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No, please dont get me wrong. I just think that I might have read into it way more than there actually is. And he might have just needed more time to get to know me better to finally become more affectionate
Honey.
You can call me crazy, full of it, a romantic dreamer, whatever you want.
But this IS my experience:
If a guy really is into you he'll manage to get to you no matter what you say, do, wear, no matter how "fast" or "slow" you want to go...if he wants you he will rent a steamroller to drive over cars to get to you. (Okay, not literally for that last part. Or at least hopefully, LOL! But you get what I'm saying.)
If he had really been eager he'd have found a way and it's likely that you wouldn't have felt insecure in the first place. (And no, I'm not putting this on the OP's ex, saying he's "to blame" for her insecurities...just saying...overall, IME, when a person is really wanted that person KNOWS it.)
People may disagree with me on this but it's my experience. A guy who really wants a woman - and doesn't have some sort of crippling social phobia - will find a way to keep in touch with her, contact her, try to make her laugh, keep himself VISIBLE to her as much as he possibly can. When they're together, he'll be trying to physically get in her space, not creepily and scarily, but he'll find excuses to stand next to her...brush her arm with his...hang an arm around her shoulders...or whatever.
Now, do some people take longer to warm up than others? Sure. But it sounds as if you, OP, and this guy had gotten pretty darned warm already. I don't see hesitance and needing to "get to know you better" as a hindrance to affection in light of that.
Move on. Find a guy who will make you feel amazing!
You can call me crazy, full of it, a romantic dreamer, whatever you want.
But this IS my experience:
If a guy really is into you he'll manage to get to you no matter what you say, do, wear, no matter how "fast" or "slow" you want to go...if he wants you he will rent a steamroller to drive over cars to get to you. (Okay, not literally for that last part. Or at least hopefully, LOL! But you get what I'm saying.)
If he had really been eager he'd have found a way and it's likely that you wouldn't have felt insecure in the first place. (And no, I'm not putting this on the OP's ex, saying he's "to blame" for her insecurities...just saying...overall, IME, when a person is really wanted that person KNOWS it.)
People may disagree with me on this but it's my experience. A guy who really wants a woman - and doesn't have some sort of crippling social phobia - will find a way to keep in touch with her, contact her, try to make her laugh, keep himself VISIBLE to her as much as he possibly can. When they're together, he'll be trying to physically get in her space, not creepily and scarily, but he'll find excuses to stand next to her...brush her arm with his...hang an arm around her shoulders...or whatever.
Now, do some people take longer to warm up than others? Sure. But it sounds as if you, OP, and this guy had gotten pretty darned warm already. I don't see hesitance and needing to "get to know you better" as a hindrance to affection in light of that.
Move on. Find a guy who will make you feel amazing!
He did hold my hand on the couch or in the movies the entire time. and he moved his arm around me, he was physically in my space
No, please dont get me wrong. I just think that I might have read into it way more than there actually is. And he might have just needed more time to get to know me better to finally become more affectionate
WOW this is very sad. I have never had a guy treat me like this guy treated you. I have much more respect for myself then you do. I would never ever have put up with a guy who is constantly hounding me for sex while at the same time lying to me and degrading me in front of others.
You can chose losers to date or you can find men who are respectable. It's really quite simple.
He did hold my hand on the couch or in the movies the entire time. and he moved his arm around me, he was physically in my space
So what that really meant nothing as we all know from how he treated you...that's the game guys play when they want to "get in your pants" as you put it.
You will end up just like your mothers situation if you don't get help.
well he dumped me or it is anyway over since he blogged me and no I wouldnt have contacted him again. It is really just that I think that maybe we might have been happy together or maybe he might have been the one if I wouldnt have snooped. Cause I think that maybe those texts he send to this girl didnt mean anything. maybe he did not physically meet up with her maybe it was just talk and he just need some ego boost via just talking to another girl
My sister used to think that way but it didn't happened to her, happy together part. She did a lot of snooping as well. Considered yourselves lucky being dumped. Move on, there are lots of great guys out there.
Last edited by NewbieHere; 11-23-2015 at 09:14 PM..
No, please dont get me wrong. I just think that I might have read into it way more than there actually is. And he might have just needed more time to get to know me better to finally become more affectionate
If you had just let him use you longer, perhaps he would have developed real feelings for you? And then what? He would have still been a lying jerk.
Plus, it just doesn't work that way. If he respected you as a person, he would not have used you the way he did. Because he does not respect you, he can not love you.
You can call me crazy, full of it, a romantic dreamer, whatever you want.
But this IS my experience:
If a guy really is into you he'll manage to get to you no matter what you say, do, wear, no matter how "fast" or "slow" you want to go...if he wants you he will rent a steamroller to drive over cars to get to you. (Okay, not literally for that last part. Or at least hopefully, LOL! But you get what I'm saying.)
If he had really been eager he'd have found a way and it's likely that you wouldn't have felt insecure in the first place. (And no, I'm not putting this on the OP's ex, saying he's "to blame" for her insecurities...just saying...overall, IME, when a person is really wanted that person KNOWS it.)
People may disagree with me on this but it's my experience. A guy who really wants a woman - and doesn't have some sort of crippling social phobia - will find a way to keep in touch with her, contact her, try to make her laugh, keep himself VISIBLE to her as much as he possibly can. When they're together, he'll be trying to physically get in her space, not creepily and scarily, but he'll find excuses to stand next to her...brush her arm with his...hang an arm around her shoulders...or whatever.
Now, do some people take longer to warm up than others? Sure. But it sounds as if you, OP, and this guy had gotten pretty darned warm already. I don't see hesitance and needing to "get to know you better" as a hindrance to affection in light of that.
Move on. Find a guy who will make you feel amazing!
But if you guys only made good experiences with men did you both end up with the one and only?? I am just curious.
I have not read the entire thread but I am going to guess you are STILL making excuses why you NEED
to stay with this guy right?
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