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OP,
if you do decide to ask your brother if he is seeing someone,
please do so in private. I hate when people ask me these questions in front of everyone.
Maybe he has other priorities, maybe he just doesn't want to share with you. I went through periods in my life where I didn't date anyone because I was focused on other things. I've also never shared a lot of my dating life with family either, especially during the early stages. My family didn't meet my current G/F until I had been dating her for six months or so.
The OP still hasn't told us how she "knows" he hasn't dated much in 5 years. I question whether she really knows that.
Even so, it's a lousy thing to do to someone, call them gay or think they're gay or discuss the possibility they're gay with family, just because they haven't been seen much with the opposite sex. It's just dumb.
I thought the OP was a man. But since the OP profile is private. What do I know
He is good looking, fit, athletic, has a large group of friends, was in a college fraternity, is very social, outgoing, funny, etc. So it is very very odd that he has not had a girlfriend, and has rarely even dated anyone in the last 5 years. He does not act feminine in anyway (I know that many gay guys don't), he loves sports, he was in the military and is now in law enforcement...stuff that just doesn't scream "gay." But he hardly ever dates women. I know of only two women he briefly and casually dated, and the last girlfriend he had was in 2010 and that didn't last long either. I've recently talked about this with other family and they all think it is odd. Thoughts?
Have you checked "The guidebook for gays" maybe he has not read the requirements.
Must act feminine.
Must like Broadway shows
Must like to cook
Hates all sports except figure skating.
Must be sharped dresses at all times.
Either your brother doesn't know the rules or maybe you are paranoid that he might be gay.
I don't understand why people care?! I am bi, so maybe I have different perspective, but I just wouldn't care if my brother/sister is dating or not dating anyone. It's their life, it's their choice, and when it's family your relationship with that individual isn't based at all if they are dating someone or not or if they are gay or straight. Really, who cares?
The only time I would care is if I saw my brother was getting very depressed because he is lonely. Then I would try to help. BUT, if that's not the case, and he is happy being single, let them do as they wish, and focus on your relationship with him rather other than why he is single.
What if he is? Would that bother you? It's none of your business if he is, unless you want to find him someone.
Maybe he prefers "casual encounters" over actual relationships because he's not ready to commit for whatever reason.
Someone I dated has been "single" for years, it doesn't mean he's gay. He's not. He's as straight as it gets.
I am a woman who has been single for two years. Does that make me gay or sound like I am having an identity crisis? No. Sometimes, life takes over and you're busy with more important things which require your full attention. The lack of interest in committing to someone coupled with the disinterest in prospects who come your way could be the answer to your question. I know this is what a lot of people in their twenties/thirties go through.
It could be he is going on dates which go nowhere and therefore doesn't feel the need to disclose anything to you. My friends thought I was completely "single" at some point when I was going on dates which led to nothing. Hence, I didn't feel the need to tell them.
Regardless, his dating life is his business, not yours.
He is good looking, fit, athletic, has a large group of friends, was in a college fraternity, is very social, outgoing, funny, etc. So it is very very odd that he has not had a girlfriend, and has rarely even dated anyone in the last 5 years. He does not act feminine in anyway (I know that many gay guys don't), he loves sports, he was in the military and is now in law enforcement...stuff that just doesn't scream "gay." But he hardly ever dates women. I know of only two women he briefly and casually dated, and the last girlfriend he had was in 2010 and that didn't last long either. I've recently talked about this with other family and they all think it is odd. Thoughts?
Maybe he is seeing different women on the down low? I know some of the women I've dated in the past I wouldn't want to bring around my family.
As others have suggested, if this concerns you so much, just ask him about his love life.
He is good looking, fit, athletic, has a large group of friends, was in a college fraternity, is very social, outgoing, funny, etc. So it is very very odd that he has not had a girlfriend, and has rarely even dated anyone in the last 5 years. He does not act feminine in anyway (I know that many gay guys don't), he loves sports, he was in the military and is now in law enforcement...stuff that just doesn't scream "gay." But he hardly ever dates women. I know of only two women he briefly and casually dated, and the last girlfriend he had was in 2010 and that didn't last long either. I've recently talked about this with other family and they all think it is odd. Thoughts?
Maybe he only claimed two women and he's been knocking them out of the park on a regular basis.
What if he likes black women and your family disapproves? Maybe he likes Asian women? I'm white and I've "dated" more Asian women than white women. I've "dated" a couple of black women.
I know though my family wouldn't be too happy if I married someone who is not white.
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