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Old 12-11-2015, 07:06 AM
 
214 posts, read 224,759 times
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I am just not someone who is comfortable doing it, and it's something i feel should be done in the context of intimacy/sex. I met this girl and she finds it strange i am not fond of public affection and kissing in public, but this is just the way i have always been.

I don't agree with kissing a girl i am dating in public, but in the bedroom i love kissing, but when in public i don't agree with kissing for the sake of kissing, it has no meaning to it and it just seems forced. I don't know how to explain it efficiently, but it's just the way it is.

When i see couples kissing every 30 seconds or minute, it confuses me because how can kissing be so easy for some? It's like it means nothing. To me, kissing is synonymous with passion and intimacy, and kissing is something that i like to reserve for the intimate times i spend with someone, especially as a prerequisite to sex to get the juices flowing, so to speak.

How do you view kissing, heavy petting or making out in public? Does anyone agree with me that it should be reserved for the bedroom?

In my view, it's almost on par with saying "love" to a person every 5 mins without any real truth/genuineness behind the words.

 
Old 12-11-2015, 07:09 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,187 posts, read 41,793,678 times
Reputation: 82956
For the record, "heavy petting" should not be done in public.

But anyway, I see two potential problems: YOUR views on physical contact, and HER ability to respect your feelings.

Physical contact doesn't HAVE to be limited to a "prerequisite for sex." A little bit is a nice way to show spontaneous affection and intimacy, which is NOT a synonym for intercourse, by the way. You COULD think about loosening up a little. She may WANT you to hold her hand, walk with your arm around her or lean over and give her a kiss every once in a while.

But if she disregards your discomfort completely, that's a problem too.

It's up to the two of you to find a balance. Hopefully it doesn't include her straddling you at the mall. Most people don't enjoy seeing others just going at it in public, hence the phrase, "get a room."
 
Old 12-11-2015, 07:12 AM
 
Location: Paradise
2,456 posts, read 2,006,608 times
Reputation: 4024
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Physical contact doesn't HAVE to be limited to a "prerequisite for sex." A little bit is a nice way to show spontaneous affection and intimacy, which is NOT a synonym for intercourse, by the way.
Agree. It's nice to just get a quick hug or kiss from my hubby, no matter where we are. It's just a sign of affection. I can also see how someone who wants that attention wants the world to know they are in love with this person. It's kinda nice.


However, it sounds like you and this girl are incompatible in this area.
 
Old 12-11-2015, 07:18 AM
 
Location: U.S. (East Coast)
1,231 posts, read 1,050,504 times
Reputation: 2627
I like holding hands, hugs, eye gazing, touching.. in public. Why not?

The line for me is kissing, erotic touching, humping, grinding and such. I won't do anything that extreme in public either unless we're at a bar/concert -- then its fine. Not around the kids!
 
Old 12-11-2015, 07:19 AM
 
Location: NNJ
9,509 posts, read 5,358,962 times
Reputation: 10459
I don't know why people see it in such negative light but when I see a couple kissing passionately, I think "awe.. that is beautiful... a couple passionate for each other...". There's something there to behold beyond just the physical act.... they have something that many struggle to find in their lives. Many never find experience it.

Maybe I'm just off kilter....

Heavy petting like foreplay just before hitting the sack is a bit too much and should be kept in the private.
 
Old 12-11-2015, 07:20 AM
 
Location: In the desert, by the mirage.
2,322 posts, read 725,702 times
Reputation: 2418
Quote:
Originally Posted by California_Aspirer View Post

How do you view kissing, heavy petting or making out in public?
I have no problem with kissing, the occasional peck. Not every 30 secs. I wouldn't get anything done. A little more leeway when a couple is in the honeymoon phase, but not much.

Heavy petting or making out? Not in public. The last time I saw anyone engaging in this behavior, they were teens.
Quote:
Does anyone agree with me that it should be reserved for the bedroom?
I don't. Like Wmsn4Life stated Physical contact doesn't HAVE to be limited to a "prerequisite for sex." Heavy petting during commercials while watching a movie is highly encouraged
 
Old 12-11-2015, 07:21 AM
 
35,324 posts, read 25,151,966 times
Reputation: 32409
If you don't like it, then don't do it.

Really rather simple.
 
Old 12-11-2015, 07:42 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,202 posts, read 6,308,074 times
Reputation: 9815
I believe in seize the moment, if you feel like kissing in public, why not. I'm sure people don't kiss every 30 minutes, well not for long anyway.
My husband and I still hold hands when we go out in public, it's whatever floats your boat.
 
Old 12-11-2015, 07:49 AM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,226 posts, read 4,646,352 times
Reputation: 9283
Then don't do it.
 
Old 12-11-2015, 07:50 AM
 
214 posts, read 224,759 times
Reputation: 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunetunelover View Post
Agree. It's nice to just get a quick hug or kiss from my hubby, no matter where we are. It's just a sign of affection. I can also see how someone who wants that attention wants the world to know they are in love with this person. It's kinda nice.


However, it sounds like you and this girl are incompatible in this area.
I dunno about incompatible, but i have been in very few relationships, so maybe that is the reason. I just don't find it purposeful to kiss for the sake of it. I am not really a fan of hand holding either, but i will do it if i feel like it.

It might sound like i am unaffectionate, but i am definitely not. I can show affection, but i just find it tedious if i feel pressured to do it because this is what the girl requires to feel wanted. It is the same as throwing "i love you" around just to say it, because for me, i don't know what love really means anyway. for me, dating someone is an experience, a nice experience, but it's nothing more than that. We spend time with each other and have a connection, but as far as that it's nothing more, nothing less than that. This is the way i view any kind of relationship i have, whether it be a sexual or friendship, it's an experience and connection with someone.
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