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I'm 24 and my bf is 30. We just moved in together and everything is great. My company has been toxic for me...but it has improved since I've talked about it with leadership. I am just nervous that if I turn this new opportunity down (I was offered a really great job 3,000 miles away) that I might once again be miserable at my job and regret not taking it. It's quite the conundrum.
To answer the OP, I have. 20 years ago I was in a relationship with a woman (possibly getting serious, but not quite there yet), and I got a great job offer half-way across the country; I hated the job I had at the time, so it was a no-brainer. Without hesitation I accepted the new job & broke up with the woman. It's one of the best decisions I ever made. The job lasted, but the relationship probably wouldn't have.
To answer the OP, I have. 20 years ago I was in a relationship with a woman (possibly getting serious, but not quite there yet), and I got a great job offer half-way across the country; I hated the job I had at the time, so it was a no-brainer. Without hesitation I accepted the new job & broke up with the woman. It's one of the best decisions I ever made. The job lasted, but the relationship probably wouldn't have.
A. I love your username!
B. My boyfriend and I are serious in that we totally love eachother and only want to be with eachother. However, we rarely talk about marriage and anything like that. He was so worried about moving in with me that we got in so many fights about it. When we finally did, he was happy! Marriage is not in the cards for at least a few years...not that i'm in a rush.
The only thing I struggle with is that I don't like my job because of some of the people that I work with. I always wonder if the grass is always greener.
In my particular case, I don't see why I wouldn't have moved to get a better job. My girlfriend at the time and I weren't married & I had no idea whether the relationship would work out or not. She didn't have much of a job herself & definitely wasn't going to support me even if we were married. So, I had to think of my financial situation & my career. Again, I truly hated & despised the job I had at the time - low pay, co-workers I got into fights with, etc. In the job I moved across the country for, I got paid better, enjoyed it a lot more, got along better with my new co-workers, etc. It was definitely the best decision I've ever made in my life.
So, I don't think there's anything wrong with choosing a job over a relationship. After all, a relationship won't pay the bills - if anything, it creates more of them.
Last edited by The Big Lebowski Dude; 12-17-2015 at 06:30 PM..
If this job is one that you think you will regret not taking, take it. If you truly love each other, you can make even a long distance relationship work. I chose not to try because I wasn't in love.
I've moved to another state for for grad school instead of staying put with my bf (now ex) and settling for a college that was a second choice for me. We tried long-distance for a while and visited each other a lot, but eventually, things just didn't work out and the long-distance had a lot to do with it. I'm a huge proponent of moving for your career, even if it means leaving things (or people) you don't want to leave behind. My bf was already settled into his career and was content with his life (I was 22, he was 34), but I wasn't so I had to move in order to achieve my goals. We loved each other a lot - actually, I still love him (only broke up over a month ago) and wish that things would've worked out, but time does really help with the heartache. I've for the most part moved on with my life and if I had to re-do everything, I wouldn't change a thing. Staying will only make you resent him for holding you back, trust me.
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