Kiss after X dates? (clubs, conversation, serious, sensitive)
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Depending on one's upbringing and perceptions of social decorum, there may be a process of slow escalation towards intimacy.
But this isn't the same as conveying to one's date the impression of having sincere interest, while in reality having no such sincerity because the person in question is insufficiently appealing, or otherwise suboptimal. In fact this begs a deeper question: if one is so ready to dismiss a prospect for being insufficiently attractive, then why bother dating him/her at all?
If two people are mutually attracted, but for whatever reason squeamish or diffident, perhaps there's reason to wait before kissing. How long is too long? There are no steadfast criteria. But if one person desires to kiss, while the other does not, we have an impasse and a "relationship" likely without a future.
This would make sense to me if attraction wasn't so dynamic and fluid. For me, attraction isn't immediate and it isn't stagnant. It can blossom or wither, as I get to know a person. That's why I often accepted dates from men whom I did not feel instant chemistry with, or didn't think they were my type at first glance. I was often pleasantly surprised. It happened often enough where I learned not to write off a guy, just because I didn't think we were a match within the first 5 minutes.
The kiss makes a difference. It's a pretty important thing, for me, and can sway my level of attraction significantly. I don't think I've ever gone for more than 2 or 3 dates without a kiss. I don't have any rules about it, but my dates have always kissed me by the 3rd date, as far as I can recall.
As a grown woman, I can't see myself having a second date with someone who didn't find me compelling enough to kiss/accept a kiss on the first date. If there is chemistry, there will be a kiss. If there is no chemistry, I'm not going to be dating them.
Must cut down your dating pool a lot!
I must point out this is a terrible way to handle things. Like another poster mentioned lot of guys may feel all that but not take action on the first date. Perfectly normal, in my most recent 2 dates one I knew I could kiss on the first date but choose not to, I wanted to build the tension. The last date the girl made the move on me as our night was ending.
The reason I bring it up, is because people make such a big deal about herpes from sex, but give herpes from kissing almost no thought.
Kind of ironic how many people are horrified that they might get herpes from unprotected sex when they are kissing people they barely know so readily. More people have mouth herpes than people have it in their genital area.
The reason I bring it up, is because people make such a big deal about herpes from sex, but give herpes from kissing almost no thought.
Kind of ironic how many people are horrified that they might get herpes from unprotected sex when they are kissing people they barely know so readily. More people have mouth herpes than people have it in their genital area.
So how long should you wait to kiss someone in order to determine whether they have herpes?
So how long should you wait to kiss someone in order to determine whether they have herpes?
Depends on whether or not you care about it. If you care, I would guess maybe after you talk to the person about having mouth herpes (kind of how you might talk about STDs before having sex).
Depends on whether or not you care about it. If you care, I would guess maybe after you talk to the person about having mouth herpes (kind of how you might talk about STDs before having sex).
I can't imagine asking someone about herpes (if they had no visible signs of herpes) before kissing. I'd rather just go ahead and do it and disinfect my lips afterwards if I was really worried (which I'm not).
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