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I didn't post any link. Anyhow, I'd love a man that takes charge. This man does the exact opposite. Which is why I'm going to drop him now.
Yes, you did. Just say that you removed it, for Pete's sake. Directness is important early on. Set your boundaries. The dude prob'ly thought you had serious intents after meeting for the fourth time after your initial "date." And you don't have to "drop" people. He might have a buddy that you'd really like.
That's not dating. You guys are merely acquaintances. By the fifth "date", I know what you look like on the inside.
Gross. That excalated quickly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abundiata
I'm multi dating. A man I'd been on several dates with seemed to be really taking me for granted. He acted like a relationship with me was a foregone conclusion and that I likely wouldn't have any options beyond him. He never initiated a "talk" about exclusivity and whatnot. He just assumed, wrongly it turns out, I was his for the taking.
Finally the talk came (initiated by me) about whether either of us are dating other people. It's only been about 5 dates. At first he sent this strange passive message that went "I am not concerned about other men. I'm sure you wouldn't do that. I don't feel a need to even discuss these things because I can tell from your behaviour that I don't have any competition. We have clicked and it's so hard to meet people these days."
He said he's not dating anyone else. I told him the truth, I'm seeing other men. He was so surprised. And now he has resorted to simply sending passive-aggressive text messages.
Overally, he is very passive and weak. Will this ever change?
OP, don't get distracted by bitter posts that have little to do with YOUR situation. This ^^ guy sounds like a piece of work. I don't think he's WEAK so much as he's presumptuous and has an overblown ego.
Regardless, what does it say about him if he ASSUMES he's your only option mainly because "it's hard to meet people"? To me, that screams "insecurity."
Drop him, yes, but don't assume that weakness is the problem. And don't let someone tell you "the way it is" after 5 dates.
The passive aggressive texts would send me running...if he's angry but cannot tell you directly but instead passively punishes, then yes, I would RUN in the other direction. Been there done that, passive-aggressive doesn't change. I know what you mean OP, and no, I don't think he will change.
I'm multi dating. A man I'd been on several dates with seemed to be really taking me for granted. He acted like a relationship with me was a foregone conclusion and that I likely wouldn't have any options beyond him. He never initiated a "talk" about exclusivity and whatnot. He just assumed, wrongly it turns out, I was his for the taking.
Finally the talk came (initiated by me) about whether either of us are dating other people. It's only been about 5 dates. At first he sent this strange passive message that went "I am not concerned about other men. I'm sure you wouldn't do that. I don't feel a need to even discuss these things because I can tell from your behaviour that I don't have any competition. We have clicked and it's so hard to meet people these days."
He said he's not dating anyone else. I told him the truth, I'm seeing other men. He was so surprised. And now he has resorted to simply sending passive-aggressive text messages.
Overally, he is very passive and weak. Will this ever change?
That's not what I would call a WEAK man. He was confident that you two get it on. And his message was not strange at all. He had a high opinion of you and felt chemistry.
And then you crushed his heart ... for whatever reason. His only mistake is not to drop you right away after you told him you are seeing others.
He said he's not dating anyone else. I told him the truth, I'm seeing other men. He was so surprised. And now he has resorted to simply sending passive-aggressive text messages.
Overally, he is very passive and weak. Will this ever change?
Maybe not passive and weak...maybe feeling very hurt.
Maybe next time you should be honest, right from the start, that you aren't looking for commitment (just another friend for a good time)...then there's less likelyhood of one of you being "surprised".
It's immature for him to send you those texts, but hurt feelings make some of us do things we know are wrong.
I'm multi dating. A man I'd been on several dates with seemed to be really taking me for granted. He acted like a relationship with me was a foregone conclusion and that I likely wouldn't have any options beyond him. He never initiated a "talk" about exclusivity and whatnot. He just assumed, wrongly it turns out, I was his for the taking.
Finally the talk came (initiated by me) about whether either of us are dating other people. It's only been about 5 dates. At first he sent this strange passive message that went "I am not concerned about other men. I'm sure you wouldn't do that. I don't feel a need to even discuss these things because I can tell from your behaviour that I don't have any competition. We have clicked and it's so hard to meet people these days."
He said he's not dating anyone else. I told him the truth, I'm seeing other men. He was so surprised. And now he has resorted to simply sending passive-aggressive text messages.
Overally, he is very passive and weak. Will this ever change?
If I was him and you said that to me... I would have held out my hand as to offer you a hand shake and said, "Well, I don't see any reason to continue this relationship and it was nice to meet you ."
Then I would have walked away hand shake or not.
Then it would have been YOU OP who would have been 'surprised.'
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Gross. That excalated quickly.
