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OK, I'll bite. Are you a shy man? I am, and I've experienced both of those things. I'm 58 years old and I still blush, all the god damned time, and it ceased being cute in 1974. Adult women seem to find my blushing quite humorous, which of course induces more blushing. And so it goes.
I don't find men's attitude toward shy me to be all that helpful either, but then I don't want to **** men, so the consequences for me are different with them.
Having said that, I don't get what exactly the OP is getting at either. Being shy is like any other social disadvantage, the responsibility of the person possessing the disadvantage to change it or to accept it if change isn't possible or desired.
People have pointed and laughed at you because you are shy? Well, then they are a-holes.
No, I'm not a shy man, but I am a fairly shy woman who learned very quickly that I could not be shy if I ever wanted to get anything I wanted out of life.
Your last sentence is spot on. Once one enters adulthood, it's pretty hard to live life as a shy person.
Anything will have a different impact on each individual.
Where do you get that I am denying anything?
I thought I made a clear statement, both genders do the same thing, how one reacts to whatever is as individual as each human.
Sure, things have a different impact on each individual, and some members of each sex will respond similarly to any trait, but some traits will more typically hinder one sex or the other, and shyness is one of them, if only because men typically approach women, something particularly difficult for shy many shy men.
Now I don't expect anything to be done about the problems shy men face, but your first post seemed off base and dismissive.
I don't mind a shy guy. In fact, I have recently connected with a guy who seems kind of shy. He goes two to three days between writing back. But then says he wants to meet and would like to talk to me. I gave him my phone number and email address. I knew he would be cautious about getting in touch too quickly with these and so I will wait and see what happens. It is hard to sort they shy guy out from the ones who just aren't into you, but I'm pretty sure he is "into me" but is just shy and cautious. I hope so anyway because I'm into him (so far).
I was shy at one time in my life. I was told by someone to make and establish direct eye contact with the person with whom I'm speaking. This was because I had a habit of averting my eyes. I'm still slightly shy to a certain point when I first meet someone, but now I keep eye contact! Point is, I have to "warm up" in getting to know someone. Once a rapport is established, the walls come down. A good, friendly back-&-forth conversation permits me to lower my guard and open myself to the person. I just don't spill my life story on the first meet!
Sure, things have a different impact on each individual, and some members of each sex will respond similarly to any trait, but some traits will more typically hinder one sex or the other, and shyness is one of them, if only because men typically approach women, something particularly difficult for shy many shy men.
Now I don't expect anything to be done about the problems shy men face, but your first post seemed off base and dismissive.
People have pointed and laughed at you because you are shy? Well, then they are a-holes.
No, I'm not a shy man, but I am a fairly shy woman who learned very quickly that I could not be shy if I ever wanted to get anything I wanted out of life.
Your last sentence is spot on. Once one enters adulthood, it's pretty hard to live life as a shy person.
Of course they're a-holes, but bringing the a-hole out in people is a trait I'd rather live without. That I live with it still is not for lack of trying, so I generally accept, and occasionally show my frustration.
I was shy at one time in my life. I was told by someone to make and establish direct eye contact with the person with whom I'm speaking. This was because I had a habit of averting my eyes. I'm still slightly shy to a certain point when I first meet someone, but now I keep eye contact! Point is, I have to "warm up" in getting to know someone. Once a rapport is established, the walls come down. A good, friendly back-&-forth conversation permits me to lower my guard and open myself to the person. I just don't spill my life story on the first meet!
Exactly. I'm uncomfortable with people who are not even remotely reserved.
Of course they're a-holes, but bringing the a-hole out in people is a trait I'd rather live without. That I live with it still is not for lack of trying, so I generally accept, and occasionally show my frustration.
I would think that would be a trait you'd want to keep. Isn't it better to find out sooner rather than later that they are a-holes?
I would think that would be a trait you'd want to keep. Isn't it better to find out sooner rather than later that they are a-holes?
I guess that is sort of a silver lining, isn't it? If I could have kept that single aspect of being shy and avoided the social, academic, and professional retardation.........well see now I'm not even being very accepting, am I? Obviously, my thoughts on this, especially at nearly 2 AM, are pretty sour.
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Exactly. I'm uncomfortable with people who are not even remotely reserved. 
