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Just got off the phone with a good friend of mine. He's been with a woman for about 3 years, they are both divorced. They started seeing each other after she ended a LTR with a guy she was going to move in with. He had been divorced for a couple years. They do not live together but live in same town, maybe 10 minutes apart.
Found out she spent some time talking to her ex-LTR boyfriend. The hours are odd, was about 9 or 10pm till about 2 or 3am. No sex, just talking...and he believes her. I think I trust her too.
He found out by trusting his gut(he thought something was going on), and checked her phone to find they had been talking(not a lot, and not for many days). He confronted her and she got mad. Said she couldn't talk to him cause it might cause a fight. Didn't tell him cause it might cause a fight. She also got mad that he didn't trust her and checked her phone without asking. BTW, she has done the same thing in the past.
She called him to apologize about 12 hours after he found out. She wasn't real pleased that he just didn't accept her apology. He told her he had to think about it. They are going out of town to Christmas shop this weekend.
I told him to go away with her this weekend and not cancel their plans. See how she is and think about things before he does anything drastic, like end the relationship.
She has said she doesn't love him, he is in love with her but doesn't say it anymore because she kept telling him "we aren't that kind of couple". Jokingly, but I think it's odd. BTW, he said that her text to her ex BF, she told him "we still love each other but I don't think it will work out for us, the timing is off."
Am I wrong telling him to go Christmas shopping with her and think before he ends it? He wants to end it now, but he's mad/hurt. I know they are both good people, just don't know if they are good for each other anymore.
Said she couldn't talk to him cause it might cause a fight.
Didn't tell him cause it might cause a fight.
She also got mad that he didn't trust her and checked her phone without asking. BTW, she has done the same thing in the past.
She has said she doesn't love him, he is in love with her but doesn't say it anymore because she kept telling him "we aren't that kind of couple".
All of this ^^^ is not what people who love each other do.
Why should he waste any more time with someone who he obviously doesn't have emotional intimacy with? It sounds like she sees him as Mr. Right Now, or Mr. You'll Do.
I mostly agree with you OP...when you say "you don't know if they're good for each other"...the difference being that I don't think they are.
Mainly because she's already told him she doesn't love him and that "we're not that kind of couple".
She's also told the other guy she still loves him.
I know love can be blind, but she's certainly made it very clear how she feels.
I agree with your friend that he should end it now...find someone else to spend time with and maybe develop a relationship with a woman who can/will love him back.
I agree with you both. Thank you for the help.
I'll probably hear from him on how the weekend went sometime today, go from there.
Thanks again. Merry Christmas
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