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Old 12-11-2015, 03:01 AM
 
75 posts, read 55,856 times
Reputation: 34

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Some of you might remember my history with my now ex gf.To make a long story short I had sex with a gay friend of mine after a deal with my gf.Anyhow that triggered a huge series of events that lead me to break up with my gf .Subsequently I started to seriously question my sexual orientation.Until recently I thought I was straight.

The past few days I am in a relationship with that guy who like I said has been a close friend of mine for many years.I started developing feelings for him shortly after our sexual adventure and its the first time I find my self attracted to a man.Anyhow I dont care so much about that.I am going with the flow as much as I can.What is really freaking me out is how do I go about explaining all this mess to my friends,family,etc.They know me as a straight guy who has never shown interest in anything but women...

My bf is currently ''tutoring'' me around coming out.Still he was always open about being gay and I feel he cant really understand what a huge change this is for me.I am sure I am not gay meaning I am attracted to women and he is the only man I feel sexually and emotionally attracted to.I know its weird but I dont want to label my self.I just enjoy being with him and have no intention of breaking it off.

Now, how do I explain this to other people in my life?

Please keep it civil and PG-13 because last time I got an infraction about my thread.

Last edited by DudeAth34; 12-11-2015 at 03:10 AM..
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Old 12-11-2015, 03:38 AM
 
3 posts, read 4,028 times
Reputation: 15
Hey there, I'm in a similar situation as you, although I have never been in a relationship with a woman. I had a secret relationship with my best friend (a guy) for 10 years, and none of our friends or family know about it. He ended it with me a few months back because he didn't feel comfortable being with another guy, and he wanted to have a "normal" life and start a family. That was heart broke, and it took me a while to get back up. I'm not sure if he's gay, straight, or bi. I'm questioning about my own orientation as well. But people say you can tell if you're gay or not by following the eyes. I think I'm more attracted to guys than girls. Anyways, I've been seeing this guy that I met about about 1.5 months ago, and he knows that my friends and family think that I'm 100% straight. He's been very supportive, and understands it's difficult as he's been through that himself a few years back when he came out. He's not pressuring me at all, and he'd be ok if I never tell anyone about my orientation. But I know I cannot hide this forever, and it won't be fair to him if this relationship becomes more serious. I think you should take your time, and if things get more serious, then you can start by telling your close friends first? I've told a couple of my friends already, and they've been very supportive. It's tough, but if this guy makes you happy, then you shouldn't worry too much about other people's opinion. People will always judge. What matters is what what makes you happy. Good luck buddy.
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Old 12-11-2015, 03:46 AM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,094 posts, read 60,173,613 times
Reputation: 60688
Well OP, that little "adventure" you and your girlfriend had (at your insistence to start it) didn't work out quite the way you envisioned did it?
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Old 12-11-2015, 03:50 AM
 
75 posts, read 55,856 times
Reputation: 34
Thank you khl3657.My situation is a bit different in that I dont think I am actually attracted to other guys.I am attracted to that particular guy.I dont even know if that makes any sense but I dont mind it either.I know that I have developed some really strong feelings about him ever since we had sex and I find my self pretty emotionally attached to him.We had some really exhaustive discussions about what is happening to me and I am getting closer and closer to him.So I can safely say that I am in love with him.I dont question this.It's just the first time that this is happening to me with a man.

Anyhow I know it seems like a mess.I am just apprehensive as to how I should make this transition in my life.
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Old 12-11-2015, 03:52 AM
 
35,309 posts, read 52,136,012 times
Reputation: 30999
Quote:
Originally Posted by DudeAth34 View Post
Now, how do I explain this to other people in my life?

.
As this is just a one time fling with a guy i dont see the point in telling every one you are bi-sexual,a move that may bring on more problems than its worth as once you make this public knowledge you can never undo it. for now i'd just leave it alone.
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Old 12-11-2015, 05:44 AM
 
311 posts, read 291,862 times
Reputation: 371
Quote:
Originally Posted by jambo101 View Post
As this is just a one time fling with a guy i dont see the point in telling every one you are bi-sexual,a move that may bring on more problems than its worth as once you make this public knowledge you can never undo it. for now i'd just leave it alone.
I agree, just let it go. Plenty of women "experiment" with their friends, but they don't go around telling everyone they are bi.
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Old 12-11-2015, 05:47 AM
 
27,957 posts, read 39,671,635 times
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For the background story:

http://www.city-data.com/forum/relat...-have-sex.html
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Old 12-11-2015, 05:54 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,282,099 times
Reputation: 30256
He must have torn that s**t up GOOD!
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Old 12-11-2015, 06:01 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,733,272 times
Reputation: 98359
For now, you don't have to tell your family ANYTHING because you aren't even sure what the heck is going on.

People break up all the time, so explaining that is rather simple. There are online resources for folks who are bicurious, which is what you sound like. Google that.
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Old 12-11-2015, 07:46 AM
 
Location: SoCal
20,160 posts, read 12,704,359 times
Reputation: 16993
You could be bi-sexual. I had a roommate like that. Take it slow if you are not sure about coming out.
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