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You can do that and not have your name on the mortgage. In do that, they do a title search looking for liens and judgements against you. If that's cleared up, totally doable.
I do not think that you can inherit his military pension if you are not married. And, Medical?? Not sure you can be put on his medical without marriage either..
And...if he has been married and divorced....His ex will get her share, QDRO when he retires. So, don't start your happy dance just yet. Do your due diligence...
Yes, I certainly know that He has never been married so no worries there. My SO is concerned about me never inheriting his military pension since we are not likely to marry. I fully understand that I won't get his pension unless I marry him. I would not have gotten my husbands law enforcement survivor benefits if we had not married and I also get medical benefits through my late husband for the rest of my life so that isn't an issue and I don't care to give those benefits up ever.
So he's choosing to involve his mentally ill mother in decisionmaking regarding a home purchase that she is in no way financially involved in?
This is a concern. Due to her BPD and abuse through his life by her he and his brother have enmeshment issues. They will frequently let her run roughshod over them rather than risk her making a scene. This is common in children of BPD's. Counseling has helped him in a very short time set up many boundries already. I don't want to make this post about my SO's mom so please DM if you have any other questions as this is a very separate issue. I believe I have answered the financial questions regarding his mother. FYI no she totally WILL NOT be living with us she will be in NC about five hours away. She is scheduled to go into assisted living as soon as her sons can get her affairs in order.
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No, this is absolutely not an internet romance. It is all in person face to face although we do text a lot when he is at work. We even met for the first time in person not on a dating site....LOL His mother has totally zero financial in this house in face my SO owns half her house. I ask because she is mentally ill and has huge issues, but, that is a whole other thread so let me leave it at that.
Thanks for responding. It was just a bit confusing, all the various locations...So...if there is mental illness...he is likely used to working with her around that...Sort of a grin and a nod maybe...and does what he thinks best. It will likely be fine.
Thanks for responding. It was just a bit confusing, all the various locations...So...if there is mental illness...he is likely used to working with her around that...Sort of a grin and a nod maybe...and does what he thinks best. It will likely be fine.
Yes.....exactly!! At least it is his mother haha!! This is probably why he thinks I'm so easy to be around after a lifetime with his mom I actually am
It isn't risky for me at all. I would have to pay some sort of rent wherever I lived so why not here in fact I do a lot better with my SO than anywhere else to be quite honest I refuse to ever marry again and lose my late husbands pension so I have plenty of security so not sure where my risk is at all. I am concerned about moving from MA to SC though since this is new to me, but this is one reason why I'm glad I'm not the one buying the house I could take off if I chose to. My SO will have a job and a mortgage I don't have either of those things anymore.
I moved from MA to SC just this August. I'm finding the transition to be quite easy. I moved with my SO as well, and we settled on an apartment before purchasing. Before moving here, I knew I wanted to go into Real Estate, so I felt comforted by the fact that I had a career secure. Depending on where in MA you are from, I'm finding that this area of SC (I'm currently living in West Ashley), is not so different from Malden, MA, where I grew up. In MA, I always had access to things such as restaurants, shops, downtown (boston), beaches, all within a 15-30 minute drive. I'm finding the same situation here. Depending on what it is you are looking for in a living situation, you may find the same to hold true for you.
As far as what say you have in the home buying process, a previous post had suggested making a list of about 5 things with your SO that are important to you in a home. I'm sure there will be some overlapping in the list. This will help you and him begin the home search. If you have any questions about specific areas here, I could also give you some input on that.
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He has never been married so no worries there. My SO is concerned about me never inheriting his military pension since we are not likely to marry. I fully understand that I won't get his pension unless I marry him. I would not have gotten my husbands law enforcement survivor benefits if we had not married and I also get medical benefits through my late husband for the rest of my life so that isn't an issue and I don't care to give those benefits up ever.
His mother has totally zero financial in this house in face my SO owns half her house. I ask because she is mentally ill and has huge issues, but, that is a whole other thread so let me leave it at that.
Although even that is more than I like....but he handles that part.
MA to SC
I refuse to ever marry again and lose my late husbands pension so I have plenty of security so not sure where my risk is at all
