No kissing after the third date, what to do? (girl, children, casual)
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I might be getting old I don't know. I had a pretty good date last Sunday with an attractive lady. We had dinner at a local restaurant. As we left I didn't hug or kiss. Didn't want to make things awkward so I didn't go for a hug or kiss or anything. I'm 34 and she's 33 so about the same age.
All these rules to the dating world. What to do and what not to do. It's exhausting.
So I guess if there's not kiss by the third date then it's time to move on.
I'm around your same age and feel the exact same way. All the dating rules of what to do/ not do and when to do them are exhausting. I definitely hugged my date after our first date, we did brunch. But nothing more than that because nothing more would seem natural.
I usually like to get to know my dates as friends first, so ordinarily I wasn't expecting to kiss on the second date and I wouldn't have expected it from my date either, since we barely know each other. But after reading all the "rules" I decided to kiss on the second date because I didn't want to risk losing her. It was moving a little quick for my normal pace, but she was receptive so it worked out.
I am no recent expert, but back in the day, we used to just do what felt right at the time, without a set date quota. If I agree to go on a date 3 times, I would think I was attracted enough to kiss someone. Even if we were friends only, I'd be hugging hello or goodbye by that time.
Now if you are a young person, chances are you'll be in the sack by the second date if the attraction is there.
I'd be most concerned about the time space between dates. In the early stages of dating, you should be seeing each other about every 3-5 days.
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Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
I told the guy I just met that I wouldn't be available for the next two weeks when he asked for a second date.
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Originally Posted by Opin_Yunated
wish I could do that.... lol. Once per week is a stretch these days...
I actually agree with RJ that in the early stages, you should see each other more often. However, I also know reality is that it isn't always feasible.
I was about to disable my profile when I got a message from someone who actually seems to know the English language (funny, since he's not a native English speaker) AND actually read my profile. I almost declined the first date, which was last Wednesday because I am working a ton of OT right now, my weekends are booked with holiday events and where I work days, he works nights - and we only have one day off in common. And I did tell him upfront before we met and again on our date where I was at.
Second date is supposed to be next Monday (14th), almost two weeks after the first. And that's only because something else got cancelled for that evening. If that happens, and goes well, I can next see him on the 22nd in the two hour window between when I get off work and he goes to work.
I find when I have no time to date, I will get a message or two from someone who seems worth meeting. However, when I have all the time in the world...crickets.
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Originally Posted by Mikelee81
I might be getting old I don't know. I had a pretty good date last Sunday with an attractive lady...As we left I didn't hug or kiss. Didn't want to make things awkward so I didn't go for a hug or kiss or anything. I'm 34 and she's 33 so about the same age.
All these rules to the dating world. What to do and what not to do. It's exhausting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts
I am no recent expert, but back in the day, we used to just do what felt right at the time, without a set date quota. If I agree to go on a date 3 times, I would think I was attracted enough to kiss someone. Even if we were friends only, I'd be hugging hello or goodbye by that time.
Guy from above greeted me with a hug. It was actually very awkward. Hugged me at the end of the date too and again, it felt very awkward.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Opin_Yunated
No kissing after the 1st date = not interested.
Not necessarily. I'm willing to give the guy I met last week a second glance as he seemed as though he may have been nervous and/or shy. However, I do admit I wasn't "feeling it" and was leaning more towards hoping he didn't try to kiss me at the end of the date than hoping that he did.
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Originally Posted by ItsRick24
Sorry, but you're moving waaaay too slow....
By the second date, you should be kissing - that is, if you're serious about this girl. By the third date, you should be "horizontal" with her, if you get my drift. Sounds like you're too easily intimidated; if you don't make moves, and I mean soon, another guy will. Get on with it if you want to continue with this girl!
So if you don't feel you want to get horizontal by the 3rd date, should there just not be one?
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Originally Posted by timberline742
Kissing? I can't recall the last time I met someone that wanted to go on a second date if we weren't making out on the first date. It has to be at least a decade.
And I don't recall ever having been kissed on a first date by someone who asked me out for a second. They all waited. Even my late hubby didn't kiss me on the first date - and he had the perfect opportunity as our first date was a NYE party!
You don't have to be kissed at all. But no reason on keeping dating someone that doesn't want to jump your bones. Kissing? I can't recall the last time I met someone that wanted to go on a second date if we weren't making out on the first date. It has to be at least a decade.
Are you serious? Why the rush? This is weird to me that you have to kiss on a first date to call it a succes.
Guy from above greeted me with a hug. It was actually very awkward. Hugged me at the end of the date too and again, it felt very awkward.
Yeah I figure I did the right thing. As we left the restaurant she was being cute walking close next to me. Maybe that was a sign she would have been receptive to a hug or something. I'm sure she was thinking of the often awkward departure as well. Throughout the entire date, she was very level headed, so I figured being forward like attempting to hug or whatever would make her feel uncomfortable. So I just thanked her for spending some time with me and followed up letting her know I was interested in meeting again.
She has communicated with me since the date stating she enjoyed the date and would like to do something again. So I must have done something right.
I might be getting old I don't know. I had a pretty good date last Sunday with an attractive lady. We had dinner at a local restaurant. As we left I didn't hug or kiss. Didn't want to make things awkward so I didn't go for a hug or kiss or anything. I'm 34 and she's 33 so about the same age.
All these rules to the dating world. What to do and what not to do. It's exhausting.
So I guess if there's not kiss by the third date then it's time to move on.
No dinner dates until you are an established couple.
I'm around your same age and feel the exact same way. All the dating rules of what to do/ not do and when to do them are exhausting. I definitely hugged my date after our first date, we did brunch. But nothing more than that because nothing more would seem natural.
I usually like to get to know my dates as friends first, so ordinarily I wasn't expecting to kiss on the second date and I wouldn't have expected it from my date either, since we barely know each other. But after reading all the "rules" I decided to kiss on the second date because I didn't want to risk losing her. It was moving a little quick for my normal pace, but she was receptive so it worked out.
I'm a little leery of the getting to know women as friends first as I have fallen victim way too often to the proverbial 'friend zone'. There is something I've done way too often that's worked against me and this is one of them.
So going for a kiss on the 2nd or 3rd date if the opportunity is there and natural might not be such a bad idea if things are going to be determined at the romantic level.
I would have bailed after date 2 too prude for me.
I ended up ending it with the last woman I was dating for this reason. Absolutely no affection whatsoever except for a small hug initially after 5 dates.
No dinner dates until you are an established couple.
I initially offered to meet up for drinks. That didn't fly so with the time she presented she was available I suggested one of the local restaurant/pubs. I met her at a bar initially so I was hoping for a more casual setting. Get some drinks and get some food. It was Sunday night so a quiet night. We talked a bit and seemed to have good chemistry. She has kids so this was the time she could meet if we were going to meet.
So it maybe worked ok for the first date, but agreed I need to find a different setting for the second.
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