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I could really do with some advice on this issue please. It's eating me up inside! Sorry it's a bit long but please bear with me.
Let me try and paint you a picture:
So I've known this girl (chloe) for about 4/5 years. We started as really good mates, which soon became **** buddies.. it was great, but after a while I decided to stop which caused massive arguments. For the next 2 years we are arguing a lot. It's a very hostile relationship but we stay friends.
Early 2013, I meet one of her friends (rosey). We get along well. I try and pursue things with her which initially, chloe actively encourages however it eventually becomes apparent that she is very jealous and sabotages the relationship, leaving me very bitter and resentful.
In the summer of 2013 she starts seeing this guy (by the way I am housemates with the girl at this point and have been since before we became **** buddies) at the start of them seeing each other I thought I was ok with it but clearly I wasn't. Bear in mind that it was all happening under my own roof which made matters a lot worse.
So anyway I tried to hide my feelings of jealousy because I felt it would have been very hypocritical and selfish of me to say or do anything about it, especially after what had happened earlier in the year. However the inevitable happened and she found out. We stated banging again. Other guy out of the picture..
We eventually stop again. Various attempts made by me to hook up with other girls seem, from my point of view, to be met by jealous behaviour from her. I am constantly asking her if she has feelings for me which she always angrily denies!
I end up hooking up with another girl. In a particularly hostile night, we are all at a pub/club and I am going back with this girl. Chloe is very upset, I am not very thoughtful or caring in my actions at all. She finally says she has feelings for me in a heated exchange outside the pub. I am angry because she had always denied and even got frustrated with me when I asked her if she did, so I leave with the girl.
As it turns out I'm not that into this new girl. It fizzles out fairly quickly (still very good friends). Next couple years me and Chloe are still friends but it's on and off. Arguments Still occurring. We didn't see each other at all for a period.
HOWEVER recently (past few months) it's been great. As friends. We've been like our old selves. She's seeing guys and it seems I'm genuinely ok with that. By the way we understandably don't live together any more. But she had some issues with her landlord so we invited her to stay for a month before she has to go back home temporarily.
Now yesterday she invited her bloke round to cook for us. And for **** sake I feel jealous again! He seems like a nice guy, but I just can't act like myself. I had to get out of the house! It's horrible! Right now I've bloody driven out to Southend! Just to get away for a bit.
My question Is am I just being a selfish jealous bastard that only wants what he can't have!? Or do i actually like her? I dont know what to do. Im worried mentioning it will bring up all this **** from the past. At the same time she always seems to hint at us ****ing again (even tried it on the other night)to which I have been reluctant.
Please help me out. I know it may seem like a trivial thing but it really is screwing with my mind.
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I could really do with some advice on this issue please. It's eating me up inside! Sorry it's a bit long but please bear with me.
Let me try and paint you a picture:
So I've known this girl (chloe) for about 4/5 years. We started as really good mates, which soon became **** buddies.. it was great, but after a while I decided to stop which caused massive arguments. For the next 2 years we are arguing a lot. It's a very hostile relationship but we stay friends.
Early 2013, I meet one of her friends (rosey). We get along well. I try and pursue things with her which initially, chloe actively encourages however it eventually becomes apparent that she is very jealous and sabotages the relationship, leaving me very bitter and resentful.
In the summer of 2013 she starts seeing this guy (by the way I am housemates with the girl at this point and have been since before we became **** buddies) at the start of them seeing each other I thought I was ok with it but clearly I wasn't. Bear in mind that it was all happening under my own roof which made matters a lot worse.
So anyway I tried to hide my feelings of jealousy because I felt it would have been very hypocritical and selfish of me to say or do anything about it, especially after what had happened earlier in the year. However the inevitable happened and she found out. We stated banging again. Other guy out of the picture..
We eventually stop again. Various attempts made by me to hook up with other girls seem, from my point of view, to be met by jealous behaviour from her. I am constantly asking her if she has feelings for me which she always angrily denies!
I end up hooking up with another girl. In a particularly hostile night, we are all at a pub/club and I am going back with this girl. Chloe is very upset, I am not very thoughtful or caring in my actions at all. She finally says she has feelings for me in a heated exchange outside the pub. I am angry because she had always denied and even got frustrated with me when I asked her if she did, so I leave with the girl.
As it turns out I'm not that into this new girl. It fizzles out fairly quickly (still very good friends). Next couple years me and Chloe are still friends but it's on and off. Arguments Still occurring. We didn't see each other at all for a period.
HOWEVER recently (past few months) it's been great. As friends. We've been like our old selves. She's seeing guys and it seems I'm genuinely ok with that. By the way we understandably don't live together any more. But she had some issues with her landlord so we invited her to stay for a month before she has to go back home temporarily.
Now yesterday she invited her bloke round to cook for us. And for **** sake I feel jealous again! He seems like a nice guy, but I just can't act like myself. I had to get out of the house! It's horrible! Right now I've bloody driven out to Southend! Just to get away for a bit.
My question Is am I just being a selfish jealous bastard that only wants what he can't have!? Or do i actually like her? I dont know what to do. Im worried mentioning it will bring up all this **** from the past. At the same time she always seems to hint at us ****ing again (even tried it on the other night)to which I have been reluctant.
Please help me out. I know it may seem like a trivial thing but it really is screwing with my mind.
Thanks in advance.
Yes, you're being a jealous baby. But only because your ego's hurt, not because you like her. If you liked her, you would have treated her more respectfully along the way.
Okay. Are you ready for this? You two need to get your **** straight. You get jealous, she gets jealous, clearly, there is something more there than just you two being former shag buddies. Y'all need to just brutally assess what you two mean to each other. You need to stop using other people to strike at each other and just settle once and for all what you two mean to one another.
Do you love each other? Do you guys just have really awesome sex? Do you two actually hate each other? Just be honest, lay all the cards on the table, and go from there. If you guys can't figure it out, one of you two should probably sever the relation-whatever this is. Quit playing checkers with each other.
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