Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Really, the fact that you are even doing it in person is kind and considerate enough because these days not many would blame you for doing it phone or text, or even better going ghost. The public/private thing is just extra dressing on the salad.
The fact that you may be doing more than what the lowest common denominator is doing "these days" isn't really something to pat yourself on the back for.
Really, the fact that you are even doing it in person is kind and considerate enough because these days not many would blame you for doing it phone or text, or even better going ghost. The public/private thing is just extra dressing on the salad.
It's not, though.
First of all, creating a date-like scenario by taking them out to a restaurant or a park is only going to be a further blow to their emotional response.
Secondly, putting them out in a public situation is either setting them up for humiliation, or robbing them of the opportunity to have an emotional response. The former, if they cry in the middle of the restaurant or park despite their best efforts to maintain control; the latter, if they keep it in until they get home and aren't able to release their emotions.
Look, my last SO dumped me by saying "I don't want this anymore" and hanging up the phone. That's a chicken**** response. Robbing someone else of the opportunity to have a final say is the act of a coward. Maybe they have something to get off their chest? If my ex had actually stuck around to listen to my response, he would have learned that I was semi-relieved because he treated me badly.
I think the truth is that some people don't want to hear negative feedback, so they would rather break up in public or over the phone, or just ghost.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck
It's not, though.
First of all, creating a date-like scenario by taking them out to a restaurant or a park is only going to be a further blow to their emotional response.
Secondly, putting them out in a public situation is either setting them up for humiliation, or robbing them of the opportunity to have an emotional response. The former, if they cry in the middle of the restaurant or park despite their best efforts to maintain control; the latter, if they keep it in until they get home and aren't able to release their emotions.
Look, my last SO dumped me by saying "I don't want this anymore" and hanging up the phone. That's a chicken**** response. Robbing someone else of the opportunity to have a final say is the act of a coward. Maybe they have something to get off their chest? If my ex had actually stuck around to listen to my response, he would have learned that I was semi-relieved because he treated me badly.
I think the truth is that some people don't want to hear negative feedback, so they would rather break up in public or over the phone, or just ghost.
Who would say that you are owed an opportunity to have an emotional response by your EX significant other? Once I say I'm done with the relationship, I owe you basic respect for life as a fellow human being and not a thing else. You can say that is an act of a coward but since I'm an EX now your opinion really doesn't matter to me.
Who would say that you are owed an opportunity to have an emotional response by your EX significant other? Once I say I'm done with the relationship, I owe you basic respect for life as a fellow human being and not a thing else. You can say that is an act of a coward but since I'm an EX now your opinion really doesn't matter to me.
A person is owed the right not to be made a fool of in public, at the very least. If you want to be a jerk and do that, go ahead. If you no longer care about the opinion of another person once you are "done" with them, do as you will. I'm just trying to explain to you that this is not how good men behave.
Just skip the whole "we need to talk" spiel, that's so ridiculous. Just come out and say what you want to say. I also think doing it in a private setting is preferable. If it was someone who was verbally abusive, I'd just send them a text or e-mail, they don't deserve anything more than that.
You really missed my point. You don't really know what someone is capable of until you have to give them some crushing information.
If I were a betting person, I'd wager my last dime that the VAST majority of people who have shown no abusive or violent tendencies during the relationship will not all of a sudden get violent during a break up.
To have a general concern that one would need "witnesses" during a break up? No one is THAT much of a catch.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck
A person is owed the right not to be made a fool of in public, at the very least. If you want to be a jerk and do that, go ahead. If you no longer care about the opinion of another person once you are "done" with them, do as you will. I'm just trying to explain to you that this is not how good men behave.
Good or even decent men don't all behave all one way. I've even admitted on several occasions here that I can be an ahole at times. I'm just speaking on the way that Diss sees life and more than likely I'm not alone in my opinion on this topic. You are stating your opinion which not everyone agrees with. This is the beauty of CD not everyone will agree.
Good or even decent men don't all behave all one way. I've even admitted on several occasions here that I can be an ahole at times. I'm just speaking on the way that Diss sees life and more than likely I'm not alone in my opinion on this topic. You are stating your opinion which not everyone agrees with. This is the beauty of CD not everyone will agree.
So then be an a-hole if you break up with someone. Like you said, you don't care about their opinion afterward, so it doesn't matter.
As for being in good company, go back and look at the posters who have said something similar to what you've said. Oh yeah, you're in good company there.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck
So then be an a-hole if you break up with someone. Like you said, you don't care about their opinion afterward, so it doesn't matter.
As for being in good company, go back and look at the posters who have said something similar to what you've said. Oh yeah, you're in good company there.
You mean like Raptor76 earlier, who I find is usually pretty fair and balanced here?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
