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How long have you been in your current relationship?
Since August. But we have been very close since October of 2014 and have known each other since high school.
And I am not saying I want to marry him now, but I am dating for the purpose of marriage. I am done with cohabitation and relationships that go no where.
Why ask at all? When he proposes you will know he wants marriage, if he does not propose within your established time frame you have to decide if you are going to stay in the relationship or move on to establish another time frame.
Is it men in the 35-40ish age do not want marriage or just the ones that I attract?
.
It's the ones you attract. If you look at the wedding announcements in the newspaper, you'll see that plenty of 30- and 40-something guys are getting married. Maybe you need to find new ways/venues to mingle and meet people...?
Most guys that have been married feel like they were raped in the divorce and the ones 35-40 never married either are not desirable or have avoided getting entangled and likely will continue to do so....buena suerte.
Well I left my ex husband in better shape than when he met me. I was the one that left with next to nothing.
Current bf, really faired ok also. He got the kids and kept everything. So no child support or alimony or anything.
Regardless, if I marry again it will be for good. I won't marry if forever is questionable.
And before I do date someone, I ask if marriage is something they see in their future. Every single one has said yes they want marriage. Maybe I need a new way of asking so I get the truth from the get go and don't waste more time.
No, there is no magic word you can say that will force a suitor to be honest about his intentions, although I do think it's a good idea to be upfront about yours from the beginning. All you can do is to pay close attention to day-to-day actions and words. When a guy says something like "remind me never to marry you," he's made his decision, and it's time to move on, though he may well deem the relationship good enough for right now and may want to drag things out.
In future relationships that feel as if they may be moving towards marriage, if there isn't a proposal within, I'd say, 18 months to 2 years at the very most, if you sincerely want to be married, walk. If a man in the 35-40 age bracket hasn't made a commitment in that timeframe, it's likely he never will, or will only grudgingly, and you don't want that.
Most guys that have been married feel like they were raped in the divorce and the ones 35-40 never married either are not desirable or have avoided getting entangled and likely will continue to do so....buena suerte.
"Most" guys? Less than half feel that way, because most divorces never go to court, quite a few are more or less amicable or matter-of-fact. If you mean "most guys who create internet blogs on divorce", that is definitely plausible.
It's the ones you attract. If you look at the wedding announcements in the newspaper, you'll see that plenty of 30- and 40-something guys are getting married. Maybe you need to find new ways/venues to mingle and meet people...?
Such as? Online dating sucks. I work in an a mostly male industry. I have very manly hobbies. I am at a loss on where to look.
I speak guy language about cars, guns, atvs, etc. You would think I would have no issues. Bf thinks that most of our friends that have been together since high school are miserable and just staying married because it is easier. The romantic in me, can't possibly think this to be the case.
No, there is no magic word you can say that will force a suitor to be honest about his intentions, although I do think it's a good idea to be upfront about yours from the beginning. All you can do is to pay close attention to day-to-day actions and words. When a guy says something like "remind me never to marry you," he's made his decision, and it's time to move on, though he may well deem the relationship good enough for right now and may want to drag things out.
In future relationships that feel as if they may be moving towards marriage, if there isn't a proposal within, I'd say, 18 months to 2 years at the very most, if you sincerely want to be married, walk. If a man in the 35-40 age bracket hasn't made a commitment in that timeframe, it's likely he never will, or will only grudgingly, and you don't want that.
I am not sure I would even know a relationship that is moving towards marriage. The men I am most happy with, see myself marrying, usually have a hidden agenda that does not include marriage.
I do feel that it is not just me. None of my exes have married after me. Current bf knows that I am not looking for cohabitation or an eternal relationship that goes no where.
Such as? Online dating sucks. I work in an a mostly male industry. I have very manly hobbies. I am at a loss on where to look.
I speak guy language about cars, guns, atvs, etc. You would think I would have no issues. Bf thinks that most of our friends that have been together since high school are miserable and just staying married because it is easier. The romantic in me, can't possibly think this to be the case.
hmm..... Maybe you live in an area where there aren't many singles in that age group, IDK. Geography can make a huge difference. Do you go to car shows (of all kinds, incuding antiques/classics)? Shooting or archery ranges? Volunteer for Habitat For Humanity? Look for non-profits to volunteer for that attract the age-range you're looking for. See what other opp'ties to mingle that your community offers, that suit you.
So you have 14 months to go before you have to decide anything...
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