I'm childfree & am dating a woman w/children (kissing, sex, friends)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, once you're hooked, a person might as well try and see how dating a person with children goes. Personally, despite liking kids, I have no taste for domestic drama. Your SO will always prioritize their children before you.
If you want to be spontaneous or travel, forget it. Somebody's gonna get sick or need to trade custody weekends. You'll have to be a diplomat forever. No privacy, no adult fun, no rowdy friends over if you live together and the kids show up. The mom's always gonna have her ear out for them.
For women dating a single/divorced dad, there's always the bat**** ex.
A man being adopted into an already existing family.
Two different concepts entirely.
No it isn't. Dna is dna. Your whole point. Passing on your genes to a future generation makes you a "winner". If you weren't so backwards I'd be mad and offended. But I feel sorry for you.
No it isn't. Dna is dna. Your whole point. Passing on your genes to a future generation makes you a "winner". If you weren't so backwards I'd be mad and offended. But I feel sorry for you.
Well, once you're hooked, a person might as well try and see how dating a person with children goes. Personally, despite liking kids, I have no taste for domestic drama. Your SO will always prioritize their children before you.
If you want to be spontaneous or travel, forget it. Somebody's gonna get sick or need to trade custody weekends. You'll have to be a diplomat forever. No privacy, no adult fun, no rowdy friends over if you live together and the kids show up. The mom's always gonna have her ear out for them.
For women dating a single/divorced dad, there's always the bat**** ex.
Drama isn't the result of being a parent. Prioritizing kids isn't drama, it's parenting.
Being spontaneous? Yep, it takes a hit when you are caring for small people who are not yet independent. Planning becomes essential. Not everyone has a problem with having to plan things, though, and some are of a temperament where that's how they do it, anyway. No idea if the OP prioritizes spontaneity or not, but, yeah, when somebody's got kids, you have to give them a head's up to plan unless you wanna take the kids along on your spontaneous excursion, too, and even then, there's planning involved. Valid.
Travel? You can travel. My parents traveled all over. We also traveled as a family. My husband, kid, and I travel now. We're gearing up for a big ol' train trip within the next week, in fact. Again, it takes planning. But so does travel, in general.
Getting sick? Life. Not "domestic drama."
Trading custody weekends? Again, life. Changes of plans and wrinkles due to other people happen all the time. They'll happen whether you date somebody with children or not.
Diplomacy? Not a bad skill to have.
No privacy/adult fun? Gotta say, I've found neither to be the case. We choose not to let that be an issue.
Rowdy friends? Dunno. I guess it would depend on one's definition of "rowdy." If it means "engaging in illegal activity," or something, yeah, you probably don't want that around kids. I don't know, can't really speak to the "Kids cramp your style as far as entertaining your rowdy friends is concerned" camp, because I don't really have any especially rowdy friends who come over anyway.
Why wouldn't a mother have hear ear out for her kids?
And there's always the "bat**** ex"...except in those cases where the ex is not remotely bat****, but merely an ex.
It's hard to talk about advice for something like this. It all comes down to how you feel about it. Personally a woman with kids is an instant deal breaker for me. The reason being I simply can't be happy raising another man's children and I'll feel like a ****. By the sound of it, the relationship is going well so far and you haven't run away at the news that she has kids. So go and meet them and see how you feel after. Don't expect to be a father to them anytime in the near future, but if you feel you can get comfortable in the relationship with the kids around, then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't just keep going with it.
So funny, I never felt bad for helping raise another woman's children. I felt good for helping raise my husband's children. It never occurred to me to feel anything but part of a modern family.
At 9 and 13, he isn't going to be raising too much. He is going to be an important adult to them, but not their father.
He isn't giving away his chance to be a father....he didn't plan on being one.
And being that his gf and ex have 50/50 custody...plus they go to school and in a few years should be off to college, it's not like he is throwing away spontaneity, travel, intimacy, etc. they should be able to squeeze plenty of all that in.
Ok to date but do not attempt a serious relationship until the kids grow up and move out of the house. You need a panel of live in expert counselors, psychologists, etc and even then most likely the relationship will not survive the stress and issues with the kids.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
