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Old 11-02-2015, 08:16 AM
 
178 posts, read 231,622 times
Reputation: 493

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Can you get a higher paying job to make up for your husband's lost income?

He may have a easier time finding a job closer to tax time if he is in accounting. Hang in there.

 
Old 11-02-2015, 08:26 AM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,263,657 times
Reputation: 13249
Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFly2 View Post
Can you get a higher paying job to make up for your husband's lost income?

He may have a easier time finding a job closer to tax time if he is in accounting. Hang in there.
Or...her husband could get a full time job.

Why would the OP change jobs? This doesn't sound like a permanent situation.
 
Old 11-02-2015, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Portland, OR
9,855 posts, read 11,899,903 times
Reputation: 10028
Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted).

The situation, however, is very real, and is happening daily especially since 2008. I've only had one close friend commit suicide, but it was because after almost 2 years of unemployment/underemployment , his wife started an affair with another guy at our then church who was much more financially secure. I know other guys who have had to move back in with parents and bring their spouses with them. All these marriages are in big trouble. At my present church there is a mens group and I drop in from time to time. Half the guys in it are being supported by their wives. The other half are retired. There are NO guys in the traditional role of "provider". This thread actually surprised me as I expected many of the female responses to sympathize with the original poster. I'm happy to see that there are still women that understand that things have changed in the world, and that those old points of view on who does what in a marriage are going to have to change.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 11-03-2015 at 12:31 PM..
 
Old 11-02-2015, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Baldwin
372 posts, read 454,987 times
Reputation: 1171
For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health...

Why did you marry this man? It doesn't sound as though it was out of love.
 
Old 11-02-2015, 10:14 AM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,263,657 times
Reputation: 13249
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisesturm View Post
[snip] The situation, however, is very real, and is happening daily especially since 2008. I've only had one close friend commit suicide, but it was because after almost 2 years of unemployment/underemployment , his wife started an affair with another guy at our then church who was much more financially secure. I know other guys who have had to move back in with parents and bring their spouses with them. All these marriages are in big trouble. At my present church there is a mens group and I drop in from time to time. Half the guys in it are being supported by their wives. The other half are retired. There are NO guys in the traditional role of "provider". This thread actually surprised me as I expected many of the female responses to sympathize with the original poster. I'm happy to see that there are still women that understand that things have changed in the world, and that those old points of view on who does what in a marriage are going to have to change.

Well..

I have always believed that a man worked for a living - barring physical disability. I would be livid if my husband lacked full time employment for almost a year. A year?? There are jobs here, and I wouldn't care what he did, but he had to something.


Even in your post, the words "supported by" their wives irked me. LOL I just don't believe in that.

And my husband wouldn't want to be known as a man who was "supported by" his wife, either. I can't even imagine him not working for a whole year.

In our house, we BOTH provide.

As to the OP, if she's sitting at home w/o kids and expecting him to support her, not cool. If she's working, taking care of kids, AND still has to do housework while he works part-time she has a right to be upset.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 11-03-2015 at 12:33 PM..
 
Old 11-02-2015, 10:16 AM
 
Location: So Cal
52,011 posts, read 52,457,444 times
Reputation: 52524
Jeez.... so much for staying through thick and thin.

I get that people need to work to support their families, but what happened to sticking together through the good and the bad, for better or worse?

If you're gonna duck out when things get a bit rough, why bother being married... it's posts like these that get under my skin when people put on holy than thou airs because others choose to "shack up" instead of marriage.

Last edited by Chowhound; 11-02-2015 at 10:25 AM..
 
Old 11-02-2015, 10:40 AM
 
2,135 posts, read 5,480,684 times
Reputation: 3146
Wow, he loses his job and you are ready to bail? Please do so now, so he can not be forced to live with such a human being. Also good luck with future relationships: "Why are you divorced?" "Oh I left my husband because that bum assed loser lost his job!"
 
Old 11-02-2015, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,931 posts, read 11,691,276 times
Reputation: 13170
I hope you can support yourself.
 
Old 11-02-2015, 10:49 AM
 
3,063 posts, read 3,263,965 times
Reputation: 3641
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
Well..

I have always believed that a man worked for a living - barring physical disability. I would be livid if my husband lacked full time employment for almost a year. A year?? There are jobs here, and I wouldn't care what he did, but he had to something.


Even in your post, the words "supported by" their wives irked me. LOL I just don't believe in that.

And my husband wouldn't want to be known as a man who was "supported by" his wife, either. I can't even imagine him not working for a whole year.

In our house, we BOTH provide.

As to the OP, if she's sitting at home w/o kids and expecting him to support her, not cool. If she's working, taking care of kids, AND still has to do housework while he works part-time she has a right to be upset.
I agree.

It wasn't the only reason I left my sons father, but it played a huge role-when he was unemployed for a long period of time and had the nerve to be picky about jobs and didn't want to take certain ones that were offered. Um you have a family to help support, not acceptable to not do whatever it takes to help support the family financially.

It sounds like the op's husband has not had stable employment for a year and has tried different unstable gigs that have not been much help financially. At this point he needs to get something-in his field or in another field that can help contribute to household finances.
As for the op she hasn't said what she's doing to help contribute yet, but if she is unemployed as well then she also needs to get a job to help supplement missing income.
 
Old 11-02-2015, 10:51 AM
 
Location: TN/NC
34,944 posts, read 31,079,407 times
Reputation: 47329
The economy isn't what it was. People are out of work many times through no fault of their own. Whether or not he is doing his best isn't even the point - it's the fact that you're wanting to abandon him during a time of need.
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