Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Apparently, I wasn't clear in my writing. She should not wear headphones/earbuds. She wants men to approach. Men are disinclined to approach wearers of headphones/earbuds. If she is there without headphones/earbuds, men will be more likely to approach.
How about a group class of some sort? When I do Krav Maga I get people making chit chat whether I want them to or not .
From the male perspective, group fitness classes are a workaround of the prototypical gym earbud/headphone problem. Women will not be wearing earbuds/headphones in classes. Many fitness classes have more females than males in them, which is the opposite of bars/nightclubs.
For the OP, if she looks good and gives off a warm, welcoming attitude, she will be approached in a fitness class by a motivated single male if he's there.
From the male perspective, group fitness classes are a workaround of the prototypical gym earbud/headphone problem. Women will not be wearing earbuds/headphones in classes. Many fitness classes have more females than males in them, which is the opposite of bars/nightclubs.
For the OP, if she looks good and gives off a warm, welcoming attitude, she will be approached in a fitness class by a motivated single male if he's there.
Oh, I don't wear headphones but I haven't taken any fitness classes. Is that why I haven't been approached at the gym yet? Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that I hardly ever go.
From the male perspective, group fitness classes are a workaround of the prototypical gym earbud/headphone problem. Women will not be wearing earbuds/headphones in classes. Many fitness classes have more females than males in them, which is the opposite of bars/nightclubs.
For the OP, if she looks good and gives off a warm, welcoming attitude, she will be approached in a fitness class by a motivated single male if he's there.
That is a very good observation.
In a gym I've only once done a group class and that was a spin class ( nearly broke my leg lol ) but in Krav Maga and any self defence discipline there are mostly men
It's more than likely not your scene OP but it's unfortunately the best idea I had
OP is not getting a boob job. She was kind of secretly hoping that people would support that as a solution because it absolves her of any "fault" ("it's not me, it's my small boobs!") It's no different than "resting ***** face" or "not being rich" or any of the other things that we want to place blame on for our lack of dating success other than ACTUALLY ADDRESSING OUR LACK OF DATING SUCCESS.
To those questioning the legitimacy of the OP: She's real. Not only are people too quick to assume "it's a fake!" around here, but the OP's thoughts and sentiments echo probably half of the single women I know....I hear the same things in person CONSTANTLY. It's twice as bad on Facebook, but if you use it, you knew that already.
OP: As others have said, it starts with YOU. Would bigger boobs get you attention? Yep. So would smiling, flirting, talking to more men....and all those things are free, and don't hurt.
Re: the OP's figure. More of the men in my circle prefer figures like the OP's than curvier frames (note: I am not included in this, I love curves). Others have mentioned it as well, but being thin is NOT hurting your chances with men.
I really do want breast implants, but the more research I conduct, the more I'm realizing that I would probably develop capsular contraction (hardening around the implant), because my body is very sensitive. I can only imagine how my body would respond to a foreign object, like an implant. Through my research, I've learned that very sensitive bodies have a much higher probability of developing capsular contraction. I really like the shape and feel of my breasts, so this would be a major problem, if after the surgery they became rock hard. The mere thought of this happening is reason enough for me to forego the implants.
On another note, maybe it's just bad luck, but I tend to have negative experiences when I smile at random people.
A week ago, I was on the train and my laptop case was leaning against the side of my body. A random guy asked if it was ok for him to sit down. He seemed pleasant, but I noticed he wasn't tall. Anyhow, I said "sure" and smiled, before quickly moving my bag further against me (so that it only took up my seat area). Long story short, a few minutes later, I noticed that he was actually resting his arm on my laptop case. I looked down a few times to kind of signal that it was not ok for him to do this and finally he said, "I hope you don't mind but your laptop case is very comfortable."
At that moment, the train stopped and I quickly grabbed my belongings and exited. It was rude behavior on his part to rest his arm on my laptop case, but I kind of felt like he did it because I smiled.
My reaction was odd, because I should have just said something, instead of deciding to exit the train, before my actual stop. How awkward.
Apparently, I wasn't clear in my writing. She should not wear headphones/earbuds. She wants men to approach. Men are disinclined to approach wearers of headphones/earbuds. If she is there without headphones/earbuds, men will be more likely to approach.
I'd love to go without my headphones, but I prefer working out while listening to my favorite songs. I am thinking that maybe If I see someone of interest, I can smile more.
I'd love to go without my headphones, but I prefer working out while listening to my favorite songs. I am thinking that maybe If I see someone of interest, I can smile more.
Smiling is a good start. But I do not think it will be enough. Take off the headphones. This is a small adjustment you can make that isn't that much of a sacrifice. Gyms usually have their own music playing and it's passable. There was a male poster on here all the time that rejected every suggestion that we made of him to improve his situation. Don't veto this one because in the scheme of things, it is a small suggestion.
My issue is I have no experience and I don't exude any sexual appeal. I am 5'4, 117 lbs. I am thin and lack curves, (this is the biggest problem with my body). I have thought about breast augmentation, to possibly boost my chances of attracting more attention.
Please don't get a boob job. Any man who looks at you and thinks that you're not attractive but would be if you were only one or two cup sizes larger isn't a man who is worth attracting.
Smiling is a good start. But I do not think it will be enough. Take off the headphones. This is a small adjustment you can make that isn't that much of a sacrifice. Gyms usually have their own music playing and it's passable. There was a male poster on here all the time that rejected every suggestion that we made of him to improve his situation. Don't veto this one because in the scheme of things, it is a small suggestion.
Giving up my music would be a huge sacrifice for me! I think making eye contact and smiling is enough to counteract wearing headphones. She can always take them off if she's sees him come over.
Giving up my music would be a huge sacrifice for me! I think making eye contact and smiling is enough to counteract wearing headphones. She can always take them off if she's sees him come over.
He might not come over with the headphones. And that's not even the case of a timid guy. Headphones give off a "don't interact with me" vibe. I'll agree that eye contact and smiling is good, and you're enhancing the chance of an interaction, but why chance it? Eye contact and smiling is actually becoming less common. Doing anything possible to encourage interaction is great. I think she should at least give the no headphones/earbuds thing a chance before immediate dismissal. She needs to shake things up because what she is doing is not working. To meet new people, one needs to get out of their comfort zone, and this is part of getting out of a comfort zone.
At every gym I've been to, men wear headphones/earbuds to the gym much less than women do. Often times, men are totally fine with whatever music the gym plays. I've never worn headphones/earbuds to the gym in my life.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
How awkward.
