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Old 12-12-2015, 10:52 AM
 
31 posts, read 22,340 times
Reputation: 23

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There's this guy that's fairly new to my social group. I've caught him staring at me on several occassions -- the most recent stare was quite prolonged and intent. However, he never speaks to me and displays other weird behavior. When he does speak to me, he keeps it very brief.
One day he was talking to a mutual friend and when I walked up, he quickly mentioned that he had a girlfriend. He also moved his seat when I innocently sat down next to him at a party one evening a couple of months ago when I first met him. However, this past Thursday we were at a Christmas party and I was sitting down and there was an empty seat next to me and I noticed he was lingering. After a few minutes he came over and said "ah, let me sit down right here," and sat down next to me. I was completely shocked because he sometimes acts like he wants nothing to do with me and was a complete a$$ the first time around.

In addition to the staring, he also laughs at all of my unfunny jokes, smiles at me to the point where I get creeped out, and one day I caught him flushing red when I was playing with my hair? I've never once flirted or anything with this guy although I do find him attractive, but I first and foremost respect that he has a girlfriend. I usually keep my distance and don't communicate much but as of late I've been a little friendlier for the sake of peace. Also, in the looks department, I don't think I'm too bad myself. So what gives? Guys, why the weird behavior? Does he hate me?

And for the smarty fartys on the board, I am asking this question not because I like him but because I just met this dude and he's being mean to me and not treating any of the other girls in the circle this way. Trying to gain clarity because I don't understand it. I don't have much interaction with him. I'm feisty and I speak my mind..that's all I could think of?
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Old 12-12-2015, 10:54 AM
 
5,428 posts, read 4,419,251 times
Reputation: 7258
Men want sex, food, and sleep. The basics. He probably wants to have sex with you. Make yourself sexually available to him if you are interested in him.
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Old 12-12-2015, 10:56 AM
 
31 posts, read 22,340 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
Men want sex, food, and sleep. The basics. He probably wants to have sex with you. Make yourself sexually available to him if you are interested in him.
Really? Wow. Someone else said that also. Welp, ain't happening.
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Old 12-12-2015, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,735,309 times
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I have the same situation with a dance friend and I've come to the conclusion that he is attracted to me, but for whatever reason he has no intention to date me. Could be the distance--he lives about 2 hours away.
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Old 12-12-2015, 11:01 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,085 posts, read 107,127,293 times
Reputation: 115875
If he's been mean to you, you don't need him. Sounds like he has issues with women, even though he's attracted to them. it sounds like he has the potential to be abusive (that's what being mean is). Yes, men can be captivated by someone, and want to put them down and trample on them at the same time.

Avoid.
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Old 12-12-2015, 11:03 AM
 
5,428 posts, read 4,419,251 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexanda View Post
Really? Wow. Someone else said that also. Welp, ain't happening.
If you are not interested in him, you need to tell that you are not sexually interested in him and for him never to interact with you again. You say you are feisty, prove it. Doing this will be best for both parties. You are mentally unburdened by interactions with him (there will never be another one after you say this) and he is free to pursue others that might be interested.

He needs to improve his game, or settle into a routine with his existing girlfriend.
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Old 12-12-2015, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,258,316 times
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He has a girlfriend and you say you're not interested....what is there to understand?

As a person that's 'feisty and speaks her mind'....ask why he is treating you so mean.
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Old 12-12-2015, 11:31 AM
 
311 posts, read 291,556 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexanda View Post
So what gives? Guys, why the weird behavior? Does he hate me?
Op,
no, the dude doesn't hate you. In fact, I think he finds you attractive. Men are not known for these passive aggressive behaviors. If we smile at you, it is really a freaking smile.
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Old 12-12-2015, 11:32 AM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,111,084 times
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From what you wrote it sounds more like you have a mild obsession and a crush. That is way too much detail for a new acquaintance.
How is it that you perceive him as being mean? Is he simply ignoring you?
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Old 12-12-2015, 11:33 AM
 
31 posts, read 22,340 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
I have the same situation with a dance friend and I've come to the conclusion that he is attracted to me, but for whatever reason he has no intention to date me. Could be the distance--he lives about 2 hours away.
Hi stepka,

Does he have a girlfriend?
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