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My wife is Italian and German. 2/3rds of the Axis powers in WWII so you know she has a temper. She goes absolutely bat **** crazy at Christmas when we have family over. The house has to be spotless, everything perfect, etc. It makes me want to do heroin just to cope. For those that are married (spare me the soapbox rant about marriage single people) how crazy does your wife get during Christmas?
I always volunteer to work that day, and husband prefers to spend the day quietly with zero commotion.
Each individual, and each couple together, have the absolute option to choose how they either observe, or do not observe, any given holiday and its commotion.
Rather than passive aggressive griping to us here, I suggest that after this round of holiday commotion is over, you tell your wife that you find it stressful and will be disengaging from it.
Either you and she together can agree to make less commotion next year, or -- if she does not agree to that -- you can announce that you will personally be making other plans, such as a hunting trip. Or you can announce that you will spend no more than X hours with the major commotion, then seclude yourself in the shed, den, garage, basement, or outdoors. Go chop wood. Or sharpen your lawnmower blades.
Grow a backbone. Men have been going off on hunting trips, or occupying themselves with quiet 'manly type' tasks over various holidays since the most ancient times.
Kids take too much of our time to worry about such things. Our family knows this and visit with the primary intention to visit our children. They don't mind the "lived in" look we have in our home.
Please do understand that in certain cultures the home is a reflection on the wife. A wife with a mastery on keeping a home is considered a prize that any husband would be lucky to be married to. I found this especially true with Italians which pride themselves in the kitchen. So understand this... make her happy... and go along with it. Help her out and participate! It will all settle down in due time.
If you are an introvert like me, talk to her and let her know that you need some time to yourself after helping her out. I bet she will understand and give you the space you require once things are well underway.
So is your wife cooking and cleaning and wrapping and hosting while you sit back in a chair and watch?
+100! Don't forget figuring out what everybody gets ... and shopping ... and dragging all the decorations out ... and decorating ... and Christmas cards ... and everybody is underfoot because yay, vacation!
Christmas is not my favorite.
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