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I'm only speculating (as a woman with a fairly strong libido), but based on conversations I've had with people over the years, it's not just that they "only" want sex, but they want to avoid a long-term relationship where there is sexual incompatibility or lack of sex overall.
A guy may think "well, if she's never into it now, it's only going to get worse down the road". Even if he likes you for a million other reasons, few men (and few women) will enter into what they feel may be a sexless relationship.
Exactly. I think most men would go for a long-term relationship with a woman they're sexually compatible with. The notion that men just want a platonic, friends-with-benefits type deal is usually reserved for the under-25 crowd, I would think. Sure sometimes you do just want sex with no-strings-attached, but that's not what's ideal for the long haul.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Setchel
Anyway, the rest of your post annoys me. You both want to have sex? Go for it. At least one of you don't? Then don't. Why does it have to be that hard to follow?
I agree. Never a good idea to complicate things, especially not things that are supposed to be fun.
The whole debate over men vs. women when it comes down to sex drive is complex. I think age and past experience and personality have a lot to do with it. I think sex becomes less complicated for women in their 30s, or after they have had a few relationships, so they have a better understanding of how sex factors into their relationships. So thus, they wind up with men who complement them well. Single men and single women are a toss-up, but I will say I think generally men are less selective than women when it comes to sex.
I think men can be one-track-minded when it comes to pursuing sex because we're conditioned (for lack of a better word) to know that if you don't go after it, you're probably not going to get it. It's inertia. Also, I think it has something to do with some women wanting sex less when they think it's always available. For all the talk of libido and men wanting sex more than women, if a guy you were dating was kinda take it or leave it when it came to sex, and he didn't really make you feel he desired you, 1) I think many women would find themselves very hungry for some affection, 2) I don't think they would feel very amorous towards him if he was chilly when it came to sex with them, and 3) they probably would have a hard time staying committed if they encountered someone who DID seem to desire them in that way.
While I think women should only have sex with a guy if they feel comfortable and because they want to do it, women also need to understand that most men are as reticent to give their hearts to a woman who doesn't sexually fulfill them as they are to give themselves sexually to a man who doesn't fulfill them emotionally.
Not to besmirch military spouses as a whole, but there's running jokes about when the sailors leave town how a lot of women go out and have a good time
Not all of course, but I've dealt with enough military guys over the yrs to hear all of the various stories.
Heard those stories too. I have a close friend who is in the Marines who got back home after deployment and...surpriiiiiise! She cheated on him every time he was deployed. I guess masturbation can bore these women who cheat on their man when they are gone over seas .
Heard those stories too. I have a close friend who is in the Marines who got back home after deployment and...surpriiiiiise! She cheated on him every time he was deployed. I guess masturbation can bore these women who cheat on their man when they are gone over seas .
Well in all fairness im sure many a man ( not referring to military personnel ) that has gone away on "business" has cheated so I don't think it's fair to single out the women on this.
Aside from the woman I married (thankfully), I have not found women to have higher sex drives as a whole.
Interesting....kinda like how you "find" something the very last place you looked! No disrespect - sounds like the first woman you were sexually compatible with, you married. How long did that take?
I failed to mention that the last couple of years of my marriage was sexless. I tried to initiate intimacy but she kept refusing. Of course I got tired of it and said "See ya!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by IntentionsRGood
Men are designed with higher sex drives for a reason. Without men the human race would cease to exist. Women outnumber men globally and nature maintains that perfect balance so that men don't dominate and overrun the female species.
Look at what's happening in India where the male to female ratio is much higher than in other parts of the world.
The sad truth is most men use women for sex. That's the way nature intended it. Why do you think prostitution...?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDave72
Aside from the woman I married (thankfully), I have not found women to have higher sex drives as a whole.
There are always exceptions out there but generally speaking, yes, men want sex more than women. Not sure if its common to hear guys cry and get depressed because they felt used for sex , women putting effort, romance, creativity, and money (prostitution) to "convince and push" a man to have sex with them or get into his underwear. Men testing women to see if they are only wanted for sex.
Women want sex as much as men. Tickle here or their and watch. We are no different. The problem is being able to talk.
Imagine if a man and woman sat down and talked. The man said, I am going to want to **** every woman that walks by. The woman says ok and she replies, I might want to **** another man. Then the mans says, ok.
Well, all that **** is out of the way. Lets have a relationship.
Women Sex Drives are weaker than theirs counterparts Men because men have More Climax's/Orgasms than Women tend to have. Men that don't make certain that his partner have herself A Climax/Orgasms before him the male sometimes makes the woman feel that she was Sexual Used By Her Lover because she doesn't have her needs met after totally meeting the needs of theirs partner.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sorry. Um...you clearly have not met the Hitachi magic wand, my friend.
Anyways... *cough*
Women want sex as much as men, and sometimes more. Possibly if all the data were truthfully reported, significantly moreso in some age brackets in particular. We do. Seriously. Both the basic stimulation, and the skin contact, affection, etc. (Excepting that individuals of both genders do vary on this, and not EVERY woman or man wants sex at all, and we're all over the spectrum about it.)
But we have some very hardcore societal conditioning, as do men, about all things sex. We sometimes feel like we have to play games or hard to get, we are taught from the first stirrings of puberty that life is one long con game where boys are gonna try to get sex from us, and then treat us like garbage and break our hearts, and the only way to be respected by others (men and women alike in society) is to not be a sex object, not be sexual, not give up the sex unless you bargain well for it and get everything it's worth. Negotiate a great marriage with your sex-coin, and live the good life! Give it up too easily, wind up a pregnant teenage drug addicted dropout or something. We want it....we just have had it programmed into our minds that we're not allowed to go after it. But no matter how much we want it, we only want it with certain guys, and I do think that women are less inclined to lower our standards just to get "a piece."
Guys on the other hand are programmed to pursue it and it's a sign of how much power and prestige you have as a man, that you can get a good deal on sex...basically "get it free"...not just do I mean not hiring a prostitute, I mean dodging relationships and winning the game by getting sex and giving little or nothing in return. In some contexts at least, women get shame, guys get high-fives.
This whole thing gets awfully messy when human beings with thoughts and emotions come into it. Surprise, surprise, men have hearts and feelings and want to be loved. Women like sex. Shocking!! Except when they don't. *shrug*
Personally I prefer to think of it as, "He got a fun sex experience, I got a fun sex experience, both of us win, fair trade, let's get together again soon and do that again!"
However, no matter how much a woman wants sex, once she starts feeling bad about the person she is intimate with, her desire will wane. OP, you need to use your words. Talk to your partner. If you are unhappy or insecure because he is still on the dating sites, to the point where you feel that you need to play games because you think he's playing games, this whole thing is stupid and doomed and you should just walk away from it now. And if you are prone to feeling insecure once involved in a sexual relationship, perhaps wait a bit longer (until you know you want the same things in the relationship at least) before having sex with the guy. Before anyone jumps in and says, "Yeah, but if she doesn't give it up quick enough, a prospective boyfriend is just gonna bail!" that is an over-generalization. I know guys who actually do feel better about waiting for it, chasing it a bit, and putting some time and effort in with a woman before jumping in bed with her. They are often the ones who want relationships and not just an interaction based primarily on sex.
Finally, about the military spouse thing...I had no temptation to cheat while my hubs was deployed. I needed companionship, for that I had friends. I needed stimulation, for that I had my own alone time. But I did hear stories, and that is one reason I didn't want to live on post. I didn't want to be hearing the gossip about who was messing around on whom, it seemed pretty toxic. Seems some of the guys waited until their "buddies" deployed and went after their wives. Gross. There is a saying, "Trust me with your life, not your money or your wife!"
I'm On A Smartphone And May Have Big Fingers Typo's
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sorry. Um...you clearly have not met the Hitachi magic wand, my friend.
Anyways... *cough*
Women want sex as much as men, and sometimes more. Possibly if all the data were truthfully reported, significantly moreso in some age brackets in particular. We do. Seriously. Both the basic stimulation, and the skin contact, affection, etc. (Excepting that individuals of both genders do vary on this, and not EVERY woman or man wants sex at all, and we're all over the spectrum about it.)
But we have some very hardcore societal conditioning, as do men, about all things sex. We sometimes feel like we have to play games or hard to get, we are taught from the first stirrings of puberty that life is one long con game where boys are gonna try to get sex from us, and then treat us like garbage and break our hearts, and the only way to be respected by others (men and women alike in society) is to not be a sex object, not be sexual, not give up the sex unless you bargain well for it and get everything it's worth. Negotiate a great marriage with your sex-coin, and live the good life! Give it up too easily, wind up a pregnant teenage drug addicted dropout or something. We want it....we just have had it programmed into our minds that we're not allowed to go after it. But no matter how much we want it, we only want it with certain guys, and I do think that women are less inclined to lower our standards just to get "a piece."
Guys on the other hand are programmed to pursue it and it's a sign of how much power and prestige you have as a man, that you can get a good deal on sex...basically "get it free"...not just do I mean not hiring a prostitute, I mean dodging relationships and winning the game by getting sex and giving little or nothing in return. In some contexts at least, women get shame, guys get high-fives.
This whole thing gets awfully messy when human beings with thoughts and emotions come into it. Surprise, surprise, men have hearts and feelings and want to be loved. Women like sex. Shocking!! Except when they don't. *shrug*
Personally I prefer to think of it as, "He got a fun sex experience, I got a fun sex experience, both of us win, fair trade, let's get together again soon and do that again!"
However, no matter how much a woman wants sex, once she starts feeling bad about the person she is intimate with, her desire will wane. OP, you need to use your words. Talk to your partner. If you are unhappy or insecure because he is still on the dating sites, to the point where you feel that you need to play games because you think he's playing games, this whole thing is stupid and doomed and you should just walk away from it now. And if you are prone to feeling insecure once involved in a sexual relationship, perhaps wait a bit longer (until you know you want the same things in the relationship at least) before having sex with the guy. Before anyone jumps in and says, "Yeah, but if she doesn't give it up quick enough, a prospective boyfriend is just gonna bail!" that is an over-generalization. I know guys who actually do feel better about waiting for it, chasing it a bit, and putting some time and effort in with a woman before jumping in bed with her. They are often the ones who want relationships and not just an interaction based primarily on sex.
Finally, about the military spouse thing...I had no temptation to cheat while my hubs was deployed. I needed companionship, for that I had friends. I needed stimulation, for that I had my own alone time. But I did hear stories, and that is one reason I didn't want to live on post. I didn't want to be hearing the gossip about who was messing around on whom, it seemed pretty toxic. Seems some of the guys waited until their "buddies" deployed and went after their wives. Gross. There is a saying, "Trust me with your life, not your money or your wife!"
I don't have time to properly respond to your post , but both you and I kown that high tech sex toys have the innate ability to satisfy the sexual needs of a woman without leaving her with that empty I been used feeling.
Until there are subhuman female sex slaves, that are clean and done-up, men will always try to claim a woman as theirs who happily do what they want
It's a power thing and men are restless until they are satisfied, but there is no eternal satisfaction for the craving of power since it regenerates in a man when the chemistry/hormones are replaced by their bodies in their blood
There's no logic to it
And if there's no logic to it then it's logical to be away from it
Just as its logical for men to be outside of the internal drama / hormone-driven anxiety build ups in women
What do you want a man for?
What do men want women for?
It's not logical
It cannot be answered with logic
My advice
Get a leather suit, a whip, and make the man your b***h lol
Then they'll give you all the space you want
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, women putting effort, romance, creativity, and money (prostitution) to "convince and push" a man to have sex with them or get into his underwear. Men testing women to see if they are only wanted for sex.
I'm On A Smartphone And May Have Big Fingers Typo's
