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Believe me, women your age have it harder because many men YOUR age won't give them a second look. You'll do well if you don't try to go after women 10-15 years younger than you. Don't go to bars...try the online world...isn't there a website for 50+? Cheat just a bit on your age and you'll be one of the "10"s!
LOL I have heard women say these things in magazine articles that men their age wont look at them but I was in a singles group for people over 45 .I thought the women were attractive but I never came close to getting a date from anyone. Most of the time the women were showing up with guys several years older than themselves. After a long time of attending their events I gave up on the group.
You feel old because you're out of shape and sound a bit depressed. The weight comes back because you're going on a diet or doing whatever to lose weight, then you stop doing it. Weight loss isn't something you do for a bit. It is a fundamental lifestyle change. I'm 5 years younger than you. Dating in many ways is better than ever. I don't like that it is mostly 34-38 yo that message me on OLD, but it is what it is.
If you want to feel better about yourself, and feel younger, and look younger, exercise exercise. If you're working out less than 45 min or so 4-5 days a week (I would suggest 6, personally), you're taking it too easy. After a couple of years of that, you'll feel like a new person.
Thanks! I will definitely shoot for at least 4 days a week.
You're a glass half empty kind of guy, aren't you?
You live fifteen minutes from a major university town where there are hundreds of well-educated single women your age who'd love to find a man to date. Stop making excuses.
When you don't feel good about yourself, it's hard to expect others to. You are not too old to date, but you're putting a down and negative vibe out there and that won't attract women.
Make 2016 about you. Commit to an exercise plan that will not only help you lose weight but the endorphin boost will help elevate your mood. And definitely take dance lessons if you think it will be fun and a good way to meet others.
Don't resign yourself to how things are right now, take steps to make it better. You're 49, not 99. It's not too late for anything.
This. And get out of your "shell" and talk to people. I was in your position at a younger age. I'm 52 now and find every rhyme or reason to talk to people! I don't care what the subject. The gift of gab will take you a long way. You just gotta sell yourself!
I'm 36, and personally I think that late 40's is the magical perfect golden age for men. I absolutely have no interest in any man younger than me, men in my own age range I consider momentarily but the single ones usually have maturity or life stages issues that I'm not down with, but the guys in their 40's, especially late 40's and even early 50's...that is what I consider PERFECT.
Granted. I know I'm not attracted to the same men that many women are. I'm not exactly typical in my preferences in many ways. But I'm part of a community where lots of ladies think just like me.
However, a guy that age, to succeed with women, MUST have some self confidence and self worth. If you are moping around all down on yourself hoping some lady will come to your rescue, you won't succeed no matter what your age, physical shape, or even income. I strongly believe that attitude and what you project is 99.9% of the game for men.
I have seen men succeed in dating, with the following handicaps but a good attitude (confident and like themselves, positive and strong vibe):
- Broke, homeless, and needing a sugar momma.
- Short
- Fat
- Over 60
- Not well endowed
- Serious sexual dysfunction
- Balding/Bald
And other things that many guys say, "I can't get women because ______ ."
The problem isn't the thing. The thing is not a thing, it doesn't matter, it is only an excuse. Let it go! The problem is saying, "I can't get women because" whatever. If you can let go of your investment in the outcome, act like you don't care what happens because you love yourself and life, and just go forth like you own the day, you are much more likely to attract female attention.
You know what you need to do. Go exercise and stuff, not because women will like you when you are in better shape, but because YOU will like you more, when you're in better shape, and once you like yourself, women will like you more. Also, do the writing stuff. You need more wins to your name, so whatever makes you feel like you're winning...go for it.
Just turned 49 and I found that if you focus on women over the age of 40 it's a gold mine out there. I have been in a relationship most of the year, but before I settled down with one woman I was getting 2-3 dates a week with different women. For awhile I was getting more action than I was back in college. From my experience quite a few of the women I went out with did not care that I made less than they did. They were looking for stable men who could hold up their end of the conversation, kept care of themselves, did not live with their parents and somewhat healthy. Many women know the reality of the current job market, a lot of the jobs that men typically do have been reduced or cut. I ended up dating a few women who had stable civil service jobs who wanted to date any man that was somewhat normal.
LOL I have heard women say these things in magazine articles that men their age wont look at them but I was in a singles group for people over 45 .I thought the women were attractive but I never came close to getting a date from anyone. Most of the time the women were showing up with guys several years older than themselves. After a long time of attending their events I gave up on the group.
OP, in order to get dates, you need to *talk* to women. Chat them up casually, and see how they respond. It sounds like it wasn't a singles group you were attending, though. Find a singles group your age, they're around. Dancing lessons is a good idea, too, but it's best to have a multi-pronged strategy; any one activity won't be a panacea. Meetups, dancing, the gym (some gyms are very social. At my current gym, the older contingent is the most social, chatting in a group on the cardio machines and bikes), maybe some volunteering or a college evening class or workshop (writing classes attract women); a combination of activities will enrich your life, give you much to look forward to, and get you out of your funk. It also sounds like you've had a shyness problem all your life. Time to work on that, as part of your makeover.
The most effective diets in maintaining weight loss are those that spell out how to do that. They include instructions on how to maintain a modified (easier) form of the diet and an exercise program for life. It's a lifelong commitment to health, not a one-time blitz that you walk away from when you're done.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
My opinion - get in shape, hit the gym, change your diet.
There are TONS of mid 40s women waiting for man like you. TONS.
Many guys your age are delusional and try to hit on MUCH, MUCH younger women, and ignore women 40 and above.
Lets not get crazy. The reality is as a 44 yo it is mostly 34-38 yo women that seem interested in people my age, not mid 40s or later, even though that is often who I contact.
And no, there are not tons. It's easy to find women to roll around with enough, but if dude wants a relationship, it is damn hard. Unless he's super lucky, after he makes all the changes he needs to it will still take years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by grmi66
Just turned 49 and I found that if you focus on women over the age of 40 it's a gold mine out there. I have been in a relationship most of the year, but before I settled down with one woman I was getting 2-3 dates a week with different women. For awhile I was getting more action than I was back in college. From my experience quite a few of the women I went out with did not care that I made less than they did. They were looking for stable men who could hold up their end of the conversation, kept care of themselves, did not live with their parents and somewhat healthy. Many women know the reality of the current job market, a lot of the jobs that men typically do have been reduced or cut. I ended up dating a few women who had stable civil service jobs who wanted to date any man that was somewhat normal.
This, though I date the ones looking for someone not normal. Or I hope to. I can't deal with total normz.
Just turned 49 and I found that if you focus on women over the age of 40 it's a gold mine out there. I have been in a relationship most of the year, but before I settled down with one woman I was getting 2-3 dates a week with different women. For awhile I was getting more action than I was back in college. From my experience quite a few of the women I went out with did not care that I made less than they did. They were looking for stable men who could hold up their end of the conversation, kept care of themselves, did not live with their parents and somewhat healthy. Many women know the reality of the current job market, a lot of the jobs that men typically do have been reduced or cut. I ended up dating a few women who had stable civil service jobs who wanted to date any man that was somewhat normal.
^^^^^ this
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