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Except, as I and many other women have stated on this forum, in a one night stand the man has ZERO incentive to see that the woman enjoys her time, and the woman has ZERO guarantee that she will enjoy it. In a ONS I have no way of knowing if the guy is going to pound away for five minutes (or less!), get off, and then roll over and go to sleep or get up and leave. So if that happens, what did I just get? Absolutely nothing. NOTHING.
Why on earth would I take that chance, when I can wait for an actual relationship with someone and we can feel each other out sexually (making out, talking) before choosing to take the plunge?
Except, as I and many other women have stated on this forum, in a one night stand the man has ZERO incentive to see that the woman enjoys her time, and the woman has ZERO guarantee that she will enjoy it. In a ONS I have no way of knowing if the guy is going to pound away for five minutes (or less!), get off, and then roll over and go to sleep or get up and leave. So if that happens, what did I just get? Absolutely nothing. NOTHING.
Why on earth would I take that chance, when I can wait for an actual relationship with someone and we can feel each other out sexually (making out, talking) before choosing to take the plunge?
I'll wait, thank you very much.
LOL...pun intended??
I agree with what you posted because when I was young and stupid, I was just about getting mine and most women, 2/3 I think, I don't have the Kinsey report in front of me so I'm not sure if I'm getting those numbers wrong, don't have "O's" with the "slam bam thank you mam" approach.
Except, as I and many other women have stated on this forum, in a one night stand the man has ZERO incentive to see that the woman enjoys her time, and the woman has ZERO guarantee that she will enjoy it. In a ONS I have no way of knowing if the guy is going to pound away for five minutes (or less!), get off, and then roll over and go to sleep or get up and leave. So if that happens, what did I just get? Absolutely nothing. NOTHING.
Why on earth would I take that chance, when I can wait for an actual relationship with someone and we can feel each other out sexually (making out, talking) before choosing to take the plunge?
I'll wait, thank you very much.
I agree.
People can argue about this topic until they are blue in the face and still not agree with one another. Neither view on sex is right or wrong. I don't see the problem with waiting and I don't see the problem with having casual sex either. My personal preference is waiting. I'm not really interested in having "variety" and in order for me to be sexually attracted to someone, I have like them. In my experience, some people I have encountered talk about how they would "bang this one and that one" and I sit there and I am like "how?"
I don't really understand how they could feel that way just by looking at someone. However, I don't really say anything about it. I just observe. My beliefs and values out weigh any frustrations (which I don't really have.) As I stated before it all comes down to the person's CORE beliefs and self. If two people's beliefs are incompatible with one another, then they don't need to be together. Period. People should just do what makes them feel comfortable.
I've done it to, and yes, it was in effect boredom, but for one particular reason... there wasn't more than it than sex. Even with a FB, you have to atleast like being around the person and have them be interesting to talk to be willing to keep hanging out with them. If it is really JUST sex, unless it is infrequent (scratching an itch once a month or so) there has to be something else, otherwise it gets boring, even if it is super hot. Sex is about making connections.
You got it. If it's not more than just sex it gets boring if you have it too frequently, because it will ultimately feel like DATING or a RELATIONSHIP.
You got it. If it's not more than just sex it gets boring if you have it too frequently, because it will ultimately feel like DATING or a RELATIONSHIP.
When I was in my late teens and early 20s I thought that sex and relationships were 100% linked and everything else was a bad idea, but now in my 30s ... I am starting to agree that sex certainly has the potenital to be better in a relationship, but it can get old and repetative with anyone unless you make efforts to keep it interesting. I can honestly say there are certain people you only have physical chemistery with and really can't stand outside of non-physical way. I shamefully admit there are certain people I have date and only made out with them so I did not have to talk with them for the rest of the night because we were having the WORSE conversations otherwise. A good relationship is a balance of both. I totally think you can have great sexual experiences with someone, but not be compatable for a real relationship. If you are involved in a FB situation, it is probably better to get the terms of the situation clear before the other person start's picky out wedding dates and baby names. You both need to be on the same page or someone is going to get hurt.
When I was in my late teens and early 20s I thought that sex and relationships were 100% linked and everything else was a bad idea, but now in my 30s ... I am starting to agree that sex certainly has the potenital to be better in a relationship, but it can get old and repetative with anyone unless you make efforts to keep it interesting. I can honestly say there are certain people you only have physical chemistery with and really can't stand outside of non-physical way. I shamefully admit there are certain people I have date and only made out with them so I did not have to talk with them for the rest of the night because we were having the WORSE conversations otherwise. A good relationship is a balance of both. I totally think you can have great sexual experiences with someone, but not be compatable for a real relationship. If you are involved in a FB situation, it is probably better to get the terms of the situation clear before the other person start's picky out wedding dates and baby names. You both need to be on the same page or someone is going to get hurt.
That is one of the strangest things I've ever seen on CD.....
That is one of the strangest things I've ever seen on CD.....
Agree. I cannot imagine making out with someone just to keep from talking to them. In my opinion, sex is not worth it unless feelings are involved. I have to care about someone in order to be vulnerable enough to sleep with them. Not everyone is the same, but that is how I feel. It also makes the whole experience better. If I didn't have someone I cared about, I would rather just wait. Yes, sex is easy to get, but the feeling of making love is not and that is what I care about in this stage of my life.
I think a part of the problem is that MANY guys are "one trick ponies" meaning that they have a routine that they like, that gets them off reliably and they feel no need to ever change it.
Or they give a woman one screaming O and think that is the surefire way to get her there and that's all they do. My last BF was that. I finally had to say the "magic position" was losing some of its magic because it was predictable. He needed to do something else with his wand once in a while.
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if you're into that kind of thing
Emotional evolution in the wrong way …
