Fear is what holding me back of wanting to be in a relationship

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

I never admitted this to anyone IRL. Not even to my sister. We just don't talk about relationship issues. I'm afraid that a guy that I decide to get serious with will turn abusive & becomes difficult to leave the relationship. And no, I was never in an abusive relationship. If I brought this fear up on a date, will guys think I'm crazy and run for the hills?
I grew up in a stable environment with my parents and younger siblings. My parents were never abusive towards each other. So, I don't know where I get this fear from???

So you are holding yourself back for some unsubstantiated fear of something you have never experienced?

If you want to live your life by "what if" carry on as you are, otherwise change things. YOUR choice.

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by 1xolisiwe

So why not focus your attention on relationships that are good? Spend time with happy couples. Speak to people in long term happy relationships. If you keep feeding your fear, then it just keeps growing & the type of guy you're trying to avoid is quite adept at picking out wounded birds.

How would a guy know that I am a wounded bird?

Originally Posted by jade408

I have had so many female relatives that were in abusive relationships. Lots and lots. I hope I am good at recognizing the signals if it happens to me.

The signs are good to know but I just hope I'm not blinded by love to see them

Originally Posted by CSD610

So you are holding yourself back for some unsubstantiated fear of something you have never experienced?

If you want to live your life by "what if" carry on as you are, otherwise change things. YOUR choice.

yeah, strange. I always been a cautious person

[1xolisiwe]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

How would a guy know that I am a wounded bird?

Very likely from the things you say. Abusive men usually don't start by being a--holes. They gradually break you down. Maybe you should see someone to explore why you are so negative coz most people are aware of the pitfalls of being in love but not to that extent.