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Widowed after 18 years. Going on 4th year with my 2nd husband.
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Yet another person who doesn't understand probabilities or the advantages to making decisions based on those..
I mean who would even think about basing important decisions in their lives based on increasing the probability of desirable outcomes? Yeah who cares?
In that case really the only people that should have kids are those that are very wealthy, have Ivy education, have great genes, is under the age of 35, guarantees to never get divorced, and the list goes on. This means the majority of children are being brought to existence by parents that didn't make all of the decisions that would ensure the advantage of the most desirable outcome... Because class, income, education, genetics and a host of other components are also important when you discuss giving children advantages and assuring they have the most desirable outcome. In fact that combination gives the child the greatest advantage and likelihood of success in this country.
It has nothing to do with any responsibility to provide children for childless couples to adopt and everything to do with giving this unborn child the best chance possible.
Again, it is her decision. As far as I can tell, she is not even asking for advice on what to do. She has already decided.
We may as well argue over who she should have gone to prom with her senior year of high school or what she should have chosen for her major in college.
Unfortunately he does. However, he wasn't against abortion, so there is a good chance he won't be against adoption.
I meant she cannot just unilaterally decide he may not visit his biological child (as you were suggesting). If he wants to be present in his child's life, the court system will be on his side, unless she can show he is unfit.
In that case really the only people that should have kids are those that are very wealthy, have Ivy education, have great genes, is under the age of 35, guarantees to never get divorced, and the list goes on. This means the majority of children are being brought to existence by parents that didn't make all of the decisions that would ensure the advantage of the most desirable outcome... Because class, income, education, genetics and a host of other components are also important when you discuss giving children advantages and assuring they have the most desirable outcome. In fact that combination gives the child the greatest advantage and likelihood of success in this country.
There is a huge difference between having kids before one is 35, not being wealthy, not having an Ivu League education, and not having perfect genes and choosing to have a kid with a jerkish dad and then raise that kid under the dad's influence.
The two most important people in a kid's development are the mother and father. If one of them is messed up, you significantly increase the probability of bad outcomes for the kid.
But who cares about that? Who would ever think about make a choice that better's the kids probabilities of good outcomes in life when you can just raise him yourself based on your own selfish biological imperatives?
I meant she cannot just unilaterally decide he may not visit his biological child (as you were suggesting). If he wants to be present in his child's life, the court system will be on his side, unless she can show he is unfit.
If he is OK with abortion, he will probably be ok with adoption. Once adoption occurs, he will not be in the kid's life and will have no rights to be.. This is why this is the best option for the child.
There is a huge difference between having kids before one is 35, not being wealthy, having an Ivu League education, having perfect genes and choosing to have a kid with a jerkish dad and then raise that kid under the dad's influence.
The two most important people in a kid's development are the mother and father. If one of them is messed up, you significantly increase the probability of bad outcomes for the kid.
But who cares about that? Who would ever think about make a choice that better's the kids probabilities of good outcomes in life when you can just raise him yourself based on your own selfish biological imperatives?
Aah but isn't this all about making all the decisions that increase the odds of success for your child? It doesn't just end with getting married prior to having the child. There are a host of other components that increase the probability of a healthy productive successful child in this country and they are certainly tied to income, class, parents education status, the schools they send their child to, their occupation and so on. If one was really trying to increase the odds of the best outcome possible they would understand how critical these components are.
A mother and father are the most important people in a child's development but those other components impact a child's development as well, whether you choose to acknowledge that or not. And people are rarely so one dimensional that they are simply a jerk-they are usually a multitude of things in various realms of their lives and that can be a multitude of bad or a mixture. Usually it's a mixture. People are not imperfect and one way all the time. For instance I've been a jerk before, and a liar and a manipulator, and a b**** and I've also been generous and kind and loving and hard working and resourceful and resilient.
I've already told my parents story on here often-both my parents were born to single teen moms on welfare in the projects. My dad is on the top 5 percent in the amount he earns in income each year, and before my mother passed away she had advanced degrees and had raised 4 children with my father, one of which went to Harvard for undergrad, the other Northwestern, and the other went to a top well known private university. My father is upper middle class, one of my sisters is 27 and makes over 160k per year as an attorney at a top law firm in NYC.
The president of the United States was born to a single mother. Don't underestimate the complexity of people and what they are capable of even in the midst of all odds against them.
Yet another person who doesn't understand probabilities or the advantages to making decisions based on those..
I mean who would even think about basing important decisions in their lives based on increasing the probability of desirable outcomes? Yeah who cares?
So what's the point of anything? The inevitable outcome of life is death. No, I don't look up starts before I make every important decision in my life. I make decisions based on what I think is best for my life. Who are you to tell OP that she should give her baby up for adoption? Do you really think that you're going to convince a stranger on the internet to give away her baby based on stats? Who cares, you shouldn't, it's not your baby.
Again, it is her decision. As far as I can tell, she is not even asking for advice on what to do. She has already decided..
Actually, you are right. She was just blogging.
However, in 20 years or so, when her son is a hellion and has kids with 5 different baby-mommas, she can always remember this thread and the advice she didn't listen to.
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