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But she's not? I like her, but she's not very pretty. I hate it when she asks me this because if I tell her she's pretty, that's a lie. If I don't, then I know her feelings will get hurt.
I have always answered that honestly. It just makes for good character building to always be open and honest, especially in relationships. If the gal she's referring to is ugly, just say "She's not at all attractive". If the gal she's referring to is attractive, then just say "Yes, she IS attractive". If your girlfriend (or any other woman) has a problem with you and your honesty, then its THEIR emotional self esteem issues that they need to work through.
True story: I had an ex girlfriend who asked me that question about this random chick we saw at a restaurant. The girl was very pretty so I answered "Yes, she's a very attractive girl". Then, because of her "issues" everything spiraled out of control from there. She then asked "Oh, so do you want to F*** her!", to that my response was "What?!", She said "Oh, she's so hot, do you want to f*** her? Go on, ask her.......".
And thank god for that crazy outburst because I let me know to get away from that crazy psycho you-know-what!!
But she's not? I like her, but she's not very pretty. I hate it when she asks me this because if I tell her she's pretty, that's a lie. If I don't, then I know her feelings will get hurt.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, to if she's beautiful to you, she's beautiful. Besides, I've noticed that even the most homely women actually look quite beautiful after adding a little bit here and a little bit there with make-up. Finally, how she feels about herself is the deal maker - if she feels beautiful, she will have a bounce in her step, hold her head high, and feel good about herself. The more you can do to build each other, the better.
If she's not pretty, she knows it. Sometimes pretty girls will not realize they are pretty, but if someone is not pretty and asking, she already knows. Most people have attractive qualities, though, which is why the planet has 7 billion people on it. The fact that your girlfriend keeps asking seems to indicate she is unconvinced by your prior answers (which makes sense since she is not pretty and knows it). What do you find attractive about her? Start there. Think about how you'd like her to answer if, for instance, you were rather underendowed and very self-conscious about it. There's more ways to reassure someone than "Don't worry, honey, you're enormous!"
Hm, why are you with her if you don't find her pretty at all? You don't have to think your significant other is hot, but there should still be some physical attraction there...
Hm, why are you with her if you don't find her pretty at all? You don't have to think your significant other is hot, but there should still be some physical attraction there...
But she's not? I like her, but she's not very pretty. I hate it when she asks me this because if I tell her she's pretty, that's a lie. If I don't, then I know her feelings will get hurt.
Some people get a little ridiculous with the subject of 'honesty.' Even if you think she is, and you reply "No, you're an ugly fat cow," don't claim she 'has issues' if she's not o.k. with it.
Instead, try the approach known as being tactful- you should be able to find at least one characteristic you like, so compliment her on that. She'll understand your opinion, and at the same time not feel badly about herself.
If she's not pretty, she knows it. Sometimes pretty girls will not realize they are pretty, but if someone is not pretty and asking, she already knows. Most people have attractive qualities, though, which is why the planet has 7 billion people on it. The fact that your girlfriend keeps asking seems to indicate she is unconvinced by your prior answers (which makes sense since she is not pretty and knows it). What do you find attractive about her? Start there. Think about how you'd like her to answer if, for instance, you were rather underendowed and very self-conscious about it. There's more ways to reassure someone than "Don't worry, honey, you're enormous!"
I agree that, if she's asking, she's pretty confident the answer is no.
I'm very blunt in general but there are times when extra tact is beneficial. This would be one of those times. I don't think you should respond so enthusiastically it's as if you're answering Jessica Biel when she asks you the same question but saying no or insulting her looks may not be the best move.
Maybe you could give a positive/affirmative answer and then move on to the next topics. This is not something I'd recommend expanding on when it comes up.
Quit wasting her time and let her find somebody who loves her and thinks she is beautiful.
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