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Old 12-25-2015, 05:11 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,330,399 times
Reputation: 30258

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Suave pickup line

Lol
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Old 12-25-2015, 08:42 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,923 posts, read 7,715,601 times
Reputation: 16662
Yeah that was a bad compliment.

That can be interpreted as you calling her family ugly or you saying she isn't all that attractive.

Think before you speak next time and quit trying so hard.
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Old 12-25-2015, 08:47 AM
 
216 posts, read 212,892 times
Reputation: 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
By any chance are you trying to neg?

If so, you can see exactly how well it works...the first couple of times she kind of tried to smile and be a good sport about it, then this most recent time she stopped trying to laugh off your unappealing actions and just shook her head at you. Three strikes and you were out of even her trying to smooth out how uncomfortable you were making her and probably everyone else.

Score minus one for PUA. Next time try just being decent and interesting. (With the next girl, I mean. This one, I would leave alone because at some point she truly won't care about making a scene or whatever and may just tell you off loudly wherever the two of you are.)

Stay away from the games. Work on yourself, work on being someone you'd like - so that you can see how someone else would like you too. Make that your 2016 resolution - to be genuine, and genuinely interesting, and genuinely likeable. Indeed, you may already be all those things, but are covering them up with games. Don't. Be brave. Be yourself. And find that girl who wants you for who you are. Good luck and merry Christmas.
I have no idea what it means when you say 'neg" or "PUA"

And I think you and the others have completely misunderstood my query or I've not made myself clear. If it be the latter then let me apologize for not painting a good enough picture of the overall situation. This is not a woman I'm looking to date or hit upon, I just think she's a unique individual that's likable. I only run into her ever so now and then by way of work. When I gave her the compliment about her hair, that was a genuine compliment and I meant it. I was not at all trying to play some game, I simply thought her new hair style looked good on her and said so, that's it. As for the age thing it just sort of happened out of the blue, I didn't walk in with the intention to find out what her age was nor did I care. I just thought in the conversation she seemed to have an understanding of things of someone much older and it took me by surprise; she looked way too young to be that knowledgeable. So blurted it out looking directly at her that she seemed way to knowledgeable about that sort of thing, and looked to my co-worker and the patron, and said to them, "This is the question you're never supposed to ask a woman", and she immediately said her age before I could finish the my sentence.

A couple of weeks ago I needed to go by this woman's work place, because I needed to snap some photos of some machines we have in there. (I needed the pictures to show a potential client of how we mounted the equipment there, so I could demonstrate we could do the same for them if they liked. My sole purpose for stopping to take the picture was to make a future sale). When I went there to take the photo's I had no way of knowing she'd be there nor was I looking for her to be. I don't keep tabs on when she's working and when she's not. Her travels and life are of no importance to me, she's just a person I run into from time to time. Anyhow I was greeted at the door by her and I explained why I had stopped in and asked her permission to come in. Once I had finished with the professionalism, I turned my conversation away from that and said "It's good to see you again, I've not seen you in a while" and she replied with "It's good to see you again too". Normally I'd think nothing of that, I'm just personal in that way with folks from time to time, but I don't think I've ever said "It's good to see you again" to someone I barely know. And I certainly wasn't expecting her to reply in the same manner and tone. Once I was finished taking the pictures I went over to where she was working and thanked her for letting me grab the pictures and added "And that before I go I just wished to say in case I didn't see her again... And before I could finish that she said "And you have a Merry Christmas too".

I'm no phony, and I don't play games I say what I want to say rightly or wrongly. Believe you me, I'm a complete A-hole, Nice I am not! However underneath that callous exterior I can be graciously kind, I'm genuine to the core. If I tell someone I like the outfit they're wearing I'm not saying it to be nice or to garner attention, I saying it because I mean it.

Last edited by Ironhorse444; 12-25-2015 at 09:22 AM..
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Old 12-25-2015, 09:17 AM
 
216 posts, read 212,892 times
Reputation: 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Yeah that was a bad compliment.

That can be interpreted as you calling her family ugly or you saying she isn't all that attractive.

Think before you speak next time and quit trying so hard.
Actually it wasn't her family the conversation had been centered on she had been talking about her sister. It just happen to be the photo she was showing had her Mother, Dad, Sister & herself in it. I don't recall verbatim exactly what I said but it was along those lines. She just shook her head no and I wasn't sure if it was she don't think of herself as prettier than her sister or that she didn't like knowing and hearing me say she was the one with all the good looks. I really didn't say it to give her compliment I said it because it was true. I'm long past giving a crap whether I'm liked or not I say what I say because it's what I choose to say. I'm not looking to hook up with anyone! If I tell a woman I like her outfit or hair, it means just that, and nothing more. I say it because it's the truth, no games here, just me being true to myself & genuine.

Last edited by Ironhorse444; 12-25-2015 at 09:26 AM..
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Old 12-25-2015, 09:20 AM
 
1,278 posts, read 1,114,614 times
Reputation: 4004
If you really mean it when you like someone's outfit or their hair or how smart they are then just say that!

Don't say, I've seen that dress/hairstyle on other people and it looked so ugly but you look good in it!
Just say, I like your hairstyle! It really suits you!

And don't say, People your age are usually so stupid. But you're smart!
Just smile and don't say anything because she doesn't need to know that you think people her age are idiots.

If you think her family is ugly and she's the only one with any looks then just say, Lovely family! And leave it at that. Don't add anything else.

Just say what you mean and leave out the commentary because that's what makes your compliments sound totally fake. Genuine compliments don't include insults at all, period.
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Old 12-25-2015, 10:04 AM
 
216 posts, read 212,892 times
Reputation: 126
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiGal7 View Post
If you really mean it when you like someone's outfit or their hair or how smart they are then just say that!

Don't say, I've seen that dress/hairstyle on other people and it looked so ugly but you look good in it!
Just say, I like your hairstyle! It really suits you!
That's what I said when I talked about her hair. It wasn't a compliment, it wasn't a line. I meant it because it was true. If I tell someone I like their outfit I mean it, it's not to be taken as a pick up line. I'm saying it because I mean it. I've said that before to a woman who was extremely grateful for it but it didn't make her rush over and try and talk to me the next time she saw me. I seen her look my way a few times but I wasn't interested and she made no attempt to to speak with me. I think a person can understand when a comment is genuine and when it's a pick up line. Therefore I know my comment about this girls hair being nice was taken for it's face value and it wasn't some attempt to get to know her better.

Quote:
And don't say, People your age are usually so stupid. But you're smart!
Just smile and don't say anything because she doesn't need to know that you think people her age are idiots.
I thought she was younger than she was and from what little I've spoken with her she does believe most people her age and younger are stupid, her words.

Quote:
If you think her family is ugly and she's the only one with any looks then just say, Lovely family! And leave it at that. Don't add anything else.
The conversation wasn't about her family it had been centered on her sister.

Quote:
Just say what you mean and leave out the commentary because that's what makes your compliments sound totally fake. Genuine compliments don't include insults at all, period.
I do say what I mean there is nothing fake about me. If I don't like something I'll say so and I don't give a crap what someone thinks of me for saying it. Pretending to be nice when you're just really trying to not to be insulting is what I define as fake, a real phony. People who are genuine make no excuses for what they say and they don't hide behind the fake mask of just playing polite.

I'm not looking to ask this woman out, I don't date! Nor do I think she has any interest in me, she's not the sort of gal who'd find me attractive. I just find her and I interactions a little unusual, it's not like she's running up to say hello to me, or making any attempts to talk to me. Why she doesn't even know my name I think? Nor has she asked me. So, I know without question I'm the furthest thing from her mind, which is fine by me. She's just a person I run into ever now and then and that's it.

Last edited by Ironhorse444; 12-25-2015 at 10:12 AM..
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Old 12-25-2015, 10:15 AM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,984,452 times
Reputation: 26919
Hmm, great, well you totally have a handle on things, have a great reason for everything you said and she totally loves your personality, that shaking her head and glaring thing notwithstanding. Meanwhile you don't want to date her anyway, plus you don't care about her comings and goings and in fact generally run into her purely by accident. You have decided she's unusual when she responds politely, is unusual when she responds to her family being called ugly by shaking her head and unusual for responding to "nice to see you" with "nice to see you" (wow, how weird).

But all of this is neither here nor there because you simply don't care...as proven by the fact that you come on the internet to ask thousands of strangers about every detail down to quoting what she said and describing the exact shift of her eyes. Yep, you're just totally unaffected by all this. Therefore, I don't see a problem or even a question here except ha ha, her totally normal reactions are just so unusual. I mean...in passing they are. So yeah, carry on and merry Christmas.

Last edited by JerZ; 12-25-2015 at 10:32 AM..
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Old 12-25-2015, 10:26 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,188 posts, read 107,790,902 times
Reputation: 116082
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ironhorse444 View Post
Actually it wasn't her family the conversation had been centered on she had been talking about her sister. It just happen to be the photo she was showing had her Mother, Dad, Sister & herself in it. I don't recall verbatim exactly what I said but it was along those lines. She just shook her head no and I wasn't sure if it was she don't think of herself as prettier than her sister or that she didn't like knowing and hearing me say she was the one with all the good looks. I really didn't say it to give her compliment I said it because it was true. I'm long past giving a crap whether I'm liked or not I say what I say because it's what I choose to say. I'm not looking to hook up with anyone! If I tell a woman I like her outfit or hair, it means just that, and nothing more. I say it because it's the truth, no games here, just me being true to myself & genuine.
Maybe she thought you were coming on too strong. That's my take on it. Next time, instead of continuing with the compliments, try having a normal conversation with her. Radical concept, no?
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Old 12-25-2015, 10:32 AM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,631,047 times
Reputation: 3769
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ironhorse444 View Post
There is this place I visit once a month by way of work. One day a couple months ago there was this young lady who works there that was showing some pictures on her phone to a regular patron and myself of her mom, dad and sister. I happen to say 'So, you're the one in the family who got all the good looks?" jokingly. I was rather put back by her response though, as she slightly cut eye eyes to me and quickly looked down while shaking her head no. It left me uncertain if she had been embarrassed that I gave her a compliment or just offended that I was giving her a compliment?
Obviously she did not receive what you said and she made that clear to you by her reaction. If I said something stupid like that, I'd apologize the next time I talked to her lol.
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Old 12-25-2015, 10:36 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,188 posts, read 107,790,902 times
Reputation: 116082
If you're not particularly into her and aren't flirting with her, I don't know why you'd feel the need to dissect her every reaction, anyway.
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