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Old 11-07-2015, 06:58 AM
 
2,013 posts, read 1,603,995 times
Reputation: 2741

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Quote:
Originally Posted by gumisgood View Post
A man saying this exact thing would be met with responses of "what were you waiting for?"
Women are afraid of rejection, that's true, and I think men get annoyed because they risk the same thing.

Thing is, with a cold approach women have another risk. What if he doesn't actually like me but just wants to get laid.

That's why it's so frustrating when men insist on how easy it is for women. Yes, it's probably easy in some cases, but we have no way of knowing if the man we approach actually is attracted to us or just looking to get laid.
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Old 11-07-2015, 10:22 AM
 
Location: TN
1,273 posts, read 989,098 times
Reputation: 1225
I did an experiment on Tinder. Signed up last night. Listed that I'm married with children. That I'm just curious, not looking for hookups. Also included a couple fully clothed body shots and my height and weight. I was all prepared to come back to this thread to report it was all bots or creepy hookup guys responding to my profile. Last night spoke with a very nice guy who is an engineer, and this morning woke up to at least two matches, one from a very attractive hipster artist type who a friend of mine actually knows and another from a buff active duty marine.


I have to report, in my case, if I was available and willing dating wouldn't be all that hard. But........that's assuming I have no criteria or filters which I do. Dating just for fun wouldn't be hard for anyone, male or female, but dating with a purpose or expectation ( like religious compatibility, future goals, sexual attitudes, kids or no kids ) makes it hard for anyone.

I think this is where this thread has gotten off track. The men who think it's easy for women to date or get a guy look at dating with a different goal or purpose, i.e. sexual conquest. Women who say it isn't easy look at dating with the goal of getting to know a guy for a future long term relationship, which will by default make the choosing a lot riskier and by necessity more difficult.


If a woman is just looking to get laid, I agree it would be really really easy, as long as she isn't picky and is willing to risk her safety and health to meet a stranger she matched off Tinder in a hotel room at night. Now why this would be a good thing or even something women should strive for, I have no idea.
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Old 11-07-2015, 10:55 AM
 
2,013 posts, read 1,603,995 times
Reputation: 2741
Quote:
Originally Posted by April R View Post


If a woman is just looking to get laid, I agree it would be really really easy, as long as she isn't picky and is willing to risk her safety and health to meet a stranger she matched off Tinder in a hotel room at night. Now why this would be a good thing or even something women should strive for, I have no idea.
By that criteria, it's just as easy for men, if they are not picky.
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Old 11-07-2015, 11:19 AM
 
37,495 posts, read 45,798,776 times
Reputation: 56996
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck View Post
By that criteria, it's just as easy for men, if they are not picky.
I disagree. The number of men that are willing to have nothing more than a "hookup" from a date is a far higher number than the number women who are willing to do the same.

Nothing new here.
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Old 11-07-2015, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
1,384 posts, read 1,054,485 times
Reputation: 1635
Quote:
Originally Posted by April R View Post
I did an experiment on Tinder. Signed up last night. Listed that I'm married with children. That I'm just curious, not looking for hookups. Also included a couple fully clothed body shots and my height and weight. I was all prepared to come back to this thread to report it was all bots or creepy hookup guys responding to my profile. Last night spoke with a very nice guy who is an engineer, and this morning woke up to at least two matches, one from a very attractive hipster artist type who a friend of mine actually knows and another from a buff active duty marine.


I have to report, in my case, if I was available and willing dating wouldn't be all that hard. But........that's assuming I have no criteria or filters which I do. Dating just for fun wouldn't be hard for anyone, male or female, but dating with a purpose or expectation ( like religious compatibility, future goals, sexual attitudes, kids or no kids ) makes it hard for anyone.

I think this is where this thread has gotten off track. The men who think it's easy for women to date or get a guy look at dating with a different goal or purpose, i.e. sexual conquest. Women who say it isn't easy look at dating with the goal of getting to know a guy for a future long term relationship, which will by default make the choosing a lot riskier and by necessity more difficult.


If a woman is just looking to get laid, I agree it would be really really easy, as long as she isn't picky and is willing to risk her safety and health to meet a stranger she matched off Tinder in a hotel room at night. Now why this would be a good thing or even something women should strive for, I have no idea.
You've been on the website for less than a day and you've already had 3 attractive guys message you.

How long do you think it will be before you find an exact match?

Now, try creating a profile as an average looking guy and see how many women message you (likely none) and how many respond to you with legitimate responses (like 1/20 or worse). Then, try to imagine being a man that is quiet and has difficulty meeting women IRL, that ONLY can rely on OLD. Think of what it will do to your confidence to get rejected so often.

I swear...most women are so disconnected from how things really work. It's truly astonishing.
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Old 11-07-2015, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Coastal Mid-Atlantic
6,721 posts, read 4,390,330 times
Reputation: 8320
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24 View Post
Traditionally, men are the pursuers; women the pursuees.

Many women prefer the thrill of the chase. They don't want to seem....desperate. Play hard-to-get, keep the guy on his toes.
Women want a stiff one in them just much as you want to put one in there. They just have to be a little standoffish, so not to look like some wh**e.
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Old 11-07-2015, 12:19 PM
 
2,508 posts, read 2,167,921 times
Reputation: 5426
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck View Post
Women are afraid of rejection, that's true, and I think men get annoyed because they risk the same thing.

Thing is, with a cold approach women have another risk. What if he doesn't actually like me but just wants to get laid.

That's why it's so frustrating when men insist on how easy it is for women. Yes, it's probably easy in some cases, but we have no way of knowing if the man we approach actually is attracted to us or just looking to get laid.
You're right - a woman wouldn't know what a guy is looking for (or not looking for) ahead of time. That's just a chance women will have to take if they want to cold-approach a guy.

Personally, I'm just looking to get laid. A woman would find that out fairly quickly if she got to know me - so I wouldn't waste too much of her time if that's not what she's looking for also...
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Old 11-07-2015, 12:27 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck View Post
Women are afraid of rejection, that's true, and I think men get annoyed because they risk the same thing.

Thing is, with a cold approach women have another risk. What if he doesn't actually like me but just wants to get laid.

That's why it's so frustrating when men insist on how easy it is for women. Yes, it's probably easy in some cases, but we have no way of knowing if the man we approach actually is attracted to us or just looking to get laid.

As guys we don't know either. There have been many times I pursued women, and a few times I have been pursued by women and really liked them, and all they wanted was the most casual of relationships (FBs, FWBs, or casual dating with sex and not really going anywhere), it can be just as frustrating as a guy when you really like the girl. That's all they want? Why am I not good enough for more? She kisses me, sleeps with me, even at times introduces me to her parents and friends, and tells me she really likes me... but doesn't want anything serious. It messes just as much with men as it does with women.
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Old 11-07-2015, 12:35 PM
 
Location: TN
1,273 posts, read 989,098 times
Reputation: 1225
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I disagree. The number of men that are willing to have nothing more than a "hookup" from a date is a far higher number than the number women who are willing to do the same.

Nothing new here.
The point is if men were just as picky/Unpicky as women then no one would have it any easier or harder than anyone else. The fact is, people differ, it's not a male female thing in the long run. We are looking at this whole thing in a heteronormative Westernized mindset, which doesn't apply to large swaths of the human experience.
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Old 11-07-2015, 12:38 PM
 
Location: TN
1,273 posts, read 989,098 times
Reputation: 1225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Akonyo View Post
You've been on the website for less than a day and you've already had 3 attractive guys message you.

How long do you think it will be before you find an exact match?

Now, try creating a profile as an average looking guy and see how many women message you (likely none) and how many respond to you with legitimate responses (like 1/20 or worse). Then, try to imagine being a man that is quiet and has difficulty meeting women IRL, that ONLY can rely on OLD. Think of what it will do to your confidence to get rejected so often.

I swear...most women are so disconnected from how things really work. It's truly astonishing.
Yep. My ego is sky high right now. But the reality is I'm not able to taste from the male smorgasbord because of fidelity.
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