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Yes. And you seem to recognize this. Why is it you can't recognize when a man is unavailable BEFORE you spend months bending over backwards for, and catering to, them?
I am SURE some of these men you dated gave some obvious clues that they were not going to be able to give you what you wanted.
Why do you need to waste time on badly matched men, or have something bad happen before you see "I don't need to deal with this guy?"
Like the crazy ex you have a baby with. Surely he showed some signs that he was crazy, dangerous or didn't really love you before you got pregnant by him. Is this the one you wanted to marry, and he tossed you his card, and told you, with attitude, to just go get a ring? That would have told many women right there to ditch the guy, rather than go through with a marriage. Now if this is a different guy, then sorry. But the point still stands.
The last man you dated. He was still married, even if separated, and recently come off a relationship with another woman he was engaged to. yet you thought it was appropriate to date him, and let him camp out in your house with all his stuff, thinking he'd readily commit to a serious relationship with marriage for you? Many in the thread about him warned you it was not a good idea, and possibly not going to work. But you made every excuse in the book for him, and look how that worked out. Another guy you wasted your own time on.
This guy. You stated how he's set in his ways, doesn't want to move, etc. If this man is such a long-term friend, thus couldn't have been new stuff you just discovered about him. You weren't going to live with him, as you hate his father is around. But you know he's complacent, and doesn't want to leave his home. So where were you going with this? Even if you marry but don't live together, things would be no different than now - just a paper you have in the mix.
You need to become more aware and see red flags up front, As opposed to, dating the bad guys and having to walk away. Your problem is you're so desperate, that even when you see red flags, you make excuses for them and try to explain them away so you can date the guy anyhow, hoping he's gonna be the one. And clearly, he never is.
Married guy was separated for 8 years... He did divorce while we were together.
Married guy was separated for 8 years... He did divorce while we were together.
They all have red flags.
It makes no difference. He was still not completely divorced. And was enraged to another woman since then that he came out of a relationship with.
Everyone has flaws, definitely. But clearly you're over-looking huge stuff, and it's gotten you nowhere, except extra trouble. Crazy exes trying to murder you to get out of child support. Men camping out on your couch, and possibly sleeping with other women. And a current man who wants you to make effort to see him, but not bring your pets or children.
Not all men are emotionally unavailable, users, or crazy. Yet you treat these red-flags as normal everyday issues. They're not. These types of men are fine for flings, but you claim you don't want that.
But really, you seem fine to argue against everything anyone says, and make excuses. So why bother with making the threads? If you know everything and have it all worked out, why ask people about it? Don't ask questions if you have all the answers. If you don't have all the answers, and want to ask, you could at least try listening to what some people tell you. because clearly your way isn't working, since you're still single, and dating unavailable men, and bitter over what other people get.
And I am not trying to be mean. I am genuinely curious? Why do you ask questions, but then never take anything anyone says to heart, and make excuses against everything? Is it amusement? Boredom? Mental Illness?
I can't keep all of your stories and information correct in the various threads you've started over many months, but isn't this latest guy one who can't even be bothered to come over to your house?? That all he wanted was for you to go visit him.
Men that are hot for a woman and into them don't act this way. At your age you should know this and while I'm actually trying to not pick on you, you really need to give this guy a think......
They might act this way when they are involved with a woman who, admittedly, is not really into sex. For a guy, having a woman who really likes to have sex with him is one of the ways that he feels loved. I can see why a guy with a woman who is not really that into it would be pretty lukewarm ..
I found financing for tenant so we are making it work.
I think the other situation is resolving itself also. I think we will just be ending things. Hopefully someday soon a guy with no red flags and undamaged will enter my life.
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Never count LOL out - she always bounces back...and will never stay down as long as she has a breath in her body to deny, retort, or correct anyone who tries to give advice.
Id like to know who is giving someone with bad credit, and Id assume little or nothing to put down, a mortgage to buy a house. Hopefully the OP isnt doing this financing herself.
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