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I'm sorry for your son, as well as the future women in his life, that you have to be so selfish.
I agree. I'm adopted, I gave a child up for adoption, and I adopted my two daughters.
Adoption is the most selfless thing you can do for a child that will potentially grow up without two parents, or worse, one of them a woman-hating cad.
As a successful woman raised by a single parent, I am literally laughing at all this doom and gloom on this thread.
That being said, the OP does not seem mature enough to handle a child. She is still naïve enough to think that having a baby will change his mind (I'm reading between the lines, but it seems pretty clear to me). She also can't see that the parents' offer to "help" may come with strings.
As opposed to my husband who is not a douche meaning not sleeping around, but a major azzhole douche evil incarnate when we had pregnancy scare he wanted to terminate it immediately. And even wanted to divorce me!!!!
I tell you whats worse than being a Single Mom - being a Mom in an unhappy marriage trying to take care of Everyone Else while no one takes care of her.
That's far tougher, and more common than those fake smiles would have you believe.
When I became a single mom - what a relief.
No more husband to worry about, launder for, or feed.
I'm 27 and about a year ago I started a relationship with a 35 year old man. He's very attractive, had a smart humour and acted very nicely towards me. In the back of my mind I always had the old tale of finding a good man and having a stable long term relationship, a couple of kids and being my own little princess. Very naive, I know, but I always dreamt with it.
Well, it turns out he was not so nice after all. He comes from a wealthy family and basically always had everything he wanted. I noticed he went out at night way too often and soon found out he was having multiple affairs with several women. I find lots of sexual text messages, women sending naked pics to him and that when he said he was going home he was mostly going to nightclubs and strip clubs with his friends.
The way he acted had already faded before I found out. He started to come across as cocky, arrogant, couldn't stop starring at hot women and made plenty of sexist remarks.
I also found out I was pregnant around the same time. I obviously broke up with him and he never denied the affairs. He even said you couldn't expect a man to waste his life being faithful to a woman.
I was very afraid of his reaction towards the pregnancy but he acted way better than I expected. He was surprised, just asked if I was sure the baby was his () and said the decision to abort or keep the child was up to me. I eventually decided to keep the baby...I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion.
I'm now 16 weeks pregnant and it was confirmed today that it's a little boy. He travels a lot on business trips, I called him and he sounded very pleased.
My parents and my brothers say they don't judge me and will give me all the support I need but I still feel a bit disappointed because nothing turned out like I wished. I'm obviously very happy for the baby but his father acted will leave marks forever.
His mother invited me for coffee and she said that regardless of what happened between us, that the baby will have grandparents and cousins and asked me not to prevent him from being in contact with them. She said she knows her son doesn't act very well towards women but that he's truly happy with the baby.
His father also called me saying that if I ever need money to just ask him. I thanked him but said I've my own job and never depended on anyone's money to have my life.
Sorry for the long text. I'm just venting.
P.S. Yes, he'll have a paternity test done once our son is born. It could be done during the pregnancy but he said he didn't want to put the baby at risk.
Very sad, all the women telling her how great this is going to be for her (but forgetting all the negative consequences for the kid).
I can't speak for everyone else but I was honest with her, it's going to be very difficult and perhaps one of the hardest things she will ever do. But it is not the end of the world. And if she has support, a stable career, an education and makes better smarter decisions moving forward she can still be a good parent to her child. It will hurt her child-but the amount of hurt will vary, and can be minimized significantly if she does what I said above.
In any case I believe in the Soul contract and that children are born to exactly who they are supposed to be born to, in the conditions that they are born into and that its all supposed to happen exactly as it does.
But in effort to not divert this thread from the op, it's already been made clear by her that she will not give her child up for adoption, and that the man in this case will not be with her when she has this child, what advice should people give her in this situation when the bed has already been made and it's clear she's going to be a single parent?
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) and said the decision to abort or keep the child was up to me. I eventually decided to keep the baby...I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion.
