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As I read the comments, I find it interesting how people interpret things different. I'd consider hanging out just simply spending time doing something together. This could be a walk, drinks at a bar, etc.
With all that said, based on these comments i'll probably not use the phrase when talking about dating with someone.
Exactly! It all depends on the person you are asking...how they interpret the question.
Everyone has different opinions of words and how they are used to communicate with others.
When I got back into the dating scene, it was all about .."hook-up, hit me up, hang out"..and my being in my 40's, this all sounded far too casual to me. Especially if they were coming from someone my age. I didn't want to use that language ....to manage my dating life.
Communication is vital to establish if anything is even going to the next level.
I had no intention of just being some guys booty call.
It took me a while but to figure out this very obvious fact, but most of the time when arguments here break out a good percentage of the time it comes down to generational differences, I used to really rail and rant and fight with the younger people about things, but I've said **** it and that it basically boils down to people just being raised differently and while sometimes it really irks the hell out of me, I'm trying to just write it off as what I just said.
Things like this "hang out" it really is just a way for a man to get some trim and not have any sort of responsibility or accountability to the woman and her feelings, he can just hit it and leave without any real reason, cause hey "they were just hanging out" right, I know it goes both ways, but I'm a man so I'm saying it from that perspective. Yeah, I get that people don't have to be in love or even committed to have sex, but you see the lowering of the bar and the lowering of personal responsibility for your actions, I mean most people develop feelings at some point if you have enough P to V time, not always but more often than not it happens and then someone is always left somewhat hurt, and thanks to "hanging out" no one feels like they owe anyone anything for it.
IDK... maybe I'm just getting old, but I'm seeing too much of a lowering of the bar for standards of conduct, I think people should judge a bit at least it helped to keep people more on the right path, I mean what is it with all of the baby mamma stuff, again another thing, if a man goes around impregnating women and just gets off willy nilly from his obligations, I say this as a person that doesn't want to have to pay welfare and child support and all of the social costs of men going around "hitting it and quitting it" same goes for the women.... women are the ones left holding the bag and the ultimate victims are the poor kids left without a two parent environment, not always, but damn.. I'd venture to say most of the time.
I agree with what you are saying, that "hang out" is a weak way to not have accountability. But I also think this "hang out" stuff can work against men too. Look at all the "Friendzone" treads. Sounds to me like young men are asking women to "hang out" thinking it's a date and then the woman thinks they are "just hanging out and not on a date" and thinks, "oh, I thought we were friends."
Maybe if the young guys would just ask women out on a date there wouldn't be all this ambiguous confusion about love interest vs. friend vs. whatever. Asking out on a date gives your clear intent. And a woman will either say yes or no to it, no in-between so called "friendzone" ever where one things they are friends and the other thinks they are dating happens (at least not as much anyway).
Then again, I may just be an old curmudgeon just like you. Maybe we should hang out and yell at the kids to get off our lawns together Chow. lol
I laugh at how our expectations of others can be so downright ridiculous. If a women say's that she would decline an offer from some hot guy who she is very attracted to, because he say's, "do you want to hang out?" I call bull sh t. In the end, I think it still depends on how much the person likes who's doing the asking. It is that simple. We can shucks, and say that we prefer this and that, but at the end of the day what really matters is who is doing the asking. I've said let's hang out to girls for all sorts of reasons. Some were to get to know them for a relationship. Some where to just hit it. Every situation is different and entirely unique. Never had a girl get mad by the way that I ask them out. Never, not one time.
In my opinion, opinions on City data don't jive with real life. Not one bit.
Mind you, any girl who wouldn't date me simply because I said do you want to hang out? To me is simply high maintenance and not worth my time anyways. That's just my opinion.
So, other people's experiences and preferences are "wrong"? Interesting.
That precise pickiness is a complete turnoff. Get off the high horse. Not saying anything about other's preferences, simply stating mine. And I stand by what I said. If you were into the guy, you would not decline merely for the way he said it. If you would, then that's probably not his loss.
What I am saying is that is not the deciding factor. Not if you were really attracted to him. Don't buy it. If he did nothing for you, ok, I'll buy it.
A lot of young guys will have their heads spinning reading this site if they didn't know any better. My god, asking women out on here you would have better luck winning the lotto." Better make sure you say everything perfect for their liking, or the "all mighty women" will decline. Lol, sure.
Some women are just lucky to get asked out. Forget how you go about it. Most would be flattered if honest with just being asked out.
I'm saying that I have dated a ton of women in my life and the way I phrase things NEVER had any impact in their replies. Never even heard of such nonsense. Only on City-data, where the men still can't get it right no matter what he does.
That precise pickiness is a complete turnoff. Get off the high horse. Not saying anything about other's preferences, simply stating mine. And I stand by what I said. If you were into the guy, you would not decline merely for the way he said it. If you would, then that's probably not his loss.
Yup, if I were into the guy merely for his looks and only wanted a carnal hook up, I certainly wouldn't care much about how he asks.
On the other hand, if I'm interested in a more lasting thing, how he asks and approaches things takes on more importance. I'm simply not interested in pursuing something serious with someone whose idea of asking me out on a date has anything to do with "hanging out". As I mentioned upthread, this really is NOT a high bar to get over. If someone thinks that I'm "too picky" for setting that bar, it simply shows that we're not compatible.
That precise pickiness is a complete turnoff. Get off the high horse. Not saying anything about other's preferences, simply stating mine. And I stand by what I said. If you were into the guy, you would not decline merely for the way he said it. If you would, then that's probably not his loss.
What I am saying is that is not the deciding factor. Not if you were really attracted to him. Don't buy it. If he did nothing for you, ok, I'll buy it.
A lot of young guys will have their heads spinning reading this site if they didn't know any better. My god, asking women out here you would have better luck winning the lotto. Better make sure you say everything perfect for their liking, or the "all mighty women" will decline. Lol, sure.
I'm saying that I have dated a ton of women in my life and the way I phrase things NEVER had any impact in their replies. Never even heard of such nonsense. Only on City-data, where the men still can't get it right no matter what he does.
Everyone has their preferences, that's true. But I still think that maybe, just maybe asking someone to "hang out" is ambiguous because friends also hang out. I don't read it as being preference for being picky so much as a woman has a preference for clarity... friends or lovers? I have to ask since I don't know (I always just ask out on a date and gotten a clear yes or no) and you have had success asking to "hang out." Is there ever any confusion where you ended up being "friendzoned" because of your preference?
Yup, if I were into the guy merely for his looks and only wanted a carnal hook up, I certainly wouldn't care much about how he asks.
On the other hand, if I'm interested in a more lasting thing, how he asks and approaches things takes on more importance. I'm simply not interested in pursuing something serious with someone whose idea of asking me out on a date has anything to do with "hanging out". As I mentioned upthread, this really is NOT a high bar to get over. If someone thinks that I'm "too picky" for setting that bar, it simply shows that we're not compatible.
What if the guy is just kind of shy? You don't factor in any of that? It's not ok for some guys to tread lightly? Every guy has to act like a person with extreme confidence? How about so many of you women who won't even ask a guy out, yet have all these specific requirements for how they should ask you out? Still not buying it.
If It were your crush, I don't think it would matter how he said it.
I think on some level, you guys went a little too far on this one, and are secretly trying to buy the bull sh t, that you are selling. Just not buying it. Young guys, don't buy it. Women in real life aren't this picky "If" they like you back. And if they don't like you back, it doesn't really matter how you go about it. It either is, or it isn't, barring some exceptions.
Last edited by johnnyb1980; 11-30-2015 at 09:54 AM..
What I am saying is that is not the deciding factor. Not if you were really attracted to him. Don't buy it. If he did nothing for you, ok, I'll buy it.
Who are you to say what a "deciding factor" is for me?
"Real attraction" for me is about way more than physical beauty. Personally, I find the term "hang out" extremely wishy-washy and I have a visceral "gah" reaction when I hear it. Where I live, in the Puget Sound region of western Washington State, the phrase "let's hang out sometime" pretty much means that someone wants you off their back, and that the "hanging out" is never going to happen.
As far as I'm concerned, if a man cannot come up with a relatively concrete plan for a date before he asks me out, we're simply not going to get along for the long term.
Quote:
Originally Posted by slipperyslope93
A lot of young guys will have their heads spinning reading this site if they didn't know any better. My god, asking women out on here you would have better luck winning the lotto." Better make sure you say everything perfect for their liking, or the "all mighty women" will decline. Lol, sure.
Those poor "young guys". Honestly, I'd be more concerned about people believing some of the tripe spewed on here as "universal truths" than with people obviously speaking about how things work within their own relationships.
Quote:
Originally Posted by slipperyslope93
Some women are just lucky to get asked out. Forget how you go about it. Most would be flattered if honest with just being asked out.
I'm eternally thankful that I'm past the point in life where I'm just happy to "take what I can get".
Quote:
Originally Posted by slipperyslope93
I'm saying that I have dated a ton of women in my life and the way I phrase things NEVER had any impact in their replies. Never even heard of such nonsense. Only on City-data, where the men still can't get it right no matter what he does.
As I have had precisely zero issues either in getting dates or being in relationships over the past 15 years, I'd say at least some men are "getting it right".
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