Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So there has been some question as to whether men care as much that a woman be successful as a man or not. So here is my question:
Say you met a truly gorgeous smart, intelligent funny woman, but she worked, say, at McDonald's flipping burgers and she had absolutely no desire to ever get anything better, would you stay or go?
You're pushing the limits of hypothetical.
Keep in mind... woman who work at McDonald's flipping burgers who have absolutely no desire to ever get anything better are very unlikely to be viewed (by most successful men) as 'truly gorgeous smart, intelligent funny.'
..but there are plenty of other jobs similarly low-paying which would, presumably, still come with the "lazy person doesn't have any ambition if she's willing to make so little," stigma. Various ones have been mentioned.
Keep in mind... woman who work at McDonald's flipping burgers who have absolutely no desire to ever get anything better are very unlikely to be viewed (by most successful men) as 'truly gorgeous smart, intelligent funny.'
Even though there are exceptions, generally speaking, men tend to be more forgiving about a woman's financial status than the other way around just like women tend to be more forgiving about a man's physical characteristics than the other way around.
Job snobbery annoys the hell out of me. The irony is that it often comes from people who aren't particularly well educated or bright, themselves.
I have a master's degree, and gave up a well-paying job when my ex-husband accepted an excellent offer in TN. It ended up taking me a couple of years to land a job in my field. In the meantime, however, I wanted to keep busy and to build a new network in our new city. So, I volunteered in a couple of different capacities, as I've often done through the years, did a lot of reading and researching, and undertook an extensive job search, which, alone, is incredibly time consuming.
I also decided to take a seasonal part-time job at a cool little local, privately-owned bakery-cafe. I'd always thought working in a bakery would be fun (it was), and I truly believe that ANY job gives opportunities to learn new skills or to hone old ones (it did). Yes, ANY job can do this. If nothing else, a low-paying, seemingly dead-end job can teach a person patience, time management and organizational skills (these jobs usually include lots of duties, with little time to fulfill them), resilience and above-average interpersonal skills (dealing with the public can be very tough) and, most of all, the ability to do be highly productive and valuable in demanding circumstances.
Now, I COULD have simply taken the easy route and hung out with the SAHMs in our affluent community. No, thanks. I'd already done that, and it no longer interested me. Plus, earning my own paycheck, no matter how small, is, and always has been, important to me, for various reasons.
Though not a huge surprise, I was astounded by the shocked and condescending reactions I got from people when I told them where I was working. I guess working in a cafe is not the "respectable" thing for the educated wives of educated, successful men to do.
When I got laid off from my first job right out of college, I started freelancing. It paid the bills and I worked my butt off. I ran into a friend's father, who was always kind of a jerk anyway, and when he asked me what I was doing, I told him. He made a comment that I wasn't "gainfully employed."
And yet that experience helped me land the job I have now. I also didn't have trouble finding dates (well, then, anyway.)
I get what people are saying about being able to enjoy life, go on vacation, etc. I don't think that's really job snobbery. But when people say "oh, there's no way someone with a menial job/low paying job could be amazing..." Wow. That says A LOT about the person who says that.
I'll take a guy working at the gas station over a pretentious, elitist jackass any day.
Keep in mind... woman who work at McDonald's flipping burgers who have absolutely no desire to ever get anything better are very unlikely to be viewed (by most successful men) as 'truly gorgeous smart, intelligent funny.'
They are also unlikely to be gorgeous, smart, intelligent, and funny. In fact I will put up 100 bucks to anyone who finds a chick who meets the op's criteria.
What if it's not the dreaded food service/retail, but still as low-paying/nearly as low-paying, even though it's a professional/career track? Various female-dominated fields (human services, among others come to mind) are quite low-paying, but choosing to work in them doesn't indicate a "lack of ambition," per se.
I agree with this.
A friend of mine is a single mom and has not been able to continue her higher education because of it. She works as an aide in a special ed classroom. I would say she fits the OP's criteria of being gorgeous, smart, etc. She supports her kids with little help from her family and zero support from her ex-husband. I think she has desire to do something else (I think she leaned towards psychology, probably would've been a teacher though), but right now, she gets by financially and the schedule is great for her kids.
Her job pays a few bucks above minimum wage, but it requires oodles of compassion and emotional intelligence. It is far more demanding mentally/emotionally than a job flipping burgers, IMO.
I have yet to meet a person who does a retail/food service job that is not in HS/college, semi-retired, or just working a part-time job for extra cash (ie. a part time SAHM). In CA, it is not even possible to support yourself with such work.
Hmmmm. My late husband graduated from Heald with IT/Electronics degree. He was offered a job by Slumberjei (sp), anyway, the guys with the oil rigs for great pay (they scaled back a few months after offer and position was eliminated), FBI was on the 3rd interview with him (I forget what happened with that) and he finally settled on a bank job that paid well and had choice benefits. I think both my SIL & BIL graduated DeVry and they both work on a military base and are doing quite well.
Any education is what you make of it.
The oilfield service company you are referring to is French headquartered, it's spelled Schlumberger, but pronounced "Slumber-J". I worked there a couple of years in my mis-spent youth. Good pay but horrible hours and conditions, at least in "open" hole work.
Oil Field Trash - Damn Proud Of It!
Look out though - oil price goes down, they lay off as fast as they hire when it's high!
So there has been some question as to whether men care as much that a woman be successful as a man or not. So here is my question:
Say you met a truly gorgeous smart, intelligent funny woman, but she worked, say, at McDonald's flipping burgers and she had absolutely no desire to ever get anything better, would you stay or go?
I asked an attractive girl that worked at burger king out. I don't care at all.
Even though there are exceptions, generally speaking, men tend to be more forgiving about a woman's financial status than the other way around just like women tend to be more forgiving about a man's physical characteristics than the other way around.
You're 100% correct. My point was just that the OP presents a scenario that is very unlikely, bordering on impossible especially when the part about having no desire to improve one's career is added in (as opposed to someone working @ McD while in school, in light of a sudden layoff, etc.).
If the hypothetical is viewed as 'If X is true, then would you Y,' I'm not sure what the purpose of discussing what Y would be when the chance of X being true is <<<<<<<1%.
So there has been some question as to whether men care as much that a woman be successful as a man or not. So here is my question:
Say you met a truly gorgeous smart, intelligent funny woman, but she worked, say, at McDonald's flipping burgers and she had absolutely no desire to ever get anything better, would you stay or go?
I don't have the time or enough popcorn to read all these pages but the answer to question is very simple.
Since she's gorgeous, smart, and funny I would say about 95 percent of single men would snag her up in a heartbeat if they had the chance.
Now if the situation was reversed no matter how great the guy was most women would never give him a chance in a million years. Despite all of his other positive qualities.
Money is the main thing most women care about it seems once you get past age 30 anyway. They do not look for true love or true romance. Lots of great women in their 20's that look for the right things however, sadly, they will be snagged up before their 30th birthday and taken off the market.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
