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Hi it keeps taking me a while to read the posts. Ty to everyone helping me
Well honestly we never talked about finances very much before we got married. This is actually his second career. He has a college degree and stuff but the started off in advertising and did that for eight years. Then he left that job and had savings then worked in and out of food places trying to learn how to craft his own iuce cream and sweets. He's actually 31. We met on OKC and dated for 8 months before we got engaged and married
As far as money goes I think I can afford to stay home. What's funny is that he told me he wanted kids right away since it was something he always wanted and he was envious if all his friends who had that. But now he barely seems to be pushing for it. We talk about it but suddenly its not a rush. I mean when we got together he promised he would take care of me and also promised my family he would to and i don't feel taken care of. Also he's not as affectionate either which bothers me and the truck and business gets most of the attention and I don't really anymore.
OP, this still doesn't answer the question: why did you get married right out of HS, instead of continuing to date him? How long was the engagement? Not very long, not the more typical 1-year (or more) engagement, if you're only 19, I gather.
Don't have kids in this situation, where suddenly he's lost interests in that, and does't seem as affectionate towards you, either. What does your family have to say about this? Have you shared this with them?
I like the suggestion Dewdroplet made; you do have the option of getting divorced and pushing the re-set button on your life, if you don't like the way things are going. (You could even go to college, starting at a Community College.) Have you tried to discuss this with him? It sounds like he's proceeding with his business/career plans without consulting you, and is taking for granted your help and cooperation. Is there much genuine communication in this marriage? Communication is a cornerstone to a successful marriage.
I think you have a lot to think about, OP. You may have gotten in over your head, at 18 or 19. Your decision to get married isn't written in stone, it's reversible, just keep that in mind as you consider your options, and hopefully,, discuss your feelings with your husband.
I wasn't calling her a child in a derogatory way. I was calling her a child because she is a child - like you said. I don't understand how her husband, being 31, thought that this was a good idea.
Ok, I see.
I agree I don't see how her husband, hard-working guy he seems to be - wanted to marry someone who didn't want to work.
Plus working on it all day just makes me tired. I try to talk to him about it but he gets mad when I do. I just need advice on what to say plus how to work on our relationship. Thanks
Get a job and when he tells/asks you to work in the food truck, tell him you can't because you have to go to work.
a young, attractive wife regarded as a status symbol for an older man.
She's 19, not 17.
I thought the only criteria was that you have to be attractive and much younger than the husband.
Oh,, I didn't know it had to do with age, at all! I thought it was mainly about attractiveness, occasionally about wealth (for guys trying to climb up the social ladder--it happens), but usually involved women close to the same age as the guy. The only "trophy wives" I know of (very few) are like that--same age as the guy. I've also only known maybe 1 or 2 19-yr-olds who were attractive enough to be considered for that category. (And remember: she was 18 when he met her.) But ok; I guess different people have different definitions for the term. Consider my view as of now--expanded.
Wives are not beholden to work for their husbands. Was she ever asked if she wanted to help out? Is she getting any pay at all? Does she own part of the business? Even if she wanted to get it off the ground, she's not obligated to do it forever and to do it for free. It's a BUSINESS - family businesses are the worst at taking advantage of family (usually women) to work for free - if the business is viable, HIRE some people or pay her!
Wives are not beholden to work for their husbands. Was she ever asked if she wanted to help out? Is she getting any pay at all? Does she own part of the business? Even if she wanted to get it off the ground, she's not obligated to do it forever and to do it for free. It's a BUSINESS - family businesses are the worst at taking advantage of family (usually women) to work for free - if the business is viable, HIRE some people or pay her!
You clearly have no clue how most family businesses work.
There is an enormous maturity gap between a 31-year-old guy who went to college and a recent high school grad. Hopefully, she has enough sense to take her birth control pills every day. It's not hard to predict where this relationship is headed.
Wives are not beholden to work for their husbands. Was she ever asked if she wanted to help out? Is she getting any pay at all? Does she own part of the business? Even if she wanted to get it off the ground, she's not obligated to do it forever and to do it for free. It's a BUSINESS - family businesses are the worst at taking advantage of family (usually women) to work for free - if the business is viable, HIRE some people or pay her!
Fair points, but it's pretty clear the business is only in the beginning phase, and therefore isn't viable. Also, if there were a divorce 5 years from now, when the biz is reasonably successful, she would be entitled to 50% of its value, whether she contributed to it or not.
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