I need help. I'm tired of my husband making me work! (pregnant, calling)
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Well, yes, because that's what he offered her. And now she feels like he pulled a bait-and-switch. It's not at all normal for a 30-year-old to date a teenager. There could well have been a hidden agenda, as someone suggested--he thought she was naive and would be easy to manipulate.
Correction - that's what she says he offered her. We don't know what they really discussed before their marriage. Maybe he thought he could manipulate her and change the deal. Or maybe she wanted a ring and talked a good game about working with him. Or otherwise changed the "deal". Maybe he wanted a family but after seeing her true side he decided she isn't the one he wants to have his kids. I don't know what he really told her or wanted from her but I'm pretty sure his plan wasn't to get married in order to have cheap labor in the food truck. Marriage/divorce is usually not financially advantageous to the working man.
If you take a look at the first post, she says "the lines can get long". So she thinks it's successful because there's (apparently) a good demand for what he's selling. In other words, at least he seems to have a steady clientele. Whether or not he's making a good profit and is able to support them with what he makes, we don't know for sure, but he's not asking her to go out and earn a 2nd income, so maybe he's doing ok. Or maybe he's subsidizing it with his savings, and she doesn't know. We have no way of knowing. But at least he has enough customers to keep them both busy. In that sense, it was a "successful" business launch. A narrow definition of "success", granted.
True success is paying all of the overhead and having a healthy profit. I would not define selling tacos (or whatever it is) at $1 and overhead being that same dollar. You can sell tacos until you fall over dead and still make $0 profit.
True success is paying all of the overhead and having a healthy profit. I would not define selling tacos (or whatever it is) at $1 and overhead being that same dollar. You can sell tacos until you fall over dead and still make $0 profit.
Yup. I was just explaining the perspective from which she appears to be viewing it, judging by her comments. And again, we don't know for sure, but apparently he's paying the bills (unless he's subsidizing the start-up from savings), so we might be able to venture that he's at least making enough to support the two of them.
This is something the OP should ask him about, really. She's his partner, both in matrimony and business, at this point. She should have a clear idea of how the business is stacking up.
Lighten up you sound like a baby. Yes you did make a very big commitment yet you talk like its no more important than going steady. Your husband has got alot of maturity and not just settling to be married but also to have a successful business and to provide well for you both. Just giving you a heads up he may decide to take your advice and hire a helper. She could be mature,fun,and love the job and also be willing to take your place at work full time and kick up the business a notch and also show interest in other things besides. You do know where Im going now dont you? You and he need to be building a business together so shape up,grow up and start wearing your big girl pants. You have learned that kissing,hugging and having sex isnt going to be a full time job and amsure you would complain about that sooner or later. Just out of curiosity, what big plans do you have if your not helping your husband build his business. Sleeping in and doing FB or texting all day? Dont think this marriage will be successful nor long.
Last edited by luv my dayton; 11-15-2015 at 04:50 PM..
In the OP she also expressed she never gets to see her friends anymore - that she only keeps up with them via FB. Which implies that she wants to spend time with them otherwise, why mention it at all?
I have ZERO issue with that however. There is nothing wrong with wanting to see your friends a little when you are not seeing them AT ALL. The only issue I have taken is with people taking that comment and changing it to her wanting to sit around all day and do nothing BUT see her friends. Which is a hell of a leap to make. She never said anything of the sort in her first post OR her second one. People are simply making that up.
There is certainly nothing wrong with lamenting never seeing them AT ALL however. Especially if they were as important to her as she describes. It is an issue many people have - attempting to find that work-life balance and right now it appears they have NO balance at all. And this is something worth working on. It is not healthy in the long term to be putting everything into work - and putting ones own social, career and marital life essentially on complete hold.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NWGirl74
As for her career, marital and social life being on hold. They have only had the truck for 6 months.
I am not sure where you are getting that figure. I have read the OP a few times now and she says it is their first YEAR having the truck. Not six months. And nothing else in the OP suggests they have only had it 6 months. Perhaps I have misread something - it happens - so let me know where you got this from so I can correct my error.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND
Wow...Talk about polar opposites. You are seeing things very differently then myself, and a few others.
Too right I am. Because people appear to be making a hell of a lot of stuff up. Whereas my position appears to be only formed by what was in the OP itself. So if some people will make things up - and other people will not - then clearly they are going to see things differently.
I certainly do not see how people are shouting at her to be more supportive - when being supportive is exactly what she HAS been doing - not just in general but in the face of being lied to and misled as to what this business would involve.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND
She is complaining because she only gets to catch up with her H.S. friends via FB and Twitter. She doesn't want to work period.
Not what she said at all. She said she wants to work in the home - that is work. To do the family raising - that is work. And that she wants to get into work with animals - that is also work. I am not sure why it is so difficult for you people to reply to what she actually said - without wantonly going off making up heaps of crap and replying to that instead
Not what she said at all. She said she wants to work in the home - that is work. To do the family raising - that is work. And that she wants to get into work with animals - that is also work. I am not sure why it is so difficult for you people to reply to what she actually said - without wantonly going off making up heaps of crap and replying to that instead
Yes it is work, it just doesn't return a paycheck. When the electric bill or mortgage is due, they want to be paid in money. You can't fold their clothes or make them sandwiches and call it even.
Save this post because five years from now, when you are tired of being an unpaid worker whose entire life revolves around her husband's business and decisions and decide to divorce him, you get half the business since you helped build it.
Also, if your name is not on any of the business papers, it should be. That includes ownership of the truck. If you are working at it just as hard as he is, it should be half yours, too.
Likewise if she bails...She shouldn't.
Maybe the husband should save this thread...to show that she never wanted to be part of this business and this is pretty good evidence of irreconcilable differences.
OP...You have to decide to help your husband to make this successful or quit...You are investing in your future.
Seriously,....There are so many unemployed people who have nothing...You should talk to your parents and maybe you can get some insights that will help you put this in the proper perspective.
And, give this wanting a baby right now some real thought. If you think you are busy now...A baby is 24 hours a day...you will not be hanging out with your friends then either.
Try to sit down and discuss a goal with your husband. Start off telling him you'd like to discuss what the next year will look like...rather than start off simply complaining. He may be more receptive, and participate in the discussion.
No matter what happens in your lives, being able to at least sit down and talk things out is critical. You may even need to go to marriage counseling together, to at least get beyond the hurt you feel, and likely he is feeling too by now.
The best marriages are based on mutual regard of each others feelings, work on that together. Good luck to you
Learned alot about things as this thread got longer. Never did get an answer just a few posts ago when I asked her what plans she had for herself which I thought maybe learning a trade, going back to school etc. Still no response. Then I read she wants a baby! The long and short of it is this. She wanted out from under the authority she was born in. So what does she do marries someone who isnt much younger than what her real dad would be. She was looking for a father figure,some man comes along and saw opportunity (also not very bright). She finds not much is the same as she still has to do something other than giggle and laugh with her friends and take naps off and on. Then the nightmare being she wants a baby which will be a shoe in for her life on assistance when no longer married and she wont have to maybe ever do anything that looks like work. Pity the child. Have heard enough about this girl and already know the end result which isnt anything to brag about. The guy got what he deserved but hes at least trying to accomplish something. The girl got what she deserved and not evening thinking about accomplishing anything and hope to god she cant have a child as the baby hardly deserves this. I must be off as I do have things I do need to accomplish today.
I have ZERO issue with that however. There is nothing wrong with wanting to see your friends a little when you are not seeing them AT ALL. The only issue I have taken is with people taking that comment and changing it to her wanting to sit around all day and do nothing BUT see her friends. Which is a hell of a leap to make. She never said anything of the sort in her first post OR her second one. People are simply making that up.
There is certainly nothing wrong with lamenting never seeing them AT ALL however. Especially if they were as important to her as she describes. It is an issue many people have - attempting to find that work-life balance and right now it appears they have NO balance at all. And this is something worth working on. It is not healthy in the long term to be putting everything into work - and putting ones own social, career and marital life essentially on complete hold.
I am not sure where you are getting that figure. I have read the OP a few times now and she says it is their first YEAR having the truck. Not six months. And nothing else in the OP suggests they have only had it 6 months. Perhaps I have misread something - it happens - so let me know where you got this from so I can correct my error.
Too right I am. Because people appear to be making a hell of a lot of stuff up. Whereas my position appears to be only formed by what was in the OP itself. So if some people will make things up - and other people will not - then clearly they are going to see things differently.
I certainly do not see how people are shouting at her to be more supportive - when being supportive is exactly what she HAS been doing - not just in general but in the face of being lied to and misled as to what this business would involve.
Not what she said at all. She said she wants to work in the home - that is work. To do the family raising - that is work. And that she wants to get into work with animals - that is also work. I am not sure why it is so difficult for you people to reply to what she actually said - without wantonly going off making up heaps of crap and replying to that instead
Alot of defending this girl and wondering if you have any personal relationship with her like maybe a friend of family or father,uncle? No one is going to find much to defend about her. She was looking for a way out from home,and even a man too old for her looked like a sugar daddy to her and she went with it. Both are feeling results of bad decision making. And the way I see they both were using each other.
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