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Old 12-14-2015, 12:54 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635

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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
yep, he loses his second income, his housekeeper, his cook, his nurse, his personal shopper, his secretary, his nanny, his laundress and she gains free time, a cleaner house, sleep, free sitter every other weekend, and her sanity. LOL.

Indeed. The data is overwhelming that men benefit more from marriage than women. And women suffer more from divorce.

 
Old 12-14-2015, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,515 posts, read 34,807,002 times
Reputation: 73728
Yep, you are STILL not being grateful for what you have.


Honestly, I don't think anything will make you truly happy. You always think "if I get 'X' I'll be happy then."

Learn to be happy NOW, or you will be posting threads here, complaining, when you are 80.
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Old 12-14-2015, 12:56 PM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,031,299 times
Reputation: 5964
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
What if tomorrow never comes? While you're waiting to do something with your life, your life and that of your children, is passing by. You need to make the most of now, not some distant future.
I can't move to where I want to go, until the kids are adults.
 
Old 12-14-2015, 12:57 PM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,792,673 times
Reputation: 4098
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Indeed. The data is overwhelming that men benefit more from marriage than women. And women suffer more from divorce.
Suffice to say, I belong in the "I disagree with this" camp.
 
Old 12-14-2015, 01:01 PM
 
Location: PA
971 posts, read 688,204 times
Reputation: 1713
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Is it men in the 35-40ish age do not want marriage or just the ones that I attract? Ironically I left my ex husband (married as a business arrangement and not for love) because I wanted to find and be married to my best friend. Silly me wanted love. I have been looking 10 years.

I spent 7 years living with my sons father, who told me what I wanted to hear until he could not do it and finally admitted he never really loved me. Off he went, tried a couple women out fast and became engaged to the third.

I spent 6 months with a guy that only needed me to provide a room over his head a few nights a week and store his stuff. Until he found someone that he was interested in for a relationship. I sent him to go live with her, where I hear they both have been arrested for assault and they have great knock down, drag out fights. I just wish him happiness and luck.

While I have a great boyfriend now, I am afraid he does not see marriage as a goal. Yesterday while discussing my tenant buying my rental, I said she was waiting for a large sum of money from her ex from her divorce. Bf said remind me not to ever marry you. Later in the evening we were talking about his sons mother and he said years ago, he argued with her because he told her he did not know if she would be around for his whole life. He then said at this point he does not even know if I would be.

While I may have been slow previously, I have learned to believe what they say. So now I get the feeling he does not want marriage and He never wants to move from his house. Aside from not sharing the same goal of marriage and I would eventually want to live with my significant other, everything in our relationship is perfect.

It just does not seem like the guys my age see a point to marriage. I want the stability and commitment. I want to be married for love and to experience a wedding, that I am not crying through and near the point of passing out. Men are just content being in a relationship to fit their needs for as long as they need. Why is this?

Sometimes I think I should have just dyed my hair blond, got a boob job and tried to make my ex husband fall in love with me.

I have a good friend that is 42, now a grandmother and she has never been married either. She wants to be but never has found a man that wants marriage to her.

And before I do date someone, I ask if marriage is something they see in their future. Every single one has said yes they want marriage. Maybe I need a new way of asking so I get the truth from the get go and don't waste more time.
Guys in the age range you mention that are fresh from divorce are for the most part not looking for anything serious....at least the ones I know in your area. Guys 50+ (which you don't like) are the ones looking to settle down because they have regained financial stability from their divorce, own their own home, and are tired of dating or whatever you want to call it.


You can ask a guy any way you want to put it and he is going to tell you what you want to hear. A guy knows if a gal asks if he is looking to get married, that the answer should be yes, to pass go and get the $200 and the goods.


You are just unlucky as your username says, or there is something wrong with you. I was at a Christmas party in Westminster Saturday night and the girls there were complaining about men and it made me think of you since it is in your neighborhood.
 
Old 12-14-2015, 01:04 PM
 
Location: PA
971 posts, read 688,204 times
Reputation: 1713
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I have an 18 month timeframe in my head.
Why would you waste another 18 months of your life? If you have known him that long it shouldn't take that long to figure out if you two want to be a couple.
 
Old 12-14-2015, 01:05 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
Suffice to say, I belong in the "I disagree with this" camp.

I'm not sure the data or the economic and sociological analysis of the data cares if either of us agree or disagree. It stands on its own.
 
Old 12-14-2015, 01:08 PM
 
Location: PA
971 posts, read 688,204 times
Reputation: 1713
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Such as? Online dating sucks. I work in an a mostly male industry. I have very manly hobbies. I am at a loss on where to look.

I speak guy language about cars, guns, atvs, etc. You would think I would have no issues. Bf thinks that most of our friends that have been together since high school are miserable and just staying married because it is easier. The romantic in me, can't possibly think this to be the case.
A guys dream.
 
Old 12-14-2015, 01:09 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsdad View Post
A guys dream.

Maybe some, somewhere.
 
Old 12-14-2015, 01:11 PM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,792,673 times
Reputation: 4098
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I'm not sure the data or the economic and sociological analysis of the data cares if either of us agree or disagree. It stands on its own.
It does indeed, and I've found the data to be very subjective, and one can dig up a bunch to studies that point in either direction. Knowing that, I'm opting to save us both the time of making the, "I'm right because the data I found says so" posts and simply throwing out there that I don't agree with you. Nobody's convincing the other either way, sometimes you just know that going in.

Edit: We all had to know from the start that 49ers' post was a bit TOO inflammatory. I definitely don't agree with the "everything to gain" camp. Not everything is black and white.
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