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1. I wouldn't assume you're as compatible as you think. Sometimes people lie about their interests and hobbies and tell stories, just to get what they want.
2. You're completely right about breaking it off. You can't get mad at him for having children at 45, but not telling you until later is kind of a red flag.
3 He might just have been playing you to get you in bed.
This! I always worry when people lie about having children! Be glad it ended sooner rather than later.
As usual, some of turn to the boards when we feel desperate or need some consolation.
I am a 35 year old woman who met a handsome man of age 45 online just over 2 weeks ago.
We instantly connected, I have never met anyone so similiar to me. Infact, I didn't think such a person existed. Our thinking style, hobbies, interests, likes/dislikes are very identicle which is almost scary to both of us.
So, as it felt natural we decided to see each other and instantly hit it off, after the first date we thought we should see where it takes us.
After a few dates I spent the weekend at his, it was perfect, this experience nailed everything and it became clearer we are well suited and very much alike.
We made love but this is when I felt he was most focused on his desires/needs as opposed to mine but I brushed it as a first time experience.
The next day he confessed he had offspring from 2 previous relationships which really took me back. I was absolutely shocked but after much convincing I decided I'd still give him a chance.
We were on another date a few days ago and it was the most romantic date possible, he held my hand and made me feel very much loved and special, I felt serenaded. However he was rather upset and told me he had a court case the next day and problems at work so I knew he was stressed. This didn't affect the date and I ended up at his in the evening.
Again, we had sex and at no point did he attempt to tender to my needs. Once finished he said he wasn't very turned on at all. I took this very personally and after seething for 10 mins I told him in going home and walked out.
I then messaged him and told him he's a very selfish lover and that I don't see any sexual compatibility.
He responded with an apology and that he has alot on his mind.
The next day I felt terrible and asked if he was okay. He responded with "yes" and blocked me shortly after.
Question - am I in the wrong and jumped the gun? Or am I correct in thinking he really is selfish sexually and soon after this would transcend into the potential relationship?
Or... Have I just been played?
Sounds like a real trophy winner there. My guess is in time you won't miss not being with him
Yeah, actually even before we were intimate he mentioned he rarely enjoys sex the first few times and he finds hids partner and sex more enjoyable as they progress further.
I'm sure. That's when he breaks out the gags and ropes.
Yeah, actually even before we were intimate he mentioned he rarely enjoys sex the first few times and he finds hids partner and sex more enjoyable as they progress further.
It is not that weird actually.
I am not saying anything about the rest of his behavior, but this is something that is plausible and occurs more than people think.
It is not that weird actually.
I am not saying anything about the rest of his behavior, but this is something that is plausible and occurs more than people think.
Yeah and I understand this too to a certain extent which is why I felt a little bad for stomping out on him and then suggesting we are sexually incompatible.
On the other hand, the lack of effort sexually (on the second occasion) makes me feel not so bad upon reflection. I felt used, wham bam thank you mam.
If youre stressed out and thus not entirely in the mood then Id rather you tell me upfront instead of making me feel like a worthless and used piece of *****.
The fact that he decided to block me instead of making any effort to explain his part just shows he doesnt give a crap. His loss, not mine. Im extremely confident, very supportive, and loyal without any extra baggage or emotional/mental drama. If he can't stand up to the plate, its his problem, not mine.
This is my outlook.
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I always worry when people lie about having children! Be glad it ended sooner rather than later.
