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I (23) met this local guy(30) on social media 4 days ago and we've been texting since then. I found out a lot about him and he seemed like someone I could get a long great with and have a fun time with.
Yesterday(because we were both really busy until then) we finally talk on the phone and he goes on a tangent about religion. He says he's not atheist but hates other people who are so into religion.
Now, I'm not really religious but the way he went on about this for 20 minutes of our conversation had me scared. We barely had a conversation. It was just him rambling about what he hates about really religious people.
Is this a sign I should look elsewhere, because I was really uncomfortable with how the talk went. Or should I go on a first date and see how we vibe and make the decision then?
What makes me think I will end up annoyed by him is that I dated another really opinionated man who talked with the same intonation. And that was the one reason why I was glad we broke up.
He is likely an uncoordinated idiot, just trying to impress a chick with his 'intellect' and 'discerning palate'. If you got a really bad vibe then don't go out with him. If you are still curious, you can take a look/see. He definitely does't have the greatest judgement, you can see that right away.
You haven't even met the guy and he is already making you uncomfortable! OF COURSE you shouldn't keep pursuing this! Use a little common sense! The guy set off your alarm bells, doesn't matter the reason, therefore you listen to it and don't be one of those idiots who gets into a long and drawn out relationship with a guy who you knew was not right from the start!
Do yourself a favor and read the book The Gift of Fear. Because you need serious help with learning how to trust your instincts.
Wow! You have known the guy for all of four days and you are already judging him. You don't know what was on his mind. He might have been overstressed. He might have been annoyed by those door-to-door Jehova's Witnesses or other religious kooks. You say he made an impression of someone you could have a great time with, so why don't you go ahead, meet him and HAVE a great time? What's the worst that could happen?
I would move on. Someone is on his best behavior when he is courting and trying to impress someone. If this was his best I can't imagine his worst. When I met my future wife, we didn't even hold hands because I was so smitten with her and I wasn't sure about her culture (Colombian), so I held off, deciding it was better to err on the side of caution. In the past when I was courting a woman I was always on my best behavior (which was my regular behavior). I would never go into a tirade about religion no matter what I thought. I look at life this way, when we are born we are like a blank book and life fills in the pages. Each time we have an experience whether good or bad it affects us (maybe just a little). Don't waste your time with a potential relationship that is setting off alarm bells after 4 days. Just think, a much better person is out there and you could miss them while you waste your time with this. You are young (23), and you have your whole life ahead of you, and deserve the best so don't sell yourself short. I see from your previous posts you were dating someone in their 40's so at least your making progress, but seriously do you think that little of yourself that you can't find someone your own age or at least close?
Last edited by Thundarr457; 11-07-2015 at 08:52 AM..
Sounds like a red flag. It's fine to not be religious, or to not agree with the beliefs. But going out of one's way to "hate" other people just because they believe in something is sad, then to ramble about it to someone you haven't even known for a week.... Not believing in something. Normal. To hate people because they do = sad.
That's like my cousin. She hates gay people. If you aren't on board with homosexuality fine. But to "hate" someone because of whom they go to bed with is pathetic. Unless they're sleeping with your SO. lol
You have to really be focused on, and constantly thinking/worrying about something to be hating on it. Being indifferent, that's fine. Shows it has no effect on you, and doesn't dominate any areas of your life.
What do you really have to lose by going out with him just once?
Maybe he'll end up being the same as he was on the phone. So what? You gave it a shot and hoped for the best. There's no harm in that.
OR maybe he was having a weird day, or talks too much when he is nervous, and that was what you heard.
Give it a shot. If the date sucks, just excuse yourself and be honest with him that you aren't compatible. If it's fun, then you'll know that you would have missed out on a good time if you'd cut him off prematurely.
As long as you go into this with both eyes open, what's the worst that could happen?
The fact that he "hates" anyone for any reason should be a red flag.
Yep.
Think about it...you're supposed to be putting your best self forward during this stage, and he thinks THIS kind of overbearing rant is acceptable???
No thank you. Listen to your gut.
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