My wife slept with three of my friends while we were separated..

[dejaentendu19]

My friends and I would be dusting up the gravel and then never talking again. The wife doing this would hurt really bad, but with children involved I could see making it work. I just can't fathom this happening in my world.

[monumentus]

Originally Posted by slipperyslope93

You seem to not understand that every rule is not spoken.

You seem to not understand that you can not just make up rules that do not exist and merely label them "unspoken" as if this codified them somehow. Again - they were both single with no expectation of getting back together therefore AGAIN - their sex life during that time is none of each others business.

That does NOT mean they are not allowed ask of course - but it DOES mean they have no real right to expect to get an answer. And the OP was out of line to brow beat an answer out of her to the point of breaking her down into tears.

Originally Posted by slipperyslope93

In America, we don't "normally" sleep with our friends spouse.

Then take it up with the friends. I am talking about the OP and his partner. If you have an issue with what the FRIENDS did thats fine - but do not take it up with me given I was not talking about that. It is a different subject to what I am discussing.

Originally Posted by slipperyslope93

You said what she does during a separation is her business. Agreed, as long as her business doesn't flow into "his" business. When she slept with "three" of his friends, that then crosses the line into "his" business.

That is tosh. She is broken up with him. Who she sleeps with is her own business. She has no obligation to him - let alone vicariously through his friends. Now if the OP has an issue with his FRIENDS for doing this - that is a different topic. But once again - I am commenting on the OP only and his partner only. Nothing to do with his friends.

Originally Posted by slipperyslope93

I never thought separations were a green light for the individual to go sleep with everybody and anybody that they want to. I thought the primary goal was to see how you are without each other as well as see if you still want to be together.

There are different kinds of separation. There are "breaks" which are exactly what you describe. You are considering getting back together etc etc and there may be parameters and rules and expectations in such a scenario. Then there are separations which are (or seem to be) final. Which is the one the OP says they were in. During the break up they had NO expectation of getting back together. It was final. It was over. And that is the context my comments should be taken in.

Originally Posted by slipperyslope93

The fact that they did get back together means that she did not rule getting back together out.

You do not know that. She may have. She may not have. ALL we know is that the OP said they had no intentions of getting back together.

Originally Posted by slipperyslope93

And I never got personal. I just said what I felt. You seem to pick a side and no matter what evidence is presented

None HAS been presented. Just wishy washy nonsense about "unspoken" things that you simply make up.

[TaoistDude]

IMO, real friends wouldn't sleep with your ex, unless you've actually divorced, and even then if's poor judgment. That she slept with your friends is likely to have been deliberately malicious, IMO. It's a F U gesture, as she knew it would destroy your friendships - even if they weren't good friends. I think you made a mistake taking her back if you knew, and should have ended it with her for good once you found out.

[JanND]

OP I am surprised that your title of the thread doesn't say Ex-Friends...
I think you are hurt by the "friends" not following the guy code...as much if not more than what your wife did, in what was probably a weak emotional time for her. Clearly your "friends" are....I can't even say it here.

They should have fessed up too. Up to you, forgive or move-on regarding your wife. But, definitely dump these "friends"

[hawaiiancoconut]

The entire situation is trailer trash behavior.

[SD4020]

Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut

The entire situation is trailer trash behavior.

That's insulting to the rest of the trailer park. You're are absoletly right.