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Old 11-15-2015, 10:23 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,848 posts, read 52,255,090 times
Reputation: 52310

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akonyo View Post
Fair enough. 23 years is a long time though (I was barely alive when you got into that relationship).

So it's possible that you may be out of touch with the current dating scene.

No offense....just sayin'.
I could possibly be out of touch with the current dating scene.... but certain things don't ever go out of style, class, dignity, treating people with respect, being friendly, those sort of things are what should be important.

You read posts here on CD and you don't see as much of that as we should... but I don't care.. I was just talking with mrs. chow and if we ever broke up.. I'd like to think that we'd still be civil toward each other... does it happen...no. but you can at least aim for it....
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Old 11-16-2015, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,278 posts, read 34,402,478 times
Reputation: 73221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
You think a divorced man can't give good relationship advice? He sure as hell can if he has the self awareness to know what he did wrong in the marriage and has changed that behavior. You shouldn't be so quick to dismiss people.
Yup. Same with business.
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Old 11-16-2015, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,278 posts, read 34,402,478 times
Reputation: 73221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post


You read posts here on CD and you don't see as much of that as we should... but I don't care.. I was just talking with mrs. chow and if we ever broke up.. I'd like to think that we'd still be civil toward each other... does it happen...no. but you can at least aim for it....
As much as I like you Chow, if you two split, I get dibs on the Mrs. as the friend I get to keep.

Just don't break up.
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Old 11-16-2015, 09:04 PM
 
Location: usa
1,001 posts, read 1,090,303 times
Reputation: 815
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
I'll agree with the previous poster that single men in their 20s are not big church goers.

I would say that you should keep going to church if you'd like to find a guy 25-30 who would be up for an LTR. Although the quantity might not be there, the ones that you might find there have the potential to be what you are looking for.

Are there any sports that you like to play? Join an organized sports league. Doesn't really matter which one, but I wouldn't start with a new sport just for the point of meeting men. Soccer, volleyball, and softball are good options. You could also take group tennis lessons. Kickball is a pretty common activity but kind of a silly one IMO.

Avoid bars and sites/apps. Meetup groups are an option because you'll find a plethora of men there. However, you'll be meeting a lot of loser guys who are STEM workers with marginal social skills and can't find any girls to date them. Probably best to avoid Meetup.

What's your existing social circle look like? That's a good place to start.
i mean, i'm a programmer, so I'd like to met STEM workers to be honest.

very low at this point. I just graduated college. Been having a hard time making friends.
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Old 11-16-2015, 09:07 PM
 
Location: usa
1,001 posts, read 1,090,303 times
Reputation: 815
Quote:
Originally Posted by Akonyo View Post
You shouldn't have much problem meeting a single professional in such a big metro area.

What profession do you work in? Are you able to meet a man through work or friends? Are you taking any classes, going for a masters? These are places where you will meet the highest quality men.

FWIW, I think what you're doing is very wise. Just about all professional women (I'm also a professional so I know many of them) that I know in successful marriages/long-term relationships met their spouse when they were in their early to mid 20s.
I'm a programmer. there are a lot of men here, and I have been attracted to a few, but it feels unsafe to date them.

Thanks.
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Old 11-16-2015, 09:09 PM
 
Location: usa
1,001 posts, read 1,090,303 times
Reputation: 815
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
So are you finding plenty of guys to date, but not any who want to settle down and make a commitment?

Word to the wise: Many men will TELL you they aren't ready to settle down, but what that really means is they don't want to settle down with you. Don't take it personally.

It's okay to be upfront about your goals, but don't be so upfront that you scare off guys who aren't as goal oriented as you are. Many people meet someone, THEN realize that they are ready to settle down. You are not on a deadline, so focus on finding nice guys that you can have fun with, then let the desire for commitment happen naturally.
i'm not meeting much men in general that show interest in me.
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Old 11-16-2015, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
1,384 posts, read 1,051,826 times
Reputation: 1635
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
I'm a programmer. there are a lot of men here, and I have been attracted to a few, but it feels unsafe to date them.

Thanks.
Why would it be "unsafe"?
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Old 11-16-2015, 09:22 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,940 posts, read 36,716,568 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Akonyo View Post
Why would it be "unsafe"?

If she is talking about coworkers, it is unsafe professionally. It is downright idiotic to date coworkers. I didn't follow the entire thread so if she means something else, negate that.
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Old 11-16-2015, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
1,384 posts, read 1,051,826 times
Reputation: 1635
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
If she is talking about coworkers, it is unsafe professionally. It is downright idiotic to date coworkers. I didn't follow the entire thread so if she means something else, negate that.
Why is dating coworkers "idiotic"?
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Old 11-16-2015, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
1,636 posts, read 1,212,950 times
Reputation: 2701
That whole STEM stereotype is funny. I work in a job at a very large company that requires a STEM degree. (Mostly "E", some "M"). Every single one of those nerdy guys who simply did "ok" at their jobs eventually got married by 30 and became a dad in their early 30s. Most women posting to this little forum couldn't handle us, though. We tend to be a very judgmental and discriminating group.
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