Having Children and Age...

[M3 Mitch]

Originally Posted by RunD1987

Fiancé and I are marrying next year. Fiancé is finishing college at the end of college next year. Will then return shortly after a 6 month hiatus to advance her degree. Myself I am in school interminably planning to return full time and work part time in next 18/20 month's.

We're planning to live in a off unit part of my future MIL place where only playing $300 of rent a month, food, and utilities. Additionally, when my fiancé finishes college probably make about $25 an hour about $3 more an hour than myself.

As of right now combined bills is about $1500 a month.

Fiancé flips back and forth wanting kid's right after the wedding. I told my fiancé what about waiting till we finish college and more stable.

I mean if we have kids in between I be okay with that.

Fiancé is upset that I want to wait for kid's till 30/31.

What's your thoughts on the situation?

Call it off, don't marry her, that's what I think. She's financially illiterate to say the least.

[BayAreaHillbilly]

Originally Posted by 2mares

What is not being able to afford kids?
Being on welfare or not make 650K?
Is there a middle ground.

Not being done with college and making 20something an hour is quite a bit closer to welfare than 650K.

[reneeh63]

Originally Posted by RunD1987

Not sure where it's going to go from here. Fiancé is depressed crying sad. Overwhelmed with school and feeling that she will never bear children that at her age now her time has passed.

Sigh not sure what to do.

Slow it down! This behavior is bordering on neurotic. She needs to talk to her ob/gyn and get straightened out on fertility ages of women - oh, I know, all the women in her family have trouble getting pregnant, blah blah - doesn't mean a thing.

Sounds to me like her plan to go to school isn't working out (on purpose?) so if she can't immediately have kids she has no role in life. She is in no shape to have kids right now. Frankly, if you aren't in agreement on kids, why are you engaged? Aren't those issues to settle BEFORE you agree to get married?

Or is she rushing through this because she also has a "date" after which she's decided she is no longer marriageable? She's living her life on a made-up arbitrary timeline and you're just along for the ride because you were there at the right time? I really hope not, but you may need to take a step back before things get totally out of hand. She could wind up pregnant before you're married....

[melovescookies]

30/31 is actually the perfect age to have kids so I don't know what she's freaking out about. Maybe she could buy some ovulation test strips to find out if she ovulating regularly. Perhaps she'll calm down once she finds out that she's still fertile.

Anyway, there's no guarantee that she'll get pregnant at any age but I think you should do your best to get your finances in order before having babies. Daycare is super expensive for a newborn can cost anywhere between $150 and $400 a week depending on where you live. Just so you know, I had my first at 17 and my second at 37 and it's been a lot easier to take care of a baby in my late thirties.