, though.
And I'm just basing everything on what I've seen & heard. I see what goes on with social media & how a lot of women these days go on instagram & facebook seeking attention & literally have thousands upon thousands of followers that constantly tell her how beautiful she looks. Social media has changed the way a lot of women's perceptions & expectations of dating are these days. What woman who gets constant attention from a lot of men online, is going to choose a man that she feels is beneath her? It's made for a very bad dating landscape. It's not just me stating this. Go look online & do research on social media in dating & how it's changed things. And I want to add, of course it's not all women like this, but it's a lot of them that are like this these days.
But if this is what you're looking at, your sample is already biased. You're not seeing the women who don't feel confident enough to do online dating because they aren't on there. You're not seeing the women who don't post pictures of themselves on Instagram because they're not on there. You're not seeing the women who don't put on short, tight outfits and hang out in nightclubs because they're not there. Of course the women who put themselves out there to get attention are getting attention, but that's by no means what most or the majority of women are doing.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 10-08-2015 at 03:16 PM..
How many times are guys going to ask these types of questions before they stop with their baloney stereotyping?
I learned this a very long time ago, when I was in the military, surrounded by guys of all looks, shapes, and sizes.
New guy comes in. Dang, he's good looking! At first, he's also funny because I think, "daaang, he's good looking". But then, as time goes on, you realize he's a one trick pony with the one liners, and the more he speaks, the uglier he gets because he actually is NOT a nice person at all.
Then there's the nerd who no one pays attention to. You realize that you have a common interest, and while you're not actually 'interested' in them, what the heck, make a new friend. So you go and do that common interest, and as time goes on, and he keeps talking, you realize that, "daaaang, he's actually good looking".
I don't know how many times we have to tell you guys: It's NOT the "hottest" guys, nor their stupid wallets, that matter. It's the person that matters. It really is.
This is spot on. The "nerd who no one pays attention to" was a guy that I met at work sometime in the late 1970s. He was tall but awkward and self-conscious, portly, bald, average-looking, wore thick glasses, dressed badly and had a shy, sad sack aura about him. I had been paired up with him for a project one time and thought that he was very nice, easy to work with and would occasionally make me laugh, but that's as far as it went. He was completely opposite of what I thought I wanted in a man.
I didn't know it then, but my nerdy co-worker was unhappily married. His wife and he were leading separate lives, she spent his money but treated him poorly, and he was terribly lonely. I was about to be married to a minor local celebrity, a former newspaper society columnist who had a drinking problem and would later abuse me emotionally because he was unhappy after being demoted.
Fast forward to today. That shy, awkward bald guy has been my husband for 29 years. Along the way I encouraged him to upgrade his wardrobe, get a more flattering haircut and ditch his too-small, dark-framed glasses for a style that suits his face. He is much handsomer in my eyes now, at age 75, then he was when he was in his 40s. But it's not just the style makeover. Being happy and loved also did wonders for his looks.
But if this is what you're looking at, your sample is already biased. You're not seeing the women who don't feel confident enough to do online dating. You're not seeing the women who don't post pictures of themselves on Instagram. You're not seeing the women who don't put on short, tight outfits and hang out in nightclubs. Of course the women who put themselves out there to get attention are getting attention, but that's by no means what most or the majority of women are doing.
Exactly. And I feel like people that think this way basically think, "If women have a hard time dating - it's their own fault. If men have a hard time dating - it's the fault of women." In reality, every person is unique and every person's situation is unique. Men that want the "hot woman" as a status symbol are missing out on as much as women that want a sugar daddy. I would guess that the happiest people are people that are in relationships based on mutual attraction and compatibility - which is based on the whole person - not just one aspect of them.
But if this is what you're looking at, your sample is already biased. You're not seeing the women who don't feel confident enough to do online dating. You're not seeing the women who don't post pictures of themselves on Instagram. You're not seeing the women who don't put on short, tight outfits and hang out in nightclubs. Of course the women who put themselves out there to get attention are getting attention, but that's by no means what most or the majority of women are doing.
Social Media just make things more difficult to find someone these days. If I were dating someone & found out she was even a little obsessed with instagram & facebook, that would be an instant turn off.
Social Media just make things more difficult to find someone these days. If I were dating someone & found out she was even a little obsessed with instagram & facebook, that would be an instant turn off.
Exactly. And I feel like people that think this way basically think, "If women have a hard time dating - it's their own fault. If men have a hard time dating - it's the fault of women." In reality, every person is unique and every person's situation is unique. Men that want the "hot woman" as a status symbol are missing out on as much as women that want a sugar daddy. I would guess that the happiest people are people that are in relationships based on mutual attraction and compatibility - which is based on the whole person - not just one aspect of them.
I don't think men want a hot woman for status. Most men just want to be with the most attractive woman they can get with.
I don't think men want a hot woman for status. Most men just want to be with the most attractive woman they can get with.
Why? So, if you have someone that is very attractive, and someone MORE attractive comes along - do you drop the first woman for the second? There is always going to be someone MORE attractive - but there isn't always going to be someone that you are more attracted to.
Why? So, if you have someone that is very attractive, and someone MORE attractive comes along - do you drop the first woman for the second? There is always going to be someone MORE attractive - but there isn't always going to be someone that you are more attracted to.
Not at all, I'm just stating that a lot of guys want to be with someone that's attractive. Not that they'll dump their g/f to get with someone more attractive, that's ridiculous.
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